I.R.S. Followup

In response to my post on my tax woes for this year, a friend a.k.a. "The Rube" sent me a funny email. It has probably circulated for many to see but I found it entertaining and potentially a good solution to my problem. See below.....seeing that my deficit was only $1800, I have to buy even less!

Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat. I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience. It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely, A Satisfied Taxpayer

"The Streak Has Ended" or "Those %#@!#& Bastards!"

I realize that the title resembles the continuation of a Rocky & Bullwinkle skit (If you don't get it, you are too young).

I did our taxes last night. It went something like this:

1) Enter Lyle's W-2. Estimated refund: $2700

2) Enter Jessica's W-2. Estimated repayment: $4200

That's OK....I just have not entered our mortgage interest or any other deductions....don't panic.

3) Enter deductions. Your bottom line: Pay Federal taxes = $1800.

Questions:

Are you rich? No we are not rich. We barely pay our bills.

Next Question: No, we or Jess did not claim too many deductions

Last question please!: Well, that extra income was nice but it not like we are rolling in the cash!

WTF? I mean.....I had this money spent! Don't say what Jess said...."You always spend money before it is in your hands!" I have NEVER not received a return! NEVER!

So how do you propose I find money to go to Vegas for Alicia's wedding? Odd jobs? Babysitting? Maybe I could get a job watching the Seven Seeds. How bad could it be? Then again, I have read this blog religiously...those kids would kill a weakling like me. Need a new plan. I welcome your comments and suggestions on how I can make up this deficit.

On the brightside, we will receive a $1300 return from Wisconny....so I suppose I am only out $500 but being out is being out. I should have listened to Al and folded when I had the chance.