What An Industry!

It is estimated that the weight loss industry was worth $390 billion in 2010 and will be something in the area of $671 billion  by 2015.  The saying should be, "The only guarantees in life are death, taxes and being bombarded with information on how to lose weight!"

This week in USA Today, they posted some new books hitting the shelves.  These are big books.  Big money too.  I looked over them and wonder what it could be that they write so much about. 

I have lost weight and I don't think I would need much more than a chapter or two to go over what my silver-bullet secret is in depth.  My "secret" was learned at H3. 

I like to refer to Bob Wright at Hilton Head Health when I think about how to navigate all of the sure-fire solutions and diets out there.  I call it my "Wright Wradar".  In short, it just means to use a good common sense filter when considering some of these books and strategies out there.

I scanned the article from USA Today but it just did not turn out good, however that is not stopping me from posting them for some filler on this blog ;-)

Looking them over, the synopsis of each gives me some direction on which books I find to be a complete waste of money and which books might be just a long read with some OK information in them.  The only one I would buy straight out is the book on the Volumetrics Diet.  I prefer to not call it a diet because it is what I practice everyday at home.  This is basically the concept of taking everyday meals and making the portions bigger by using other, low calorie ingredients (usually veggies) to bulk them up.  In a nutshell, don't eat like a bird when you feel like you need to cut calories.

My thoughts based on the synopsis of each book is below.  DISCLAIMER - I am truly judging these books by their cover and 2 sentence synopsis:

• S.A.S.S. Yourself Thin - 4 meals a day with whole foods, and mandatory dark chocolate.  Hmmmm....sounds like a long book to tell you to eat good veggies and treat yourself a little.
• The Dash Diet - Pick foods you enjoy, don't set unrealistic goals, blah, blah, blah.  Same book, different title.  I have actually read the concept of this (Dietary Approaches To Stop Hypertension).  It was wordy and complex.  Just long enough and complex enough for people to say 'Forget it!".  It does not need to be.  Save your time and money.
• The Starch Solution - Eat rice, starches, rice, corn, etc.  Avoid fats and oils.  This is a new one....the opposite of the Atkins essentially.  I would be curious to see what the calories on this thing suggests.  Either way, it is NOT sustainable long term much like Atkins and therefore just another gimmick diet, not a lifestyle change.
• Ultimate Volumetrics Diet - Again, I prefer this one but just call it 'How to cook with volumetrics' and leave it at that!
• The Blood Sugar Solution - A six week plan to reverse Type II Diabetes and obesity renamed as Diabesity avoiding processed food, blah, blah, blah regurgitated.  Brilliant.  Then what the heck are you supposed to eat after the 6 weeks?  This guy says one of the the biggest mistake dieters make is counting calories.  Uh, really?  This guy is a chip off of the PT Barnum block!
• Weight Loss Boss - Written by the CEO of Weight Watchers (intriguing).  This does focus on habits you can maintain for life and not just  2 month period of deprivation.  Did we need a book to tell us that?

Don't get suckered in here folks.  Follow these rules at no charge and you still have the rest of the night to read a good book.

• Know what your RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate) is.  You can calculate this at the Hilton Head Health daily blog under nutrition.
• Track your meals.  Eat what you want, but be accountable for every calorie.  I think the need to eat bigger meals will win out over just eating what you want.
• Get 50 minutes of exercise 4-5 times a week doing exercises you enjoy.  Exercise means 'increased heart rate'.
• Wash, rinse, repeat.

There you have it!  The SECRET IS OUT and I am not going to make a dime of that $671 billion.  Oh well, maybe Al will give me a loan (had to do it....been a long time since he got a mention).

Sorry for the bad scans....you can probably find this article out on USA Today if you want to read it for yourself.

The Orracle is Off the Grid...

Off the grid? Well, so to speak.

Some of you, actually very few of you know where I am these days. I was not completely open and advising everyone of my upcoming leave of absence from work.

You see, in the nearly 11 years that I have worked at my job, it has been nuts. Al knows this. Many others know that. I enjoy working there but have seriously neglected myself. At 40, my health has been spiraling our of control. Could it be stress? Too many hours? Maybe -but no more excuses.

On Easter Sunday, I flew away from my awesome family down to Savannah, GA via Atlanta. 2 flights, open first class seat next to me on both legs - that NEVER happens - but back on the story.

From Savannah, I took a shuttle to Hilton Head Island and more specifically, Hilton Head Health. This is a wellness resort / spa. I will be here for 4 full weeks finding the tools and respite needed to make a complete behavioral change related to fitness, wellness, health, SELF and nutrition.

Hilton Head Health Institure (H3i) in a nutshell is a bootcamp but before you start thinking about Jillian and Bob (Biggest Loser), imagine it with super nice, concerned people that want nothing other than you to get better. There is a Bob here (he has been here for 30 years) and a Beth but no Jillian. Adam and all of the others are fantastic also.

Today was day 1 of 28. Never did I imagine I would survive and be happy on 1200 calories whilst having my rear end handed to me in fitness classes. I cannot imagine how day 28 might feel in comparison. With any luck, I will always remember what day 1 felt like so I never put myself in this position again.

So watch this space. Pics to come of the facility, gators that roam freely, possibly food, staff, WONDERFUL friends and much more.

Now I lay me down to sleep....quite early....but in less than 12 hours, more instructors await the chance to push The Orracle to the limit.

A New Fan?

I looked at the computer this morning and saw my shadow (2/2 for those of you that don't get it)...looks like I can blog again.

After some requests from Paul (Mr. Baseball) to start blogging again and then today with a loose comment from my bossman about my blog, I had to come out and dust off the old keys. First of all, to the bossman, I cannot find ANY post related to work. I generally do not post about work so I think you were making it up just to get me concerned. If you are actually reading this, I am sure this post will get a mention...

So long since my last post....yet not much has changed. Same project at work...the one that does not seem to die but actually might! Rumor has it that Spiffy and I will be working together on the next one. If you remember, he is the one that likes to counterfeit money. I just hope he does not try to take me down with him. He and I have not worked directly on the same project in a while and so I am really looking forward to it.

The weather...what is to say there except IT SUCKS! I am really tired of winter. As I type this, my house is popping and creaking over by Ashlie's room. I am sure it is just the frigid temps but I am concerned about the damm ice dams. I am going to have to try to do something about those this weekend. One by my pool room is at least 10" thick. I have not been over by Ashlie's room as the snow is just too deep to get around the house.

Vacations....we love vacations. Nothing planned officially. We are thinking of taking a cruise or something around spring break which is very early for our kids this year but am waiting on a few 'things' before I can book. We have decided to plan our dream vacation though. I should make a post entirely about it....a teaser is fair though, don't you think? We are fortunate that my work travel has enriched my Hilton account with lots of points. I need some more but am in a position to do 2 full weeks at a category 7 resort. SO....we are planning to do a trip to Bora Bora and Moorea in French Polynesia. Hotel (which would be covered by points) is about $5000 per week there. If you've never seen pics, just google it. It is amazing. The trip would have us fly to Tahiti and then hop to Bora Bora. From Bora Bora, we'd fly back to Tahiti and then take a boat/ferry to Moorea as it is the next island to Tahiti. More to come on this. It could happen as soon as this fall but expect it to be the spring of 2012.

I am thinking of getting a new phone with a camera. I think having that to take a picture of something that prompts a blog in my head will help facilitate actually getting it to the page for all 3-5 of my fans.

Anyway - take care. To the boss - I hope you read this. Al - I hope you come back even though you are full blown on Facebook now. Paul....well.....this is for you I guess.

Over and out....The Orracle.

A Family Connected By A Place to Meet

Tonight, with my checking account running a bit lower than I wanted, I was hopeful that a flex medical reimbursement check would arrive. We had left work earlier than normal because Ashlie was not feeling well and we wanted to take her into the Doc if possible. We called home and Ashlie confirmed the arrival of the fat flex check. Given the traffic situation, I quickly realized that I would not make it to New Richmond and back to Stillwater before the 6 PM ATM cutoff.





Jess had a brilliant idea. ASHLIE CAN DRIVE! She can meet us there. Knowing that she'd be driving my F150 SuperCrew and her general uneasiness of driving that beast as a new driver, I figured navigating downtown Stillwater was a gamble. We needed a meeting place. What is on the WI side of the river yet near the lift bridge?





THE CAJUN CLUB!

The pic is the best I can find fast on the web. Yes, the Cajun Club is a strip joint. She called as she pulled in saying she wanted us to get there quick....this was not the best place to sit (16 and 12 year olds in truck). I had to laugh. I pulled in and she was literally parked right in the slot (no pun intended) where that car is sitting! CLASSIC!

She said she had to explain to Jake what went on in this place. He was apalled. Apparently the apple fell a little farther from the tree than normal. Then again, if not for Al, I would have never have experienced a place like that before either.

Yes, families with traditions....we have our new tradition. Anyone want to meet us in Stillwater?

Sexting

I thought of using the title just to get Al's attention. God knows it has been long enough since I last posted. I have NO good reason for that. I have been busy - but we're all busy. I have even had some things jump into my head that I really wanted to post about. Since January, I have had some more management changes at work (not that I'd post anything publicly about that...), I have taken a vacation to Puerto Rico and business travel has heated up again.

The title is real though. I heard the story where a Florida lawmaker is trying to pass the law to hold any underage person that sends a naked photo of themselves to felony level punishment.

Now, as a parent, I really don't want my kids sending naked pics of themselves anywhere. Let's just be clear about that.

Let's go back 30+ years. Did you ever "play Dr."? Did you ever "show me yours and I'll show you mine"? Some of us did, some of us did not. Was that felonious behaviour or just natural to be curious?

Go back less years....maybe you were 15, 16 or 17 when you lost your virginity. Did you blindfold each other so as to not see a minor naked? If you accidentally did see the other person naked, is that a felony? Should you turn yourself in today?

My point is pretty obvious. This is just technology being used to do what we've done all along. Again, it is not the best situation but I am not trying to suggest we should all have our kids exposing themselves. I am saying that I don't think this is a felony.

Obvious rules apply - if an adult requests it from a minor or collects them from minors - well that falls under the same rules as internet junk - and I support that. But on a level playing field - teen to teen - it is just long-distance "Doctor". Frankly, it is safer than the back seat of a car or in someone's bedroom!

You Can Call Me, er HIM Al!

The time has come to reveal the infamous Al. Featured in numerous posts - some having nothing to do with him yet getting him a "kicker" in the blog mention tally....it is time to show the world who this character is.

He of course has been awaiting this post for about a month now. Not because he was wanting to be revealed but because it is of him and his "favorite" singer for a multitude of reasons. His reviews of her CDs could be called biased. Hell, the way he gets around Kelly Willis is downright diabetic sweet.

I guess I have to admit....I was a fan. Then I saw Kelly and Bruce's Holiday Show at Gruene Hall. She is amazing and is a great singer too! Seriously, watching the two of them perform is a real treat. You can see the connection as they look at each other midsong.

Al, I'll see if I can get you the pics to you via email within the next year or so (at the pace I have been going lately).

Al and Kelly after the show

With that smile, the restraining order may have to be put back in place, Al.

Lyle with Bruce and Kelly - what a great night!

How Did I Miss It?

I figure the perfect comeback to the blog after a stern verbal thrashing from Al while listening to awesome country music in Texas would have been to post about what we saw, or didn't see last night.


Our weekend was as perfect as could be. Starting at Gruene Hall in Gruene, TX on Thursday night, we saw Buster Jiggs and Reckless Kelly. Great kickoff show!

Then, on Friday, we spent the day in Bandera, TX and capped off with a concert featuring Honeybrowne and Charlie Robison. Charlie is my favorite and did not dissapoint! A near-perfect setlist! I think I sang every word to every song. Killer tamales at Floore's Country Store in Helotes, TX as well which is where the concert was.

Then, off to Gruene again where they had their Christmas festival which as Jessica said, was like being on a movie set. From the music (brass sextet), Kowboy Kringle on horseback and the lights, it was magical. Even the weather was Christmaslike with temps in the high 30's. The show was opened by Warren Hood who was the highlight of the trip. This kid and his band, the Hoodlums are or at least should be destined for an amazing career. If commercial radio would pull their head out long enough to change, these guys would be stars. The final show was the Kelly Willis (her personal site was down) and Bruce Robison Christmas show. It was very good with lots of singles and many Christmas songs. I know why Al has spoken so highly of Kelly too....she is nothing short of a total sweatheart! WOW!

Pictures will come. I have a good one of Al with Kelly which means you all finally get to see the infamous "tag-leading" Al.

Now for the "How did I miss it?" portion.

We left the concert dodging the puke laden sidewalk and headed for our hotel in New Braunfels. Suddenly, a girl running down the MIDDLE of the road. Jess was our sober driver and said, "Was she topless?"

I tried to replay the image in my mind. Was she topless? Seriously, I give you the fact that this is something you don't see everyday but we men are trained on boobs. Fully clothed boobs grab out attention without fail so how could it have been that I missed bare boobs in the middle of the highway and MY WIFE saw it and recognized it.

We decided to follow her since it most likely indicated that she was in trouble. She was frantically trying to get into any door at the nearest hotel. We asked if she needed help and she said no. We waited in disbelief. The cops then arrived and handled it from there althouth Al and I were ready to welcome the topless lass into the vehicle to be sure she was warm. Chivalry is certainly not dead.

Stay tuned for a few pics. Thanks to Al and Sue for joining us for what was a perfect weekend of fun, food and music in San Antonio!

GPS Making Us Dumber...Or Was It The Food?

I arrived in Nashville today for a 3 night gig. For dinner I thought I would try a Food Network and B0bby Flay favorite which is normally against my rules. I generally prefer the place that the LOCALS eat at vs. the tourists and especially not chains. This was not a chain but it certainly WAS touristy.

I at at The Loveless Cafe. The main check-in area is adorned with quite possibly the most eclectic set of 8x10 celebrity pics. Some are truly celebs. Some, well - maybe not. While most are country singers with Nashville in close proximity, I found Wink Martindale's very unusual with a tic-dac-dough board in his signature.

I ordered a sampler....biscuits (their specialty) with preserves, a chicken breast, pulled pork and catfish. Add on two sides and two more biscuits with the main course and I was in a position I am not used to being in. I was at a point where I did not know if I could finish my dinner. Clean plate club member all of my life and this Southern Gem was kicking my Orracleass. I still managed to order dessert to go - could not pass up the cobbler and am hoping I can actually fathom eating when I wake up tomorrow.

Ah - the GPS thing. I realized tonight when someone in the hottub asked me how to get to The Loveless Cafe. I could not tell them. I take serious pride in being able to get ANYWHERE I have been before and if I was there recently, I could give them road by road, turn by turn directions. I know for certain that I could find Al's place right now. I might not be able to give street names but I bet I could take the correct exit on visuals and find his place very easily and I have only been there one time and it was a few years ago.

The GPS is making us stupid! I just wait for her to tell me what to do without stress of messing up because she will accomodate no matter how badly I miss the mark. Come to think of it, why wasn't there a GPS on the NWA flight that overshot MSP by 150 miles? You'd think the constant voice saying "RECALCULATING" would have prompted them to turn around...but I digress.

I guess more testing will have to be done to see if the GPS simplifying travel in strange towns is actually making my memory less effective or if it was just the fantastic, overstuffing of food that I took on tonight.

Solidarity In Coming Out Of Retirement

Some of you may have thought or may have even implied in direct contact with me that it has been a wee bit since I posted. It is not that I have had nothing to say. I think it is more that I have been traveling nonstop most of the summer since May. When hotel staff and even flight attendants recognize you, it could be a sign. If I were Garth Brooks, being recognized would be somewhat expected even though he has been retired living a wonderful life in Oklahoma since 2001.

Hold on....someone is talking into my earpiece.

What?

He did?

To perform where?

OK.....and we're back folks. This just in, Garth Brooks has announced that he is coming out of retirement to play in the Danny Gans Theatre at the Wynn Encore in Las Vegas!

Do you think he'll sing "I've got friends in Las Vegas?"

Coming out of retirement might be a little overkill. The details....well, it looks as if he'll play there 15 weekends a year. 1 show Friday, 2 on Saturday and 1 on Sunday. One of Wynn
s Private jets will provide courrier service for the father of 4 girls and husband of Trisha Yearwood.

Tickets are a full $100 more than the highest previous price of $25 that Garth charged in his life which is a shocker but I think it will be worth it for the size of a theater vs. a sports arena not to mention how much better the sound will be.

I am a little dissapointed that it is slated to be just him and his guitar with an occasional guest. Part of the Garth we love is the full blown, lights glaring, fiddle screaming stage show. Maybe he'll do that for an Encore but I digress. I imagine it will be a big, intimate sing along.

I will go. No question about that. I think Garth is fantastic and he will not give a half hearted performance. Good move Steve Wynn and welcome back Garth!

I guess that means I am back too. I am looking forward to a short trip to San Antonio to see my other favorite people in country music (besides Al...). I finally get to see Gruene Hall and get to go to Bandera, TX. Sounds like fun, huh?

The Value of Great Customer Service

Well, to open, I do realize it has been well over a month since I posted anything at all. My work schedule has had me on the road constantly. I generally do not mind and may even go so far as to say that I enjoy traveling for work but this stretch has been brutal. From May 24-mid July it was 2 out of every 3 weeks but then the last part of July and the first week of August found me in hotels 15 of 18 nights.

To post such information ahead of said schedule might entice Al to hop the first flight to MSP to make sure Jessa did not need anything....but now onto the post.

We are enroute to Disney on Saturday for our annual sojourn to see The Mouse. We found in mid July that our new Canon Rebel XS Digital SLR purchased in November was giving "error 99". Google it and you only need to get to "Canon Er" and the number one hit is correct with so many comments and posts around the web surrouding this mysterious "catch all" error.

Rather than brave a self installed firmware upgrade that if it fails voids the warranty and erases ALL memory from the camera, I brought it back to where I bought it.

Under any other circumstance, I would have bought a unit like this from Best Buy based on prices or package, etc. Back in November, National Camera Exchange had a significantly better deal.

When I brought it to them, they tried some simple remedies such as cleaning the contacts where the lens attaches, etc as it sometimes does the trick. No dice. They then said it is under warranty and proceeded to wrap it up, package it and do the warranty work for me. Still, no "Geek Squad" fee for just looking at it, nothing - only good service and advice.

Now as we depart on our trip, the camera is not back from Canon. They have me come in and write check that they will hold as a deposit and give me a brand new camera body to use on our 11 night trip. Pinch me. Is it still 2009 or have I somehow ended up in the past via the WABAC Machine with Mr. Peabody and Sherman?

In this case, they were cheaper. In the future for camera or video, I think the decision will be very easy for me on where to buy it. It won't be Best Buy. I am not suggesting that I have had a bad experience with BB on a warranty issue or service but I can guarantee that they would not give me a loaner to take for almost 2 weeks! Furthermore, this act at National Camera did not require an extended warranty but Best Buy would have certainly suggested that this level of service would require that extended warranty.

I don't know if I am ready to put a value on this experience for future purchases. I think already that this level of service would be worth at least 10% higher prices - maybe more.

WWW Plus Two

I really did not think the day would come. My Dad is not nor has no intentions to change the way he is. I do not have any issues with that. Stay true to who you are.

When my sisters and I found out he wanted a computer for his birthday, I was shocked. We snapped up a nice Dell laptop. I got it all setup with links, accounts, etc.

If you have seen the movie Men In Black, Will Smith "J" goes through a process where his entire identity is deleted all the way to his fingerprints. Every reference to him in society was deleted.

As I created email accounts, facebook accounts (yes, even my dad is on FB, Al).....I realized I was creating his online existence. Nothing about him was there before I created it. I was like Christophe in "The Truman Show". Godlike. "And on the 15th business trip to Carmel, IN, Mr. Orr's online existence was created!" OK, now I am just full of shit as usual.

Finally, an air-card service was found that has good signal in the sticks of Aitkin County. Just like that, they are online.

The challenge is talking them through the where's and what's to see and click on.

ME: Don't you see "login" at the top of the page?
THEM: Where?
ME: At the top of the page.
THEM: No.
ME: Well tell me what you see.
THEM: I see a blue bar with "http".
ME: Oh - not that far up......

You get the drift.

Still, this is a great thing in my opinion. It is not that I don't enjoy the calls from my dad to "look something up on my computer"....as if MY computer had all the world's information stored in it. I still want those calls. I just look forward to him seeing more of what is happening day to day. Sharing email. Jokes. Stuff like that.

Thanks dad for taking the step. Even if Sharon becomes your Information Secretary, I think eventually, you'll get it.

Jottings Time....

I have had so many things on my mind lately and have not found the time to blog the individually. I will try to keep them short but address a few of them here.

Making People Happy - Part Deux

First of all - a while ago, I talked about how those on the USAir flight wanted to sue and get MORE than they already received in this post. Today, a new story about how USAir had all of their belongings returned to them after having everything cleaned professionally to remove the grime and jet fuel. In my opinion - they have gone far beyond what they needed to do! These passengers need to accept that they are alive, have their belongings including diamonds, laptops and wallets returned to them.

Concert!

I had not been to a concert in a while. Not knowing if I would be traveling, I did not buy Billy and Elton tickets early. Plus, I have been lucky in getting last minute seats even on Ticketbastard. Well, last minute came and went and the Saint Paul show was still "sold out". I really wanted to go since I have only seen Billy about 6 times and the Billy/Elton F2F tour 2 times in the past. Many had tix available on Craigslist but were not budging on price which I am sure cost them in the end since many said they could not go at all and HAD to get rid of the tickets. My last dilemma was that Jess did not want to go and so I took Ashlie and her boyfriend (yes, scary for me). Few had 3 seats to sell and I did not need 4. OK, where else will they be? Madison....Ashlie had a conflict.....Omaha - pushing the limits of a road trip....Fargo....BINGO!

We decided on Fargo and got last minute seats on Ticketbastard on the side of the stage, 5th row. Just a meager $580 for 3 seats....but worth it still. Billy was a little sick but still rocked the joint. Elton's voice was as strong as I have ever heard but he just does not tear it up like Billy. Billy's "Fargo" movie references in the accent was completely lost on the people there but I sure thought it was funny as hell!

The Fargodome is bigger than I expected holding 25,000+. By the traffic and uncoordinated parking process, you'd have thought they had 200,000 going in there. What a COMPLETE joke!

State band in Eau Claire until noon....drive to Fargo...concert....home all in one loooong day!

THWARTED!

Work decided to start monitoring the web. Good idea since a trip through some areas of highly paid people yielded a show of various web pages. Abuse was certain. With the monitoring, blocking has also started to the high traffic suspects like BLOGGER, Facebook, YouTube, and streaming sources. So far, Sirius is up for me still. I hope they do not block it. I know our Pres streams XM so fair is fair, right? Don't count on it!

It is too bad that it has reached this level. I know I have never been caught on the net, right Al?

WEATHER

Only in Minnesota. I live in Wisconsin...yes - but for all practical purposes, I am a Minnesotan still. I just live in a WI town that is convenient to MN for work.

No, this is not a global warming rant - although it could be. Saturday we went to the school bus races / crashes at Cedar Lake Speedway....a good time! When we left there it was 41 with frost possible. Today, it was 97. It was 100 in Granite Falls, west of the Twin Cities but just 34 in Grand Marais on Lake Superior. I find that amazing that there is such a variance in towns 260 miles apart (Saint Paul to Grand Marais).

Planning for the weather has been made an "Inconvenient Pattern"....gotta be Al Gore's fault.

TRAVEL

I need to say goodbye to the area for a while I guess. I am currently scheduled for next week in Indiana, the week after in Indiana, one week off (possibly changed to....yep....Indiana) the 4 weeks straight with 2 in Bensalem (Philly area) and 2 in Dallas. The Dallas meetings might get moved to none other than....Indiana or even to MSP which would alleviate those two weeks of travel.

GOOD TRAVEL

Yep, another vacation is planned. Gotta do the late summer Disney run for the free dining. Too good to pass up although it is really getting in the way of our "every 2 years" plan with this being our 3rd trip in 14 months to WDW (2 personal and 1 marching band whirlwind).

We made our Advance Dining Reservations (ADRs) today which means we are 90 days out! It really brings out the little kid in me. I just love that place. It will be my Wal-Mart when I retire. I can hand out strollers instead of carts.

I think that sums it up for the Orracle's life! I know I had more pressing, grinding, under-the-skin issues that have crossed my mind in the last few weeks but they are gone so we'll leave it at this for now.

Now Here's A Guy Who Decided To Retire...

John Madden. A legend. Maybe for only being the guy that was out there to state the obvious.

"If this team wants to win, they're gonna have to outscore their opponent".

"If your arm gets hit, the ball will not go where you want it to."

"“Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”

That is the fun guy that we all know and comedians make fun of.

The real John Madden was a guy that did things his way. Kind of like Steve Cannon in my last post. John hated flying so he got a big motorhome and traveled in style. He was his own man, his own style.

This made me begin to think about the pop culture we have today. Legends keep retiring and / or dying. How will we replace them?

John Madden. Howard Cosell (a while ago but still applies), Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Paul Harvey, The Rat Pack, Garth Brooks (OK, that was only there for Al).

Who is original today? Apparently nobody because we are forced to allow their children to replace them. Paul Harvey's son even tries to put the same inflection on the words as his dad. Kenny Albert is a loser version of his father. Joe Buck is NOTHING compared to his father Jack.

What gives them the right to become the next guy? Talent? No way in hell. It is their name and the fact that there is nobody original left in entertainment, sports or comedy today. Music is diluted crap. Everyone uses the same beat, same lyrics and same voice treatments as the guy before.

Sports announcers are just has beens in the game without any talent for actual announcing.

We are so washed out by the big guns that we don't allow anything unusual or new today. If Madden was just starting today, would he get the gig? Would Paul Harvey get a job doing Newsss if he auditioned today? I bet no to both. We are 233 years old as a country and have run out of ideas for creativity. It was a good run I guess.

I Need Some New Websites....

My weblife has become routine, predictable and somewhat boring. I am in a rut! How many MILLION websites are there and I hit the same handful without any idea where to go next?

My Staples...

• Startribune.com or wcco.com for the local news
• Woot.com to see what the deal of the day is
• Facebook.com - many times a day for updates and to see who might be out there now only to be dissapointed that Al has not joined yet
• Yahoo mail - I get lots of travel emails there.
• Sirius.com (on workdays) to listen to Howard

Most of the time...

• USATODAY.com - I always like to see what McPaper has going on - especially the travel section
• CNN.com - no idea why - kind of a last resort to find something interesting
• videopoker.com - this goes in spurts like recently for the tournament that was held. I like this site - great videopoker. I pay the $5 a month to get access to all of the functionality
• EVERY SUNDAY - www.postsecret.blogspot.com - this is good but only once a week
• YouTube just to try to find something entertaining

That is about it! I might hit Tripadvisor.com when planning a trip but other than that, I can never think of where to go next.

I need for you, my readers to be the Viagra to my Weblife and spice it up for me! Show me what I have been missing (closed circuit to The Rube - I don't mean porn sites!!).

The End Is Coming and I Could Not Be Happier!

At first glance, one might assume this will be my inauguation blog....how Obama won't change much, how it is a false sense of hope. No, I am gonna let that one cook. My benchmar has been set as I received my 401K statement for July 1-December 31 today and it was only down 30.1%. That is the benchmark I will use to evaluate change.

This post is about radio. Today, Clear Channel cut their workforce by 9% nationwide including some semi-popular talk show hosts and inconsequential jocks at Kool 108 and other stations. The fact that they cut from multiple stations in one town is part of the problem. Any given company should only be allowed one AM and one FM station in a market. But I digress.

This is not about the Chad Hartmans or Doogies or any other half-assed radio personality. The cuts came at WCCO, the juggernaut and at KSTP AM recently. You see, local commercial filled radio is dying. Talk still has some edge but the music side is REALLY dying.

Stations locally like KQRS which advertises "their vault of albums" only plays about .0029% of it. According to them, the Eagles only recorded Witchy Woman and Hotel California. Don't get me started on the copycat morning show idiots such as Tom Barnyard. I am pretty sure his following includes a long list of people without any other exposure to other forms of entertainment and they are convinced HE is it. HE...is a fraud along with every other yuckster on his show.

Yes, the end is coming. It is time for everyone to realize it and make the move to satellite radio. Want top 40 (repeated over and over)? Channel 1. Want 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s deep cuts (seriously deep cuts), alternative country, songs like the Rodeo Song (unedited)? Go to satellite. Want sports? They are all there. Want sports talk, left wing talk, right wing talk, CNN, MSNBC, Gay talk or Oprah (please don't say yes to Oprah Al) - it is there too. Want comedy, playboy talk, or the original, King of all Media Howard Stern? That is there too.

I cannot feel bad for the locals. As the conglomerates continued to buy up every station in every major market, the quality went exponentially downward. I won't even rent a car without satellite anymore.

Good bye Clear Channel, AM/FM inc and all of you other giant medium killers.
Rodger Wilcox....Over and Out.

Freshly Blown, Flown and Poked!

Stormy sent me an email pointing out that the cruise has been over for a long time and insinuated that I have not posted much. She was right. In thinking about a title for this post, I think I nailed it!

Now before you all jump to conclusions, you better read on!

I had to go to Indiana last week one more time this year. That, believe it or not is NOT the flown part. It does have relevance to the story. Bored out of my mind, I went for a drive since I had a car this time by myself (usually we rent together which ties you down more). I found a casino named Indiana Live! Casino. It is actally more of a circus tent until their new, permanent building is done. Still, it was nice. I played some video poker and somewhere in the second $20, I hit a royal flush for $1000 followed by countless quads (four of a kinds). I left the machine up a ton and went to get a burger. Enroute, I played a dollar slot, something the Orracle rarely does and hit another $720.00.

I did proceed to spend back around $800.00 of my winnings playing dollar video poker which is something I have wanted to do but could not because of the steep $5 per play cost. I felt like a whale! I left up $1200 which was less than I could have but I had a great time so no regrets.

Upon getting back home, I decided to buy a snowblower. I have wanted one for 15 years and somehow end up not getting one. Nothing fancy - 2 stage, 6 HP, MTD brand....nice enough. Needless to say, I love it. I have used it 2 times. I think the neighbors are expecting me to blow the entire yard out eventually! I have a wide path for the mailman (even if he is an old, crotchety bastard), paths around every tree and shrubbery for the dogs to run on, and have blown out a major opening to every sidewalk and fire hydrant. I LOVE....that thing.

Then for Christmas, I received Flight Simulator X. I have not had FS since they still had the program on 3.5" disks and I loved it then. I can tell you that having not flown on FS in a long time, not reading many directions and jumping immediately into a 747, I have flown 4 flights and there have been NO survivors. I made it almost out of the metro on my last flight though- so I must be improving. I really need to buy a good joystick to handle the planes better.

Today, I slept in after staying up with the kids until almost 3. I love watching them have fun with their new games and other presents. I slept until 1, cooked a major breakfast complete with Vennie Sausage, eggs, hashbrowns and the secret onion/portabella concoction for over the egg. WOW! Other than that, I have been playing VP on video poker.com which is really fun and costs NOTHING compared to the real casinos which rarely offer up those beautiful royals like I found in Indianapolis!

That is it! I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I hope all is well with everyone as we close out the 2008 and move to 2009.

Closed circuit to Al - I ran into Stacy Voracek in the mall last week (she was Kirt's admin that Crazy Roger fired). She said to tell you hello and that she still listens to Charlie Robison!

Until next time,
The Ho Ho Horracle!

What is the Delta Between NWA and the New NWA?

Today was my first ever flight on Delta. I actually said to the attendant that checked our bags that it was my first flight on the "New NWA". She very quickly scolded me with "NOT EVEN CLOSE!". Apparently Delta employees are convinced they have a far superior product.

So how was my first experience? Not great.

The inbound flight from ATL was late. The pilot told us that there was a major headwind that made the inbound late but I know from watching the flight on www.flightaware.com that it simply left ATL late. Strike 1.

We made up a little time and had plenty of time for our connection. That is until we landed. No gates. We sat for over 1 hour on the tarmac waiting for a gate. I have never had the pilot open the door, shut off the engines and say "feel free to move about the cabin....we're on an active taxiway but we're not going anywhere soon". HOLY SHIT! He was not lying. The issue is that with it being a hub and so many flights terminating there with the holiday, there were no outbounds to open gates. The old addage, "A lack of planning on your part should not constitute an extra hour + on the tarmac for me!". Could someone not have figured this out before today? Strike 2.

We then hiked it through ATL to gate B30 like their website told my blackberry. Nope, that is Chicago bound. We needed gate A30. Long hike again, take a train, long hike again. No moving sidewalks, etc to get from a-z quicker at ATL. Strike 3.

Fortunately, the flight to San Juan also was late getting into the gate so despite the fact that we deplaned our first leg 10 minutes after the scheduled departure of our second, we made the flight. The gate attendant was telling everyone that wanted seats together that the back was oversold. I said I was elite and asked how many seats were open in first. She said 7. I offered our coach seats that were together for her to use for a family if we could get upgraded. She nearly bit my head off! Beeeotch! I am sure she hated life for working on Thanksgiving and having all of the flight issues piling up but I was trying to help. A polite "no" would have done OK. Strike 3 1/2 (1/2 point since we still made our flight).

Then, I had to force down a Diet Coke. Just a cup too....not a whole can like NWA gives. On a 3 1/2 hour flight, I think I can handle a can. Strike 4 1/2.

Lastly, for everyone in Minneapolis that posts comments about "Northworst" having dirty planes, bad service, etc. Delta was no cleaner. Same peanuts on the floor as NWA. I had rude service at the gate. The flight attendants did seem to work a little harder even after the beverage service. Still, you have to pay for everything extra on Delta which we were forced to do with no chance to eat between flights. The Delta movie was on old TVs that probably would have been more in-focus had I taken my contacts out. All in all, I don't see the angst against NWA. My flights are almost always on time. The planes are good and safe. I might not have a movie but whatever.

I know Al will have some constructive criticism. I don't mind the merger. I just hope I don't have to get routed through ATL for more flights after the merger is done. I don't see it as a happy place to travel through.

From humid San Juan....goodnight!

SAT Question of the Day

Alright - time to put your thinking caps on. This is your SAT question of the day. Educational AND informative!! No thanks are necessary, I am just here to serve you.

Here it goes.

Northwest Airlines is to Pepsi as Delta is to _____________.

Maybe that is a little too challenging. Let's add some visuals....

IS TO

As......

IS TO......

Yep! You heard it here first. Well, Al probably KNEW this was coming since he is a "Delta from Salt Lake City" guy. A flight attendant told the guy next to me this when he asked for a Diet Coke. I have to say, I am a Pepsi guy. I am dissapointed that I cannot get a Diet Pepsi for very much longer on NWA (now a part of Delta as the flight attendants say).

There could be an upside to this. Perhaps some of those old, jaded, crusty flight attendants on NWA will have a Coke (and finally) a smile!

Flatline....

All the last week plus, I have had items drifting into my mind that I wanted to post. Sitting in the deer stand (no, Al, I was not a Bambi Killer this year)...driving to and from my dad's....flying today to Richmond. And then....I sit here looking at a blank screen. I cannot remember anything.

What the hell is wrong with me? Certainly something must be bothering me. Something must have sparked my interest enough to post about it.

I KNOW there was something I wanted to post. I am pretty sure it had to do with something Al would relate to. But it is gone. Welcome to old age Lyle....oops, I revealed my true name....take 2....Welcome to old age Orracle.

I guess I will just move on. I will go to my meetings tomorrow. Perhaps then I will have that spark back to come to my room and post the post that everyone has been waiting for. Yep. It's coming. I can feel it.

NO?

No surgery. How can that be? Is this doc a crackpot? How can the doc in 2002 be so adamant about it and I went AMA only to have it bleed out in September this year but this doc says I do not need surgery? It's not that I want the surgery. Frankly, I am a chicken shit and it really cramps my schedule.



Well, here is the deal. He saw the mastoiditis although he said it is not the whole mastoid. He thinks a little prednisone and more antibiotic (my gut it gonna be eaten away) should take care of it for now. He does want to see me in two weeks to be 100% sure, but at this point, he thinks we stay away from the knife. The best part of the visit was that Jessa got to witness deep ear suctioning for the first time. The look on my face combined with the sound and the fact that I plugged the suction tip 2 times!!! Having it done really sucks, literally, but I am used to it after having it done so many times in my life.

This just in....Rube Nation Tries a Honeycrisp....

This one day, The Rube calls me. He is shocked at how much the Honeycrisps were on his grocery bill. At this point, still no word on whether he likes them or not. The offer still stands to buy them from you at 1/2 price.

Looks like there is hope to go to Saskatoon yet!

I was reading a story on Lorrie Morgan having just filed bankruptcy to "reorganize her company". Turns out she is broke. What part of "do not spend more than you have" don't you understand Lorrie? I guess when she sang "Something in Red", she was talking about her bottom line. She says she needs to reorganize her company after her recent divorce from Sammy Kershaw. Don't Go Near The IRS Man, Sammy....don't worry about the water! The best part is that this is ex-hubby #5 for Morgan. Al is only through 2. That means we can have a wedding for Al in Saskatoon, then #4 in Moose Jaw and #5 in Winnipeg just to be different and experience a different province. Of course, all divorce celebrations to be held in Vegas.

Prior to being sidetracked on Al's future weddings, I thought about this a little deeper. Lorrie's "company" needs to be reorganized. Company? Look, your music stopped selling. The reorganization needs to be an effort to find a new line of work! In the sprirt of this though, I had a band once with some friends. I'd like to reorganize and try again. To offset my wage loss while I work on this little project, I will just file bankruptcy to protect my assets. Great plan!