NOW I Understand!

Greetings from South Texas. I decided to fly down and surprise my dad with a visit. He spends about 1-2 months in Mission, TX and 3-4 months in South Padre Island, TX. I came alone as airfare was relatively high and Jessa was out of vacation.

The surprise went great. Dad said it is his best Christmas ever, although that was not my intention. I just wanted to see their "Winter Texan" world.

The park where he has a lot in Mission is very serene and laid back. Lots of golf carts and shuffleboard. They play pool and Euchre (.25 limit) in the rec hall. By dark, everyone is tucked in. Laaaiiiiddd zzzzzzzzzzzzzz back. This pace would kill me even if I was retired I think.

Then we went to Mexico.

I found the Fountain of Youth. It is a bar so the fountain is a margarita machine (Happy hour, all year. 2-1 on margaritas and pina coladas). The place is in Progreso, Mexico, just 35 minutes from Mission.

NOW I understand where the inheritance goes. It goes to Progreso where for $33, three of us ate and drank massive quantities of booze.

The best part is that this is literally SENIOR FROG'S. Senior meaning "nobody under 50" for the most part. These seniors whoop it up like a bunch of spring breakers. They know every song the one man band plays, they know when to chant, when to yell "ARRIBA" and trill their tongues.

I had to laugh as they are all torqued up on booze and their families visiting for Christmas are all there. The kids (30-40 themselves) and grand kids are mortified at Grandma and Grandpa as they go through this ritual like a person imbibing for the first time in a bar.

We left there, loaded up on meds to bring home and headed to watering hole #2. "The Rose Garden" is a narrow alleyway. $1 for Mexican beers. So cheap you buy them for the guys that come to shine dad's scooter and the guy weaving bracelets for Ashlie and her friends too. Why should they be left out of the beer?

Off to the final stop where we'll get our maximum allotment of booze to bring back to the states. Captain Morgan - just $7. Ketel One Vodka, just $15. A deal today gives you 3 bottles of Jose Cuervo for $6 each. That is our max (one bottle per person) so we get that deal ***NO....I did not drink any te-kill-ya**

Now, this all sounds good but don't forget the begging children, crippled people on the street, stray animals and garbage everywhere. Bitch all you want about the US but I'll take her with her taxes and crappy president over the conditions south of the border any day!

Today we recuperated from our fun yesterday. Tomorrow, to SPI we go. I have heard stories of the bars frequented there and I have a feeling it was discovery #2 for Ponce deLeon. Better sign off and get my rest. Keeping up with the retirees is tough!

Who Has Gas?

Yes, second post today. I wanted to post about New Richmond living and I wanted to post about this and the two just don't go together.

Our van. Broken gas gauge for nearly 2 years. $5o0 to fix. No need! I can just track my mileage on the odometer and fill when it gets to the limit, right? That plan has worked flawlessly.

Based on worst case scenario mileage, I can go 400 miles. I have pushed it to 420 and still had almost a gallon in the tank when I filled. Today, I left home with 368 miles on the tank.

"I can make Burkhardt". Yes, there is a BP that I can see from my house but their pumps are slow. The Cenex in Burkhardt has FAST pumps. I will get $10 there and fill in Woodbury to avoid WI gas tax which is higher than MN. (Currently, $2.84 in MN and $2.99 in WI).

I turned the corner, almost to the station and the car started to stutter. NO. Must be my imagination.

CRAP! I am running out and I just used the brake on that corner back there! I coasted as far as I could.

BAD NEWS: Did not make the station.
GOOD NEWS: Less the 1/2 mile from the station.

Now, I have always been the guy to laugh at the schmuck carrying the gas can down the road. WHAT A LOSER! WHO RUNS OUT OF GAS? Sheesh!

News flash. I do. I am that loser.

I bought my gallon, had to face at least 100,000 cars on my humiliation walk back to the van where Jessa sat under a blanket knitting.

Why did it run out less than 400 miles? Winter. Warm up time. Idling in the driveway. Does not add miles to the odometer. That's how.

So call me names. I ran out of gas. I am a dumb ass.

Why A Small Town?

We are a few days short of 2 years here in New Richmond. So many people I work with shrug their shoulders when I say that I wanted to live in a small town. They cannot believe the commute is worth it. Why oh why would you want that?

Tonight, I went to the boys basketball game. The Tigers of New Richmond vs. the Spooner Rails. Both teams undefeated. Somebody's "O" must go! It was a great game that we won. NR is ranked #6 in Div II at this point. More important is the fans. Seeing the same faces. People with kids in the game. People with kids in dance line. People that just like HS Sports and that sense of community. Even though I was mixed in with yucky Green Bay fans, tonight we shared the same side of the bench.

Last week was the band and choir concerts at the middle school. Our jazz band is better than many high school bands. Ashlie's solo was nothing short of chilling on Hey Jude. Would she have that opportunity in a big town? Maybe....maybe not.

We DJed a fundraiser dance for the marching band trip to Florida in May. Raised over $1000 and had a great time. The kids were so good!

On 12/8 (my birthday) Jess took me to the community theater to see Plaid Tidings and it was GREAT!

The more I do here, the more I realize I don't need Hennepin Avenue theater, Metrodome games and class AAAAA sports where you know hardly anyone in the stands. New Richmond is my home. Why would I want to live anywhere else?

Warning Labels

Welcome to December! It has been a fast and furious November with a short vacation, some work travel and Thanksgiving. Over the last week, I have had a chance to settle in and catch up on family time, movies and some shopping. Oh, yeah - how could I forget....I got a little older over the recent days as well. I am officially on the dark side of the dark side of my 30s now.

With the movies (and the motivation for the title).....

I am on a cold spell. Let's say I am in a movie slump. I know, you'll say, "That is what you get for renting movies like that!" but generally, those movies appeal to me! Movies like Porkies, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, American Pie and even the later American Pie knockoffs where the only original character is Eugene Levy.

This weekend I checked out Reno 911 and Superbad. I guess it is hard to be upset with Superbad since it says it all right in the title! I have often shown my hatred for stupid movies like "Sideways" and "Pulp Fiction" but how could I have known? The title has no indication that the movie will be bad. Superbad did and I ignored it. The previews showed all the promise of a typical T&A, school age/college age hijinx type movie and it fell flat.

I did see Disturbia and loved it. That is not normally my type of movie but I really liked it. Also on the "OK" list was Waitress. It was typical and predictable but enjoyable throughout. I loved the wholesome, local girl played by the hottie Keri Russell. WOW!

Lastly, I close with a plea to the movie distributors. Don't tease me with the endless stories and articles on Diablo Cody's new movie Juno and then only play it at the "Uptown" theater. If this movie is as good as they say, I want it to be out in every theater! I would avoid it completely based on the limited release to the "arthouse" theater crowd but having read her book "Candy Girl" and frequent her blog "The Pussy Ranch", I know her writing is awesome. This movie should not disappoint. I guess she will have to be my closest brush with fame since she used to work at LTCG. She looked interesting and clearly did not fit in. Why oh why didn't I talk to her?