No, HOLD the Firecracker....It Is SAFER!

Tonight, I overheard something that shocked me. It perplexed me. It made me want to yell at the top of my lungs. It made me realize why this country is so sick.

I was at Ruby Tuesday's having dinner in Miami Lakes, FL. Ruby Tuesday's is becoming a new favorite when I am traveling because of their huge list of fresh fit sides and other healthy options on their menu.

Today I tried a new summer special item called the Seafood Mixed Grill. I had them 86 the rice pilaf and subbed an extra side in. For the sides I had their roasted spaghetti squash and broccoli. In the main dish it was a smaller cut of Mahi Mahi, 3 grilled shrimp and small portion of grilled salmon made it a SUPER healthy, low calorie dinner.

Back to the tragedy that happened next to me.

It was a family of a mom and three kids. The oldest child was a boy of probably 13-15 years old. He was chubby in all of the places it comes first....butt, chest, hips and tummy. Not grossly fat but certainly overweight. He must be getting picked on about it or is self-conscious because when the waiter took the drink orders, he sheepishly asked for a diet coke. The waiter left and the mom said, "The diet soda is more fattening than the regular!"

What what what?

There is NO way I could have heard that correctly. Maybe she was winking at him and just being sarcastic.

Is this the newest entry in the 'Eat This, Not That' book series?








This is better for you than that?

Now I would agree that water would be the best bet if we were playing Unwise, Better, BEST! **Incidentally, I had that shirt on tonight!!**

Later, the waiter came back and offered refills. The mother spoke up that he should bring COKE this time for her son, not Diet Coke. Picking my jaw off the table, I realized that what I heard the first time was accurate. She believed this. When the waiter brought the new glass, she ACTUALLY TASTED IT to be sure it was not diet! She was CERTAIN that the diet was a horrible choice her son had made.

The only explanations I can conjure up is one of three possibilities:

1) Good old fashioned ignorance. Let's call it 'A lack of education'. This is the main problem in our country when it comes to obesity and health issues.

2) Perhaps she thinks the whole 'Diet' label is a super secret conspiracy and it actually is worse for you!

3) Maybe it is all of the stories about how diet soda tricks the body into thinking that it is real sugar and makes you react in a way that makes you eat more. Perhaps it is a misunderstanding on the study.

I wanted to say something, politely of course....but I did not because if it is scenario 1 or 2, she would never listen. Even on the off chance she would have answered my query as to why she thinks that, it was too risky in the middle of a restaurant and probably not my business.

I have lived both an active, fit life and an unfit, unhealthy life. I know which is easier. I know what it is like to be picked on or judged. That boy was trying to take a small step to make a difference and he was thwarted. I have never been a sugar based soda drinker. I cannot imagine how much worse off I would have been if I had that as an addiction along with food. Food alone put me in a very bad place.

So I ask you....what would you have done? Would you say something or have asked? Would you have left it alone like I did? What if you were an expert in the field like Bob Wright? Would you have said something then?

I am still speechless.

A Unique Connection

I have this odd feeling we've met before.

A friend recently pointed out that the TV show that was on A&E last year filmed partly at Hilton Head Health is now available on Netflix streaming.

I am on the road this week and so I brought an HDMI cable so I can hook my laptop to the TV in my room. I have stayed up WAY too late rewatching episodes this week. Two ladies from the show, Stacia and Debbie are friends of mine on Facebook. I watched their episodes first.

Keep in mind that the show was complete long before I arrived at H3 for my 4 week stay. Yet somehow as I watch I feel like I know them. I think it is seeing them eat lunch with Robert or weighing in with Bob, Adam or Jeff. Sitting in Beth's office chairs. Working out with Adam or the front desk staff. Seeing the hallways and knowing every inch of them. Knowing EXACTLY where they are by the picture behind them or the chair they are in.

It is more than that. I hear the words they say as they describe the challenges that being obese caused them. I understand that language. I know the scenarios they paint.

When I see how hard they worked, I remember how hard I worked. The sweat soaked shirts and that feeling of complete exhaustion as you pounded on the wall in cardio boxing. I can taste the saline pool.

Watching the episodes makes me want to go back to H3. How much would I have lost in 6 months? I am doing just fine on my own....killing it as Jeff would say but still I wonder how being there for 6 months would have been different for me.

Yes, I feel like I know Stacia and Debbie and the others too. I cannot wait for the big reunion at H3 for Devin's Dash in October. Then these feelings like we've met before will be for real!

For anyone reading this blog that wants to make a change....needs to make a change. I can tell you that there is no time like the present. The days go faster when you are feeling better and living healthier than the days when you keep thinking, 'I will start next Monday'. Just do it!

We Tried?

I am deviating from my recent flurry of posts on health and wellness to comment on a story today in the papers about the Space Shuttle program.

The headline was suggesting the epitaph for the program.....

"WE TRIED"

Are they serious? The story refers to the shuttles as a failure to deliver cheaper space travel with a reusable vehicle. The program cost $196 billion originating back in the late 70's. First of all, let's compare that to the Federal Stimulus package that was going to save our nation. That cost us $787 billion and promised to keep the unemployment rate below 8% if I remember correctly. It saved a bunch of union jobs and for a good long while now, the jobless rate has been over 9%. I consider the stimulus a MAJOR fail. If my numbers are wrong on the percentages, I am sure The Rube will correct me. Back to the shuttle story...

There were 134 shuttle missions. I looked up the cost of the Apollo Saturn V rockets per launch (non reuseable) and loosely adjusted for inflation, it actually was cheaper at $111 billion which surprised me. Then again, the technology was a little less considering a calculator or cell phone today had more computing power than the computer on the Apollo missions. Furthermore, the Saturn V and capsule limited each mission to 3 people with little room to do experiments and studies. I think the shuttles were VERY good in that regard.

Lastly, they touted the shuttles as having cost 14 lives. Yes, it is sad. I think it is a miracle that only 3 men died on Apollo spacecraft (Apollo 1 fire in a test on the ground). I have read countless books by Gene Krantz and others of the early NASA days and they fully admitted that many of their decisions were by the seat of their pants. They were highly skilled and brilliant people but don't discount being lucky.

Every astronaut knows that they are strapping themselves to a controlled bomb. Given the opportunity and risk, they all go ahead to have that chance. Space travel is not trivial even with as many missions as there have been.

So, to the Space Shuttle program, I wish you well. I think you were a success. We cheer the triumphs and remember those that died doing what they loved. I have seen it launch from Orlando and once from Titusville. It rips on your soul as you watch that magnificent fireball reach into the sky. That is not failure in my book.

Burgers and Fries and Beers, OH MY!

Fast food and beer? I saw this story today in USA Today. I am so torn on this decision. As many of you know, fast food was one of my biggest obsessions and vices. I LOVED….fast food. Pick a restaurant, any restaurant. I can name you my top 10 items right off the cuff. That of course was the ‘Old Orracle’.

On one hand, I think introducing beer and wine will exacerbate the problem of too many calories in a meal with the addition of the beer and wine. On the other hand maybe it will drive some parents away with their children which would be a good thing. Keeping that taste out of the mouths of our children would not be a bad thing. I realize there is still the drive thru to get a bag of calories. Speaking of the drive thru, does that mean I can get a beer to go….maybe I will reconsider my abstinence from fast food! Of course I am kidding.

One thought was about the wine. Are they getting ‘good’ wine or are they getting Mad Dog 20/20? Perhaps Mogen David or Boone’s? I can see some low-roller hitting the joint for a burger and some tater tots and throwing in some Mad Dog but any real wine snob would not drink those lowly wines. On the other hand, I highly doubt most of your wine aficionados eat many meals at Sonic or Burger King.

If times are really getting tough enough for fast food eateries to have to boost sales with alcohol, I guess that means we are eating less of that junk food. Maybe it is just the lack of money from the Orracle that has driven this deficit in their cash flow!

A Chip Off The BIG PICTURE!!!

I found this story reprinted in the StarTribune today from the LA Times. I find it completely misleading! You can follow this link or you can just read it below since it is so short.

<from the LA TIMES>

Blame the potato chip. It's the biggest demon behind that pound-a-year weight creep that plagues many of us, a major diet study found. Bigger than soda, candy and ice cream. And the reason is partly that old advertising cliché: You can't eat just one. "They're very tasty and they have a very good texture. People generally don't take one or two chips. They have a whole bag," said obesity expert Dr. F. Xavier Pi-Sunyer of the St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York. In the new study, scientists from Harvard analyzed changes in diet and lifestyle habits of 120,877 people from three long-running medical studies. On average, participants gained nearly 17 pounds over the 20-year period. Potato chips were the biggest dietary offender. Each daily serving containing 1 ounce led to a 1.69-pound uptick over four years. For potatoes other than chips, the gain was 1.28 pounds. Within the spud group, french fries were worse for the waist than boiled, baked or mashed potatoes. By comparison, sugary drinks added a pound over four years and sweets and desserts added 0.41 of a pound.

Seriously? This is the biggest problem we have with the drastic rise in obesity? If the real problem is 'a pound a year of weight gain', then I guess I can go with it. Plus, it makes you think that soft drinks might just be OK. Guess what....they are not!

If you get some space to write a wellness column, use it for something productive like addressing the REAL problems! I think what bugs me the most is that scientists from Harvard analyzed data to come to this conclusion. They are probably tenured jackasses that have nothing better to do but spend some grant money on useless studies like this. I know the concept of 'tenure' bothers me but I know it bothers my buddy, The Rube too!

Why can't they spend their time and money studying and publishing something that stands a chance to change the knowledge level of Americans and nutrition as it relates to obesity? I could rant forever but I think I will just stop now!

Caddyshack....The New Nutritional Guideline!

Who knew that Caddyshack had a line in the movie that would prove to be a healthy option?

When Spaulding Smails says, “I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips…..” and Judge Smails interrupts with, “You’ll have nothing, and like it!”

Judge & Spaulding Smails

This weekend, I found myself in another very high risk situation. Surrounded by family that is very supportive yet in an environment filled with buffets, pizza and other foods that helped me get to the unhealthy, old version of The Orracle of the past. Dinner in a restaurant is fairly simple. You can usually get a grilled chicken breast or small sirloin/filet, salad and plain baked potatoes (with lemon of course!). Breakfast is a whole different situation. While eggs are not horrible for you and omelets can be made with veggies galore, there is not a grilling option that you can assure yourself will be light on the oil. At 120 calories per tablespoon and 70 calories per egg, this can get out of control quickly. Then, figure it will come with a meat and/or toast which even dry is very high in calories.

Mrs. Orracle and I decided to pack a cooler with all of the ingredients to Breakfast Whack. We ate that before meeting our family for breakfast. I thought about testing the waters at breakfast and once I did, I was very happy that I had already eaten my Whack. I tried to get a poached egg or two. They did not do that but I could get them basted (WARNING!). An egg white omelet was not available either. You had your choice of grease, calories or fat with a side of grease.

I had nothing.....and liked it!

My sister commented how hard that must have been. I would not say it was hard. I felt fine. I was feeling full from my Whack. Was it difficult to sit and have coffee with American fries, omelets, biscuits and gravy and French toast filling every olfactory nook and cranny in my body? Sure. Let’s say for a minute I had the breakfast instead of Whack. Whack was roughly 300 calories. An omelet would have been at least 350-400 plus any extras such as toast at 100 calories a slice if eaten dry (and why would you do that?). Let’s assume I could have survived the breakfast at 550 calories (which might be pushing it). Is the difference of 250 calories that much of a deal breaker for me? Probably not. Could it bring back the taste of some old habits. You bet. Could it have been that it would not have satiated me like the well rounded Whack did? Absolutely.

The point I am trying to make is that we cannot look at the net calories alone. We have to look at where we’ll be after that meal. If that meal will leave you hanging and wanting more food sooner, it probably is not the best choice even if the net difference in calories is small. The food contents and plate design (¼ protein, ¼ starch, ½ fruits and/or vegetables) can make the difference down the road that day!

We can make significant progress in our battles to lose weight and be more healthy by making small adjustments. Just imagine what a difference a big adjustment or two like this can do for you!

Sugar Buzz!

I saw today that the LAUSD (Los Angeles School District) decided to keep chocolate milk out of schools beginning July 1. This is a good move. For those of you that do not watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, the show was most likely one of the key drivers although another woman had been pushing for this for over a year.



In one episode, to demonstrate the amount of ADDED sugar kids in LAUSD had in one week, he filled a bus with the amount of sugar they were consuming. Pretty scary! It filled the bus and ran out the windows.

The one board member that opposed this change, proclaiming that a TV show host should not have that much influence over the board had it all wrong. She compared the amount of sugar in fruit juices that they serve to be eqivalent to the chocolate milk. The point of the needed change is not the total grams of sugar but the ADDED SUGAR they were getting.

A 1/2 pint of skim white milk has 10g of sugar. A 1/2 pint of skim chocolate milk has 20g of sugar. The juice she compared to had 20g of sugar also but assuming the juice was 100%, it was not added sugar. Now, we all know from what we learned at Hilton Head Health that the sugars and calories in juices need to be moderated too, but I'll still consider this a win! In the realm of Unwise, Better, Best, the chocolate milk is unwise, juice is better and white skim milk is best!

Since I spent 4 weeks at H3, I am so hyper-aware of the sugars and calories in everything around me. I am also very aware of the choices those around me make and have to bite my lip vs. speak out. I am just a short way down my journey I realize. I ended up where I was because of a lack of knowledge.

Thank goodness for people like Bob Wright teaching what he does and for people like Jamie Oliver for taking it to the airwaves. We are plagued by obesity and all of the co-morbidities in this country. Every small change like removing chocolate milk will help!

My First Week On The Road!

This week I had my first opportunity to try out my travel skills since leaving Hilton Head Health. I find it surprising where my challenges were this week. I planned my trip to come early on Sunday which would allow me time to get to a grocery store. I did well on the plane but was surprised that the meals in first class do not have any nutritional information available. In that situation, go with what you have learned. There is no question that the chicken breast sandwich was the UNWISE or maybe just BETTER choice vs. the chicken breast salad. It was the BEST choice available. The dressing was on the side so I knew I could dip and spear. Fortunately, the tiny breadsticks had calorie information on them as did the brownie that I just looked at. Fortunately, chocolate is not my vice and it was fairly painless to let it slip away.

Let’s talk about groceries. Publix has horrible produce. Just junk. I managed to get apples, bananas, grapes, Rainier cherries and carrots with a new dip from Marzetti that is a greek yogurt, feta, dill dip and low in calories. I hope I can find that at home!

The eating out went well. I can always get lean filets, fish (especially here in Florida), salads, plain baked potatoes (with lemon....try it!) and grilled veggies. I did have a server at Bahama Breeze suggest that I have my fish grilled with olive oil because A) it has less calories than butter and B) the seasonings in the butter would add too many calories. Um, no….wrong and wrong. Butter actually has a few less calories and seasonings generally have none. Is it any wonder why our country is growing at the waist like it is? What I found amazing was how when I ordered FIRST as Bob suggested, every night, people in my group would follow my lead. More people would make healthier choices than those that did not. Many would just say, “I’ll have the same as Lyle!” I have traveled with these people before and KNOW how they normally would order. That is just amazing to me.

I worked out but was frustrated with the treadmills at the Hampton Inn. I think they have a weight limit of about 200 pounds as they slipped underneath me. I decided to not be defeated and hit the pavement. This is the first time I have walked/run on tar and it really beat up my joints. No more of that for a while. The rest of the week I just did fitball and resistance band stuff with dumbbells and managed to get enough work in.

The challenge came at breakfast. Two of my favorite items are the cheese omelet and the bagel toppers. Why did I even open the steam table cover? Still, I managed to have a poor man’s version of breakfast whack which was Total cereal, strawberry yogurt and a banana. Having the sweetened yogurt and the banana made it WAY too sweet compared to the Real Breakfast Whack but at 280 calories, it sufficed and filled me up. I really did not imagine that the breakfast would be my biggest challenge of the week.



One more night then off to home in the morning. I know where my calories have been but it feels like cheating when you eat out every night. I am curious to see if the scale shows what my food log says it should!

My next challenge will be in a couple of weeks when I do back to back 3 day trips to Cincinnati and Austin. I will be traveling with executives and will not have any opportunity to get fruits and veggies for snacking. Lunches will also be provided which means less chance to make a good choice. Control will be the key. This is my life though and I must learn to deal with every aspect of it. The great part about this week was that I proved that it can be done. Even though everyone has big eyes when you say you have to travel, knowing that it means eating out and in their mind, that means you have absolutely NO chance of keeping control, it is refreshing to know that it is possible with only a little preparation and knowledge. For that, I thank Bob Wright!

Something In The Water At Hilton Head Health?

I know my time at Hilton Head Health (H3i) was life changing. I know that the change in me is likely related to the fact that 1) I was there for 28 days 2) It is a very well rounded program focusing on diet, nutrition education, fitness and mental wellness and 3) The people there were amazing and inspirational. That was my theory up until today.

Today, I decided to not pack a lunch. That also meant no metabo-meals to snack on. I had my Breakfast Whack as usual and then for lunch, I went to Subway with Spiffy. Safe there with a footlong turkey on wheat, no cheese, tons of veggies and just mustard for sauce. 560 calories.

On the way home....well, I got hungry. I stopped for fuel and smelled a nearby Burger King.

--->Uh-oh<---

I started driving and soon found myself at Wal-Mart buying carrots and an apple. Slip, lapse and collape averted.

Now, the theory I posted above certainly was not the only factors at work. I have since given this some additional thought and have arrived at a few more ideas.

1) As the title suggests, there is something in the water. I Sure drank enough of it while I was there!
2) The reflector on the 'reflector tree', turning point for all of our after meal thermal-walks may actually be emitting some kind of mind-altering ray.
3) The pool at H3i was reported to us as being a saline pool. Perhaps that is a cover-up for some other kind of salt in the pool that enters you via osmosis (or via choking from Katie pushing you to do one more lap when you cannot swim well).
4) Could it be the Balsamic Pepper sauce that we became so addicted to?
5) Perhaps Chef Jen is behind this! She is such an amzing chef and extremely friendly that we'd never suspect her of being behind something like this!

I don't know the reason but I can say this....prior to my visit to H3i, even if I was doing well on a 'diet', I would not have avoided eating something bad. It might not have been fast food but probably would not have been 'best' or even 'better'.

No matter their tricks, I hope it never wears off because tonight when I felt better having had something healthy, I felt fantastic knowing I made the best choice I could have.

Breakfast Whack Spreading Like Wildfire!

Like a bad rumor, the concoction now known as Breakfast Whack is catching on. From its roots to person unknown at Hilton Head Health, it had a following. The following was somewhat limited to H3 guests and past guests however.

In a recent post, I illustrated the way it obtained the catchy name, Breakfast Whack. Since then, my wife's coworkers have started eating it and loving it. Rumor has it that their families have even started on it. Could Breakfast Whack be the next Facebook, multiplying like friend requests to old girlfriends? Just maybe.

Today at lunch, I had something that was not as pretty as Breakfast Whack but it sure was tasty. It just might be the incarnation of Lunch Whack....but Jess will be the judge of that!

The Orracle Goes Viral!

Disclaimer: I understand that a title like that from me would usually mean that I am sick or have some kind of actual virus. That is not the case today...


Since my friends at Hilton Head Health posted a link to my last blog entry on their facebook page, potentially HUNDREDS of people have found my blog. That means it is time to turn up the intensity and get some more posts out here!

Besides getting a haircut today which along with my glowing Hilton Head Island tan makes me look like a movie star, I have really nothing else to say today! So, I found a little viral video, food related of course for your viewing pleasure. I think this dog just might need a short stay at H3 to control these food driven emotions! ENJOY!

Living Outside The Bubble

As many of you know, I spent 28 life changing days at Hilton Head Health Institute. Even though you are permitted to leave anytime you'd like, you spend most of your time at the facility. I rode my bike up to the main building from my condo and spent the day there. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and a full slate of fitness options all day long. Even on days when you might not be at the top of your game and decide to take it easy, you find it pleasing just to stay at the main building maybe just laying by the pool or in it. Like monkeys in a cage, your internal clock just knew when it was almost 3:30. Feeding time at the zoo. More appropriately, metabo time. If you were by the pool, you started looking for Adam or one of the other crew from the dining room to bring out the tub of snacks. Having that set plan of food and exercise in a place free of readily accessible stockpiles of chips, wings and drive thru windows is a good place to be. Unfortunately, we have to leave the bubble eventually.

I felt good about coming home after my 3rd week but was thankful to have a 4th week there.

My first time alone in the real world was at the Hampton Inn by the Savannah Airport since I had a very early flight on Sunday morning. Upon entry to the hotel, a tray of warm cookies greeted me. Then, needing some water, I ventured to the 'Suite Shop' to browse. There, I was confronted by frozen dinners (a.k.a. empty calorie food), ice cream and energy drinks. I decided to head upstairs. In my room, to thank me for being such a loyal Hilton Guy, I received a calories free thank you card along with a bag a Doritos. Nice. I felt like a WWII Bomber flying through flak and shrapnel. Fortunately, I planned for the high risk situation by bringing a couple of extra metabo meals as snacks. Staring down the Doritos, I ate my apple and cottage cheese.

Now that I am home, I have found it to be A-U-T-O-M-A-T-I-C. "Breakfast Whack" every morning. Jess named it, not me. What is it?

• 1/2 cup of Fiber One Honey Crunch


• 1/2 cup of 1% cottage cheese


• 1/3-1/2 cup of plain, nonfat yogurt (premixed by YOU with splenda and vanilla extract)


• top with cut up strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and/or raspberries

Jess called it Breakfast Whack because the first time I told her of my new obsession, she said it sounded "WHACK" but now she is a believer too!

I have my metabos and a good lunch. Dinner selections have been from the Hilton Head Health cookbook and their blog which is called H3 Daily. GO THERE!

Next week, I travel for the first time. I have no fear. Traveling smarts were just one more lecture given by the amazing Bob Wright (picture with The Orracle below). It will be just like being at home. Planned out, researched and disciplined!

I do have a long road to go but never have I felt this confident in my abilities. This is not a diet. This is a lifestyle....and one I can live with.

Lousiana Lisa Saves The Orracle's Butt....Literally!

This post must come with a TMI warning.

Continue reading at your own risk!

I meant to post this last week but the 4-5 fitness classes, 6 eating times and the need for 10 hours of sleep a night have certainly hindered my ability to sit at a computer.

I was walking pretty gingerly after dinner. Lisa asked if my muscles were pretty sore. Sure they were but the real problem was chaffing between my legs. Too much time on the treadmill I guess. She offered to drive me to my cottage which was great. She said then that she was going to CVS to get me something. I tried to tell her NO but she would not have it. She returned 20 minutes later and handed me a bag but would not offer any payment for the 'medicine'.

What she bought me was Butt Paste! It is actually used for babies but apparently, it works for 40 year old babies too! WOW - one treatment before bed and I was healed completely by morning ready to bust it on the treadmill again.

So, to my friend, Louisiana Lisa, thank you for literally saving my ass!

Cruising In Week 2!

Pictures as promised....some comments at the bottom - ENJOY!

A medium sized gator with mouth open

Dr. Frasier Crane

Alert Little Gator!

Baby gator sunning

Chef Jen teaching a cooking class

A sweaty Orracle and Caroline after a little class

Caroline was one of my favorites from my first week! What a class act - especially being willing to take a picture with such a sweaty version of The Orracle!


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hi everyone! I have survived my first week at H3i and feel like a million bucks. I have had some monster workouts and am enjoying my time immensely. The people here continue to prove to be amazing and inspirational. Tonight, we had Cordon Bleu for dinner that was to die for. For lunch today was a giant burrito with enchilada sauce. I cannot get over the food quality and how maintaining on 1,200 calories a day is even possible for a big sexy dude like me.


The cooking picture is of former Minnesotan and Head Chef Jenn. Besides maybe having a little crush on her, she is a GREAT cook! In this class, she showed us how to make side dishes in a healthy way such as mac and cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, fried rice, sweet potato nuggets and a fun lemon custard that we baked. I never knew home-ec could be this great!



I will try to keep the posts and pics coming as I continue my 4 week journey here at H3i. Thank you to all of my supporters and well-wishers. You keep me going when it hurts....and it hurts quite a bit of the time.

Thursday Already!

3 days complete and 25 to go counting today.

I wondered why more people did not blog their time here at H3i. I think I know now (not that I intend to let it deter me entirely). You are busy. It is roughly a 7 AM to 7 PM sprint of activity, lectures and food. YES food! I never thought 1200 calories a day would cut it but it does. I have been under a couple of days yet the food is fantastic. Eggs benedict, chicken parm, french toast, pork tenderloins, etc. It is the portions, quality ingredients (no empty calories) and the all important "metabo-meals" 3 times a day which I find to be too much. Metabos can be any combination of items up to 200 cals for men or 100 for women. I am trying to stick to 100 just to eat something. Choices are pears, bananas, apples, oranges, grapfruit, grapes, rice cakes, yogurt, carrots, celery, dip, cottage cheese, low sodium V8, kiwi, applesauce and more. Some of those items are so low that you have to take 3-4 items to hit your caloric intake for that metabo meal.

The classes are fun and new. My favorite is called ULTRA CIRCUIT. Odd numbers in the cardio room and even numbers in the resistance/weight room. 2 minutes at a station doing as many reps or as hard as you can push on cardio and then you change. ANYBODY can do ANYTHING for 2 minutes! Before you know it, it is time to stretch and you have drenched yet another t-shirt.

My soreness is subsiding although I did get a little sunburned in a pool class yesterday (and DESTROYED my shoulders)! I never thought a pool class could gas me like that!

I promise some pictures coming soon. I brought the camera up here today although we are supposed to get some of the storms that have blasted the south this week today.

Off to breakfast....I wonder what it might be today?

The Orracle is Off the Grid...

Off the grid? Well, so to speak.

Some of you, actually very few of you know where I am these days. I was not completely open and advising everyone of my upcoming leave of absence from work.

You see, in the nearly 11 years that I have worked at my job, it has been nuts. Al knows this. Many others know that. I enjoy working there but have seriously neglected myself. At 40, my health has been spiraling our of control. Could it be stress? Too many hours? Maybe -but no more excuses.

On Easter Sunday, I flew away from my awesome family down to Savannah, GA via Atlanta. 2 flights, open first class seat next to me on both legs - that NEVER happens - but back on the story.

From Savannah, I took a shuttle to Hilton Head Island and more specifically, Hilton Head Health. This is a wellness resort / spa. I will be here for 4 full weeks finding the tools and respite needed to make a complete behavioral change related to fitness, wellness, health, SELF and nutrition.

Hilton Head Health Institure (H3i) in a nutshell is a bootcamp but before you start thinking about Jillian and Bob (Biggest Loser), imagine it with super nice, concerned people that want nothing other than you to get better. There is a Bob here (he has been here for 30 years) and a Beth but no Jillian. Adam and all of the others are fantastic also.

Today was day 1 of 28. Never did I imagine I would survive and be happy on 1200 calories whilst having my rear end handed to me in fitness classes. I cannot imagine how day 28 might feel in comparison. With any luck, I will always remember what day 1 felt like so I never put myself in this position again.

So watch this space. Pics to come of the facility, gators that roam freely, possibly food, staff, WONDERFUL friends and much more.

Now I lay me down to sleep....quite early....but in less than 12 hours, more instructors await the chance to push The Orracle to the limit.

My Nemesis

Each year, I have this relationship with a man. No, not that kind of relationship, not that there is anything wrong with that (copyright Seinfeld). This relationship starts in the autumn. There comes that night, maybe on a drive or just out with the dogs for one last time where I spot him. Orion...the constellation. I see him and I know any seemingly tolerable weather is about to be lost to him and his time in the sky. Still, he is low in the sky and I am still not too angry with him.

Then the brutal force of winter sets in. Orion sits high in the sky. Taunting me. Not caring if I hate his guts for the onslaught of frigid temps and feet of snow he has brought our way. There is nothing I can do but wish I had my own bow and arrow that would reach him and blow him from the sky.

Tonight I am in Key Largo, FL. I stood on my balcony and looked out over the water. I saw my friend. He is starting to dip lower in the sky. I thought it could be my imagination since the weather here is a bit nicer than at home but I knew that even in the frozen tundra, he is losing his grip and position in the sky. Slowly, the Earth pushes him back down to the horizon, for the other half of the planet to begin seeing. Maybe he is hated somewhere in that hemisphere as well.

For now, I will watch him slipping downward while my thermometer inches upward. By June, I will have forgotten about him. Then fall will come, all too soon and he will peek at me again. Pissing me off because I know that summer and fall are about to be whitewashed away.

The Waffle House

As most of you know, I am anti (cr)apple. Therefore, no iPhone. On the same lineage, I was feeling the same towards the whole smart phone revolution. I admired my co-workers HTCs and Driods. I listen to Howard Stern talk about his change recently and loving it.

I just do not see the value of paying $30 a month to have internet between the places that you have internet. Same goes with texting. It is becoming the blight of our country first with kids/teens and now with the parents too. If Darwin has it right with the evolution bit, we'll be a species that cannot talk within 20 years.

What's with the title you say....

Well, Jessica's phone really was a piece of crap. She'd get an alert to voicemail and they would be over a week old. Some calls would not even ring through to her. Basically, it was time to replace the phone.

Into the T-Mobile store I go. I ask for the phones that do not require data plans. My salesperson, Leah, points me to all 6 crusty old phones in the corner. The conversation goes through the paces where I explain how we really do not need touch screens or data plans but I humor her and tell her to sell it to me.

Inside of 15 minutes, she has me ready to come in this weekend for the big 'free phone 4G event'. All phones (with contract extension) are free - even the HTC MyTouch 4G. But I was still waivering on assuming an additional $30 or worse yet $60 a month for data plans if I included Ashlie. She checks my account, nearly falls over having not seen anyone that had been a customer of T-Mobile as long as I (count time with Arial Communications and Voicestream).

She explains that with the texting I have on Ashlie's phone plus the amount I am paying for Jessica's ad-hoc texts, if I would change to their new promo-plan with the same minutes and cost as the plan I am on, the data plan drops to $20 per line and ends up being a net increase of about $20 a month. Now who cannot afford that? Add in the benefits of GPS to two women in my family that have challenges getting from Hudson to New Richmond. Add in the fun things like the bar-code scanners, video, good pics, etc. SOLD!

I brought Jess and Ashlie by last night to pick their phones. Thinking it might be pretty busy tonight, I stopped this AM and waited amost an hour to get 2 new smart phones (that I would NEVER own, right?).

The story is cute that I waffled....sure. I think what made me the most happy was to see a line for phones that were not filled with iPeople looking for iPhones and that these phones are 4G and (cr)apple is just 3G and we have flash support and so on and so on.

The biggest question is: Should I have bought one for The Orracle too?

A New Fan?

I looked at the computer this morning and saw my shadow (2/2 for those of you that don't get it)...looks like I can blog again.

After some requests from Paul (Mr. Baseball) to start blogging again and then today with a loose comment from my bossman about my blog, I had to come out and dust off the old keys. First of all, to the bossman, I cannot find ANY post related to work. I generally do not post about work so I think you were making it up just to get me concerned. If you are actually reading this, I am sure this post will get a mention...

So long since my last post....yet not much has changed. Same project at work...the one that does not seem to die but actually might! Rumor has it that Spiffy and I will be working together on the next one. If you remember, he is the one that likes to counterfeit money. I just hope he does not try to take me down with him. He and I have not worked directly on the same project in a while and so I am really looking forward to it.

The weather...what is to say there except IT SUCKS! I am really tired of winter. As I type this, my house is popping and creaking over by Ashlie's room. I am sure it is just the frigid temps but I am concerned about the damm ice dams. I am going to have to try to do something about those this weekend. One by my pool room is at least 10" thick. I have not been over by Ashlie's room as the snow is just too deep to get around the house.

Vacations....we love vacations. Nothing planned officially. We are thinking of taking a cruise or something around spring break which is very early for our kids this year but am waiting on a few 'things' before I can book. We have decided to plan our dream vacation though. I should make a post entirely about it....a teaser is fair though, don't you think? We are fortunate that my work travel has enriched my Hilton account with lots of points. I need some more but am in a position to do 2 full weeks at a category 7 resort. SO....we are planning to do a trip to Bora Bora and Moorea in French Polynesia. Hotel (which would be covered by points) is about $5000 per week there. If you've never seen pics, just google it. It is amazing. The trip would have us fly to Tahiti and then hop to Bora Bora. From Bora Bora, we'd fly back to Tahiti and then take a boat/ferry to Moorea as it is the next island to Tahiti. More to come on this. It could happen as soon as this fall but expect it to be the spring of 2012.

I am thinking of getting a new phone with a camera. I think having that to take a picture of something that prompts a blog in my head will help facilitate actually getting it to the page for all 3-5 of my fans.

Anyway - take care. To the boss - I hope you read this. Al - I hope you come back even though you are full blown on Facebook now. Paul....well.....this is for you I guess.

Over and out....The Orracle.

More Proof that (cr)Apple is Evil

Excerpt below lifted from a CNN.com story on the first Apple created, the Apple I. Originally sold for how much? That's right, the price of The Dark One, Lucifer himself. $666.66.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/innovation/11/12/apple.computer.auction/index.html?hpt=C2

Of course in normal Apple fashion, it will sell to some Lemming for an unrealistic price, currently projected to be in the $160,000 range.

You can't make this stuff up!