My Nemesis

Each year, I have this relationship with a man. No, not that kind of relationship, not that there is anything wrong with that (copyright Seinfeld). This relationship starts in the autumn. There comes that night, maybe on a drive or just out with the dogs for one last time where I spot him. Orion...the constellation. I see him and I know any seemingly tolerable weather is about to be lost to him and his time in the sky. Still, he is low in the sky and I am still not too angry with him.

Then the brutal force of winter sets in. Orion sits high in the sky. Taunting me. Not caring if I hate his guts for the onslaught of frigid temps and feet of snow he has brought our way. There is nothing I can do but wish I had my own bow and arrow that would reach him and blow him from the sky.

Tonight I am in Key Largo, FL. I stood on my balcony and looked out over the water. I saw my friend. He is starting to dip lower in the sky. I thought it could be my imagination since the weather here is a bit nicer than at home but I knew that even in the frozen tundra, he is losing his grip and position in the sky. Slowly, the Earth pushes him back down to the horizon, for the other half of the planet to begin seeing. Maybe he is hated somewhere in that hemisphere as well.

For now, I will watch him slipping downward while my thermometer inches upward. By June, I will have forgotten about him. Then fall will come, all too soon and he will peek at me again. Pissing me off because I know that summer and fall are about to be whitewashed away.

The Waffle House

As most of you know, I am anti (cr)apple. Therefore, no iPhone. On the same lineage, I was feeling the same towards the whole smart phone revolution. I admired my co-workers HTCs and Driods. I listen to Howard Stern talk about his change recently and loving it.

I just do not see the value of paying $30 a month to have internet between the places that you have internet. Same goes with texting. It is becoming the blight of our country first with kids/teens and now with the parents too. If Darwin has it right with the evolution bit, we'll be a species that cannot talk within 20 years.

What's with the title you say....

Well, Jessica's phone really was a piece of crap. She'd get an alert to voicemail and they would be over a week old. Some calls would not even ring through to her. Basically, it was time to replace the phone.

Into the T-Mobile store I go. I ask for the phones that do not require data plans. My salesperson, Leah, points me to all 6 crusty old phones in the corner. The conversation goes through the paces where I explain how we really do not need touch screens or data plans but I humor her and tell her to sell it to me.

Inside of 15 minutes, she has me ready to come in this weekend for the big 'free phone 4G event'. All phones (with contract extension) are free - even the HTC MyTouch 4G. But I was still waivering on assuming an additional $30 or worse yet $60 a month for data plans if I included Ashlie. She checks my account, nearly falls over having not seen anyone that had been a customer of T-Mobile as long as I (count time with Arial Communications and Voicestream).

She explains that with the texting I have on Ashlie's phone plus the amount I am paying for Jessica's ad-hoc texts, if I would change to their new promo-plan with the same minutes and cost as the plan I am on, the data plan drops to $20 per line and ends up being a net increase of about $20 a month. Now who cannot afford that? Add in the benefits of GPS to two women in my family that have challenges getting from Hudson to New Richmond. Add in the fun things like the bar-code scanners, video, good pics, etc. SOLD!

I brought Jess and Ashlie by last night to pick their phones. Thinking it might be pretty busy tonight, I stopped this AM and waited amost an hour to get 2 new smart phones (that I would NEVER own, right?).

The story is cute that I waffled....sure. I think what made me the most happy was to see a line for phones that were not filled with iPeople looking for iPhones and that these phones are 4G and (cr)apple is just 3G and we have flash support and so on and so on.

The biggest question is: Should I have bought one for The Orracle too?

A New Fan?

I looked at the computer this morning and saw my shadow (2/2 for those of you that don't get it)...looks like I can blog again.

After some requests from Paul (Mr. Baseball) to start blogging again and then today with a loose comment from my bossman about my blog, I had to come out and dust off the old keys. First of all, to the bossman, I cannot find ANY post related to work. I generally do not post about work so I think you were making it up just to get me concerned. If you are actually reading this, I am sure this post will get a mention...

So long since my last post....yet not much has changed. Same project at work...the one that does not seem to die but actually might! Rumor has it that Spiffy and I will be working together on the next one. If you remember, he is the one that likes to counterfeit money. I just hope he does not try to take me down with him. He and I have not worked directly on the same project in a while and so I am really looking forward to it.

The weather...what is to say there except IT SUCKS! I am really tired of winter. As I type this, my house is popping and creaking over by Ashlie's room. I am sure it is just the frigid temps but I am concerned about the damm ice dams. I am going to have to try to do something about those this weekend. One by my pool room is at least 10" thick. I have not been over by Ashlie's room as the snow is just too deep to get around the house.

Vacations....we love vacations. Nothing planned officially. We are thinking of taking a cruise or something around spring break which is very early for our kids this year but am waiting on a few 'things' before I can book. We have decided to plan our dream vacation though. I should make a post entirely about it....a teaser is fair though, don't you think? We are fortunate that my work travel has enriched my Hilton account with lots of points. I need some more but am in a position to do 2 full weeks at a category 7 resort. SO....we are planning to do a trip to Bora Bora and Moorea in French Polynesia. Hotel (which would be covered by points) is about $5000 per week there. If you've never seen pics, just google it. It is amazing. The trip would have us fly to Tahiti and then hop to Bora Bora. From Bora Bora, we'd fly back to Tahiti and then take a boat/ferry to Moorea as it is the next island to Tahiti. More to come on this. It could happen as soon as this fall but expect it to be the spring of 2012.

I am thinking of getting a new phone with a camera. I think having that to take a picture of something that prompts a blog in my head will help facilitate actually getting it to the page for all 3-5 of my fans.

Anyway - take care. To the boss - I hope you read this. Al - I hope you come back even though you are full blown on Facebook now. Paul....well.....this is for you I guess.

Over and out....The Orracle.

More Proof that (cr)Apple is Evil

Excerpt below lifted from a CNN.com story on the first Apple created, the Apple I. Originally sold for how much? That's right, the price of The Dark One, Lucifer himself. $666.66.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/innovation/11/12/apple.computer.auction/index.html?hpt=C2

Of course in normal Apple fashion, it will sell to some Lemming for an unrealistic price, currently projected to be in the $160,000 range.

You can't make this stuff up!

The Rule

DECLARATION

Let it hereby be declared an official rule, throughout the land that no Christmas tree or decoration of any kind may be put up until after Lyle Orr's birthday.

Time For A New Amendment!

It is time for our country to adopt a new right to add to our bill of rights.

"Owning a hybrid car of any size or shape does not grant special rights"

At work, there is a new sign near the front of the lot even closer than the handicap spaces that says, "Fuel Efficient Vehicle Parking Only".

Perhaps my amendment is wrong...let me explain.

A friend of mine from work decided last year to take advantage of the "trade your gas guzzler" promotion and bought the 2nd most fuel efficient Chevy available. He decided to park in the new spots. He was informed that it is for Hybrid vehicles only. Ahem....the sign does not say that!!

While I am very opposed to any special treatment for vehicles or car owners of any type (except handicapped individuals), I am more maddened by the position of superiority taken by these hybrid owners. Where will they be parking when we realize the decomposing batteries are more of a hazard than our fuel burners to the environment? But I digress...

I think my buddy has every right to park there so long as the signs say what they say. In theory, I could buy a hybrid Escalade (22 city/21 hwy) and park in the special spots when he cannot in his Malibu (22 city/30 hwy) which as you see does as good in the city but way better on the highway in mileage.

Better yet, I think I will go out and buy a hybrid decal for my 2001 F150 Supercrew (13 city/16 hwy) and park there. That might be the best idea yet!

The bottom line is that if you have a hybrid, you should be energy conscious enough to want to park as close to the exit as possible. That is where those people should park. Those of us with trucks need to park close, driving as much as possible since we obviously do not care and therefore are of a lower class. Let us park up front and make an example of us. Maybe we'll change our ways and go buy a hybrid or a stupid car. Then again....probably not.

A Family Connected By A Place to Meet

Tonight, with my checking account running a bit lower than I wanted, I was hopeful that a flex medical reimbursement check would arrive. We had left work earlier than normal because Ashlie was not feeling well and we wanted to take her into the Doc if possible. We called home and Ashlie confirmed the arrival of the fat flex check. Given the traffic situation, I quickly realized that I would not make it to New Richmond and back to Stillwater before the 6 PM ATM cutoff.





Jess had a brilliant idea. ASHLIE CAN DRIVE! She can meet us there. Knowing that she'd be driving my F150 SuperCrew and her general uneasiness of driving that beast as a new driver, I figured navigating downtown Stillwater was a gamble. We needed a meeting place. What is on the WI side of the river yet near the lift bridge?





THE CAJUN CLUB!

The pic is the best I can find fast on the web. Yes, the Cajun Club is a strip joint. She called as she pulled in saying she wanted us to get there quick....this was not the best place to sit (16 and 12 year olds in truck). I had to laugh. I pulled in and she was literally parked right in the slot (no pun intended) where that car is sitting! CLASSIC!

She said she had to explain to Jake what went on in this place. He was apalled. Apparently the apple fell a little farther from the tree than normal. Then again, if not for Al, I would have never have experienced a place like that before either.

Yes, families with traditions....we have our new tradition. Anyone want to meet us in Stillwater?

The Orracle is HIGH!

I am posting from 39,000 feet. Flight 2692 from PHX to MSP. First time I have ever used the Gogo inflight and I am actually impressed. It is better than some hotels I have stayed at for speed.

It made me realize something that I think of posting after every flight but forget.

Why the hell am I always behind Mr. Recline All The Frigging Way? It is tight enough for skinny assed people but for me it is just a pain in the butt. Even in First Class where the pitch is much better, it blows.

When I see someone reclining, my eyes go to the person behind them to see their reaction. Bottom line, nobody likes it....even the skinny people.

That's all I have to say. I just had to get it off of my chest and since I was online....DONE!

From 39,000 feet, just south of the South Dakota border (according to www.flightaware.com) this is the Orracle, getting ready for landing.

Newest Bunch of BS

At work, Spiffy and I were coming back from lunch in my truck. My F-150 Supercrew, 5.4L Triton V8 with 222,000 miles on it. The truck facts have NOTHING to do with the story but it is impressive nonetheless.

He asked if I had seen the new parking signs up front for "Fuel Efficient Vehicles Only".

WTF? Are we serious?

I am OK with front parking for pregnant ladies.....take out at restaurants, etc. But fuel efficient vehicles? Is this a new class system we have? What is next? Daughters cannot marry a man because he drives a non fuel efficient truck?

The word that comes to mind when I think of stupid BS like this does rhyme with truck.

The way I see it, they should put the fuel efficient spots near the back of the lot. People like me need the front spots saved for us because if we do not find a close spot right away, we drive around until we find one which further creates emissions and wasted fuel. My carbon footprint only grows because of their hasty decision to play favorites to the wind-up cars.

We'll see who is the favorite in 20 years when my truck has been 100% recylcled and their batteries are polluting the landfills. From then on, it is front row....movie star parking for me and my truck!

Now That Is Good Advice....

In the movie "A League of Their Own", Jimmy Dugan played by Tom Hanks is a washed up, knees shot and drunk ex baseball player. When coaching the girls team, he signs a ball for a kid with, "Avoid the clap....Jimmy Dugan".

When the kid does not appreciate that on the ball Jimmy yells, "That's good advice!".

Today, someone close to me that happens to work at the same company was in a meeting that did not go well. In spite of my introduction to this post, she did not suggest that any co-worker or client avoid the clap although it truly is sound advice. She did send me a note about the meeting with these very simple tips to keep in mind when you meet with a client....a client that is VERY prepared without exception:

Easy rules to remember for a successful client meeting:
1. Know your shit.
2. Know your dates.
3. It’s okay to say “I’ll need to check on that for you.”
4. Silence is considered an affirmation of the negative. Never stay quiet when asked a question by an aggressor.
5. Take notes and do what you say you will do right away.


Once again, The Orracle (and a certain someone), providing sound advice for all of you, my faithful readers to absorb and utilize.

Sexting

I thought of using the title just to get Al's attention. God knows it has been long enough since I last posted. I have NO good reason for that. I have been busy - but we're all busy. I have even had some things jump into my head that I really wanted to post about. Since January, I have had some more management changes at work (not that I'd post anything publicly about that...), I have taken a vacation to Puerto Rico and business travel has heated up again.

The title is real though. I heard the story where a Florida lawmaker is trying to pass the law to hold any underage person that sends a naked photo of themselves to felony level punishment.

Now, as a parent, I really don't want my kids sending naked pics of themselves anywhere. Let's just be clear about that.

Let's go back 30+ years. Did you ever "play Dr."? Did you ever "show me yours and I'll show you mine"? Some of us did, some of us did not. Was that felonious behaviour or just natural to be curious?

Go back less years....maybe you were 15, 16 or 17 when you lost your virginity. Did you blindfold each other so as to not see a minor naked? If you accidentally did see the other person naked, is that a felony? Should you turn yourself in today?

My point is pretty obvious. This is just technology being used to do what we've done all along. Again, it is not the best situation but I am not trying to suggest we should all have our kids exposing themselves. I am saying that I don't think this is a felony.

Obvious rules apply - if an adult requests it from a minor or collects them from minors - well that falls under the same rules as internet junk - and I support that. But on a level playing field - teen to teen - it is just long-distance "Doctor". Frankly, it is safer than the back seat of a car or in someone's bedroom!

You Can Call Me, er HIM Al!

The time has come to reveal the infamous Al. Featured in numerous posts - some having nothing to do with him yet getting him a "kicker" in the blog mention tally....it is time to show the world who this character is.

He of course has been awaiting this post for about a month now. Not because he was wanting to be revealed but because it is of him and his "favorite" singer for a multitude of reasons. His reviews of her CDs could be called biased. Hell, the way he gets around Kelly Willis is downright diabetic sweet.

I guess I have to admit....I was a fan. Then I saw Kelly and Bruce's Holiday Show at Gruene Hall. She is amazing and is a great singer too! Seriously, watching the two of them perform is a real treat. You can see the connection as they look at each other midsong.

Al, I'll see if I can get you the pics to you via email within the next year or so (at the pace I have been going lately).

Al and Kelly after the show

With that smile, the restraining order may have to be put back in place, Al.

Lyle with Bruce and Kelly - what a great night!

How Did I Miss It?

I figure the perfect comeback to the blog after a stern verbal thrashing from Al while listening to awesome country music in Texas would have been to post about what we saw, or didn't see last night.


Our weekend was as perfect as could be. Starting at Gruene Hall in Gruene, TX on Thursday night, we saw Buster Jiggs and Reckless Kelly. Great kickoff show!

Then, on Friday, we spent the day in Bandera, TX and capped off with a concert featuring Honeybrowne and Charlie Robison. Charlie is my favorite and did not dissapoint! A near-perfect setlist! I think I sang every word to every song. Killer tamales at Floore's Country Store in Helotes, TX as well which is where the concert was.

Then, off to Gruene again where they had their Christmas festival which as Jessica said, was like being on a movie set. From the music (brass sextet), Kowboy Kringle on horseback and the lights, it was magical. Even the weather was Christmaslike with temps in the high 30's. The show was opened by Warren Hood who was the highlight of the trip. This kid and his band, the Hoodlums are or at least should be destined for an amazing career. If commercial radio would pull their head out long enough to change, these guys would be stars. The final show was the Kelly Willis (her personal site was down) and Bruce Robison Christmas show. It was very good with lots of singles and many Christmas songs. I know why Al has spoken so highly of Kelly too....she is nothing short of a total sweatheart! WOW!

Pictures will come. I have a good one of Al with Kelly which means you all finally get to see the infamous "tag-leading" Al.

Now for the "How did I miss it?" portion.

We left the concert dodging the puke laden sidewalk and headed for our hotel in New Braunfels. Suddenly, a girl running down the MIDDLE of the road. Jess was our sober driver and said, "Was she topless?"

I tried to replay the image in my mind. Was she topless? Seriously, I give you the fact that this is something you don't see everyday but we men are trained on boobs. Fully clothed boobs grab out attention without fail so how could it have been that I missed bare boobs in the middle of the highway and MY WIFE saw it and recognized it.

We decided to follow her since it most likely indicated that she was in trouble. She was frantically trying to get into any door at the nearest hotel. We asked if she needed help and she said no. We waited in disbelief. The cops then arrived and handled it from there althouth Al and I were ready to welcome the topless lass into the vehicle to be sure she was warm. Chivalry is certainly not dead.

Stay tuned for a few pics. Thanks to Al and Sue for joining us for what was a perfect weekend of fun, food and music in San Antonio!

GPS Making Us Dumber...Or Was It The Food?

I arrived in Nashville today for a 3 night gig. For dinner I thought I would try a Food Network and B0bby Flay favorite which is normally against my rules. I generally prefer the place that the LOCALS eat at vs. the tourists and especially not chains. This was not a chain but it certainly WAS touristy.

I at at The Loveless Cafe. The main check-in area is adorned with quite possibly the most eclectic set of 8x10 celebrity pics. Some are truly celebs. Some, well - maybe not. While most are country singers with Nashville in close proximity, I found Wink Martindale's very unusual with a tic-dac-dough board in his signature.

I ordered a sampler....biscuits (their specialty) with preserves, a chicken breast, pulled pork and catfish. Add on two sides and two more biscuits with the main course and I was in a position I am not used to being in. I was at a point where I did not know if I could finish my dinner. Clean plate club member all of my life and this Southern Gem was kicking my Orracleass. I still managed to order dessert to go - could not pass up the cobbler and am hoping I can actually fathom eating when I wake up tomorrow.

Ah - the GPS thing. I realized tonight when someone in the hottub asked me how to get to The Loveless Cafe. I could not tell them. I take serious pride in being able to get ANYWHERE I have been before and if I was there recently, I could give them road by road, turn by turn directions. I know for certain that I could find Al's place right now. I might not be able to give street names but I bet I could take the correct exit on visuals and find his place very easily and I have only been there one time and it was a few years ago.

The GPS is making us stupid! I just wait for her to tell me what to do without stress of messing up because she will accomodate no matter how badly I miss the mark. Come to think of it, why wasn't there a GPS on the NWA flight that overshot MSP by 150 miles? You'd think the constant voice saying "RECALCULATING" would have prompted them to turn around...but I digress.

I guess more testing will have to be done to see if the GPS simplifying travel in strange towns is actually making my memory less effective or if it was just the fantastic, overstuffing of food that I took on tonight.

Solidarity In Coming Out Of Retirement

Some of you may have thought or may have even implied in direct contact with me that it has been a wee bit since I posted. It is not that I have had nothing to say. I think it is more that I have been traveling nonstop most of the summer since May. When hotel staff and even flight attendants recognize you, it could be a sign. If I were Garth Brooks, being recognized would be somewhat expected even though he has been retired living a wonderful life in Oklahoma since 2001.

Hold on....someone is talking into my earpiece.

What?

He did?

To perform where?

OK.....and we're back folks. This just in, Garth Brooks has announced that he is coming out of retirement to play in the Danny Gans Theatre at the Wynn Encore in Las Vegas!

Do you think he'll sing "I've got friends in Las Vegas?"

Coming out of retirement might be a little overkill. The details....well, it looks as if he'll play there 15 weekends a year. 1 show Friday, 2 on Saturday and 1 on Sunday. One of Wynn
s Private jets will provide courrier service for the father of 4 girls and husband of Trisha Yearwood.

Tickets are a full $100 more than the highest previous price of $25 that Garth charged in his life which is a shocker but I think it will be worth it for the size of a theater vs. a sports arena not to mention how much better the sound will be.

I am a little dissapointed that it is slated to be just him and his guitar with an occasional guest. Part of the Garth we love is the full blown, lights glaring, fiddle screaming stage show. Maybe he'll do that for an Encore but I digress. I imagine it will be a big, intimate sing along.

I will go. No question about that. I think Garth is fantastic and he will not give a half hearted performance. Good move Steve Wynn and welcome back Garth!

I guess that means I am back too. I am looking forward to a short trip to San Antonio to see my other favorite people in country music (besides Al...). I finally get to see Gruene Hall and get to go to Bandera, TX. Sounds like fun, huh?

The Value of Great Customer Service

Well, to open, I do realize it has been well over a month since I posted anything at all. My work schedule has had me on the road constantly. I generally do not mind and may even go so far as to say that I enjoy traveling for work but this stretch has been brutal. From May 24-mid July it was 2 out of every 3 weeks but then the last part of July and the first week of August found me in hotels 15 of 18 nights.

To post such information ahead of said schedule might entice Al to hop the first flight to MSP to make sure Jessa did not need anything....but now onto the post.

We are enroute to Disney on Saturday for our annual sojourn to see The Mouse. We found in mid July that our new Canon Rebel XS Digital SLR purchased in November was giving "error 99". Google it and you only need to get to "Canon Er" and the number one hit is correct with so many comments and posts around the web surrouding this mysterious "catch all" error.

Rather than brave a self installed firmware upgrade that if it fails voids the warranty and erases ALL memory from the camera, I brought it back to where I bought it.

Under any other circumstance, I would have bought a unit like this from Best Buy based on prices or package, etc. Back in November, National Camera Exchange had a significantly better deal.

When I brought it to them, they tried some simple remedies such as cleaning the contacts where the lens attaches, etc as it sometimes does the trick. No dice. They then said it is under warranty and proceeded to wrap it up, package it and do the warranty work for me. Still, no "Geek Squad" fee for just looking at it, nothing - only good service and advice.

Now as we depart on our trip, the camera is not back from Canon. They have me come in and write check that they will hold as a deposit and give me a brand new camera body to use on our 11 night trip. Pinch me. Is it still 2009 or have I somehow ended up in the past via the WABAC Machine with Mr. Peabody and Sherman?

In this case, they were cheaper. In the future for camera or video, I think the decision will be very easy for me on where to buy it. It won't be Best Buy. I am not suggesting that I have had a bad experience with BB on a warranty issue or service but I can guarantee that they would not give me a loaner to take for almost 2 weeks! Furthermore, this act at National Camera did not require an extended warranty but Best Buy would have certainly suggested that this level of service would require that extended warranty.

I don't know if I am ready to put a value on this experience for future purchases. I think already that this level of service would be worth at least 10% higher prices - maybe more.

RIP MJ! We Are The World Thinking of You Today

What is more to say than this song? Michael was one of a kind. Disagree with his choices along the allegations late in his life but nobody can dispute the pop icon that he was. It is too hard to pick a single song so I thought We Are The World would be the perfect alternate. I only wish I was able to see him live just once.

Slip Sliding Away

I do not think I am any kind of Nostradomus but I would like to be the first to go on record to say that Ultimate Electronics is about to start with the "Everything must go" signs. They are running unprecedented radio ads and have kids standing near their stores with signs saying "We shop Best Buy and Wal-Mart every day!".

For those of you that are not familiar with this store, it is Minnesota based and was formerly known as Audio King. If I want something high-end, it would be the first place I'd look to see and compare but I'd still most likely buy on the internet. I personally would have never changed the name from Audio King as "sound" was and still is their forte.

I used to shop Audio King and have shopped Ultimate Electronics from time to time. Why are they tanking (in my opinion)?

1. They tend to lean to high end. This economy does not support that.
2. On most occasions when I have been there, their sales staff has been very stuck up / cocky towards me. They very much have a "too good for you" attitude.
3. They are trying to compete with Best Buy and Wal-Mart. People go to those stores for something small all the time...ink, CDs, games, memory cards, etc. That gets you in the store where you see the big ticket items. When it comes time to buy those, you find yourself back to the big stores, not deciding to look and see what UE has.
4. Back on December 26, I mentioned their lack of brands in mp3 players. I see now that they have 35 (cr)apple models and 7 others. At least they are expanding a little. Still, I think they are painted into a very small corner and that is hurting them.
5. They are trying to win by mentioning the competition....FAIL!

Bottom line is that I hope they succeed since they are Minnesota based and are really the only place to get higher end sound gear. Like #5 says, they are to the point of pointing out how they are better than the competition. That is one step above bad mouthing the competition. What UE needs is to find the place where they are different than the competition.

Like in any business, 99% of what competetors do is the same. Live with it. To succeed you need to find the 1% that sets you apart from your competetors and you NEVER bring them into the conversation. If you do that 1% well, people notice and you don't need to worry about the competition. They need to worry about you!

WWW Plus Two

I really did not think the day would come. My Dad is not nor has no intentions to change the way he is. I do not have any issues with that. Stay true to who you are.

When my sisters and I found out he wanted a computer for his birthday, I was shocked. We snapped up a nice Dell laptop. I got it all setup with links, accounts, etc.

If you have seen the movie Men In Black, Will Smith "J" goes through a process where his entire identity is deleted all the way to his fingerprints. Every reference to him in society was deleted.

As I created email accounts, facebook accounts (yes, even my dad is on FB, Al).....I realized I was creating his online existence. Nothing about him was there before I created it. I was like Christophe in "The Truman Show". Godlike. "And on the 15th business trip to Carmel, IN, Mr. Orr's online existence was created!" OK, now I am just full of shit as usual.

Finally, an air-card service was found that has good signal in the sticks of Aitkin County. Just like that, they are online.

The challenge is talking them through the where's and what's to see and click on.

ME: Don't you see "login" at the top of the page?
THEM: Where?
ME: At the top of the page.
THEM: No.
ME: Well tell me what you see.
THEM: I see a blue bar with "http".
ME: Oh - not that far up......

You get the drift.

Still, this is a great thing in my opinion. It is not that I don't enjoy the calls from my dad to "look something up on my computer"....as if MY computer had all the world's information stored in it. I still want those calls. I just look forward to him seeing more of what is happening day to day. Sharing email. Jokes. Stuff like that.

Thanks dad for taking the step. Even if Sharon becomes your Information Secretary, I think eventually, you'll get it.

Know When To Retire....

I am not a huge fan of the NWA - Delta merger. Everyday, more NWA planes are sitting at the gate in Delta Livery. My first trip on an A330-300 was in Delta colors. I just hope I get a chance to ride one still painted in NWA colors.

I don't mind travel for work and certainly love it for play. I have developed a list of favorite airplanes for various reasons mostly related to space and size since I am not quite "waif".

I loved the A330, like 757s in first class but in coach they are a bit cramped like any Boeing plane. I get along very well with the A319/320's.

At one time, NWA Airlink had some RJ-85s which had 4 engines on a regional jet for short runways but were gas hogs. They were great because their coach seats were bigger than most first class seats on other planes. For airlink, I am currently a fan of the Embraer 175s. Nice plane.

YES - I AM GETTING TO THE POINT!!!!

When Delta bought NWA, I expected it to be the end of the old smokers also known as DC-9's. These planes originated with Republic Airlines which was purchased by NWA.

I DESPISE these planes. Small, cramped, immovable armrests and they are LOUD inside. These planes mostly originated in the 60's and are still in service so we'll give them a point for reliability.

I am now seeing these painted in Delta colors. Why? They are gas hogs! They burn in 500 miles what an Airbus or Embraer burns in 1000.

Well, I guess we get the last laugh. I saw one tonight at Indianapolis at a gate. The nice, pretty new Delta paint looked like someone lit a bonfire under the plane behind the engines. The old NWA colors hid the exhaust markings but not the nice, pretty white that Delta has back there.

They should have just left them red and silver until they retire them which should have been yesterday!