The Orracle

Super Justification

2012-02-06T10:51:00.000-06:00

Justification. I am the king of justification. Whether it is justifying on how badly I need something and the money used for it to be legitimate or whether it is an occasion to go overboard on food. It seemed that even before I changed my lifestyle, I looked forward to those occasions. When you feel badly about how you eat or how you do not take care of yourself, those days are your days to say that you deserve it. The only happens once a year, right? I used to eat Super Bowl quantities of food EVERY day….but on Super Sunday, it was OK in my mind.

So many people use the Super Bowl to go crazy. Bob Wright of Hilton Head Health gave statistics on their daily blog about how many tons of chicken wings would be eaten on Super Sunday.

Does a lifestyle change mean no more wings? Does it mean no more indulgences at all? Of course not. If you deny yourself completely, you will be setting yourself up for binges and situations you will later regret. I do think that a lifestyle change means you should moderate yourself even on those days. Find some healthy alternatives to take up some of the bulk but still enjoy those favorite items.

If you are like the guy below, I hope you planned for it. I hope you do not find yourself in a situation where you regret where you allowed yourself to go. No matter if it is an event like a Super Bowl party, a holiday with family or just a comfort food day, plan for it. When you plan for it, you have an understanding of what you will allow yourself and can govern your behavior on that. It should be no different than a goal when you hop onto a treadmill. You get on knowing what you want to accomplish from a time, speed and distance perspective. When you reach that goal, you are done. Treat these special events the same way but know what ‘done’ is before you get into the situation and have a pile of bones 8” high on your plate. Plan, regulate and move on. If you follow that, you will not be where you beat yourself up. You will not put yourself into a mental hole. You are living the change.

2012-01-06T06:00:00.000-06:00

I am looking to challenge YOU! Everyone wants to start the year off with wellness and we all know that the gyms are just a little bit busier right now. Sometimes, we get in a rut though. Maybe we just don't want to do the same workout. Maybe we do not want to go at all! We need a push or a shove in some cases. I know that I respond to support and people around me. I have a perfectly good treadmill in my basement in front of a 92" ceiling projection movie theater. I rarely use it. Instead, I drag my butt to our local gym (I live in a small town). I go to the New Richmond Centre which is a GREAT facility! It has more of a community feel than many of the big box, corporate owned fitness centers. Why do I go to the Centre? I am more likely to push myself on that treadmill when someone is right next to me or behind me. I am more likely to run longer and faster. I assume they are all comparing themselves to me....which is probably just a bad case of narcissism but it works. I love it when someone gets onto a tread next to me after I have started and hangs it up long before I am done. YES! I WIN.....it is just unfortunate that they did not realize it was a contest!

That push or goal can come in many formats. If we set our own goals and have nobody to watch us or cheer us on, some of us might struggle to maintain them especially when the excitement of the new year has passed and we could lose sight of that resolution.

Back on 12/30, I posted about a site called FLEETLY. I am currently doing the Winter 100 Mile Challenge. For this one, I need to run 100 miles between January 1 and March 31. It tracks your progress and gives medals for so many different milestones.

I think the neatest thing about this site is that you can link to friends. That is a great way to hold each other accountable!

I am asking for YOU....right NOW.....to go and join Fleetly and sign up for a challenge. It could be a full year long challenge or something more immediately measurable and attainable to follow our SMART goal direction.

If you are a local here in New Richmond, sign up for a contest and tell me when you are headed to the Centre and I will do whatever workout you choose. Possibly even Zumba at which I would struggle not physically but with coordination. I will do whatever you choose.

Even if you are not here in New Richmond with me, sign up and link to me. Challenge me to a challenge with you! We do not need to be together....we do not need to be at Hilton Head Health and we do not need Jeff, Adam, Amy or Amber to be there. We can own this!

What are you waiting for?

Sign up

Link to me (Lyle Orr)

Let the games begin!

Exclusive....Before and After Pictures at 8 Months!

2012-01-03T23:28:00.001-06:00

If you are starting a journey this week with the ringing in of 2012 or part way through a journey much like I am, let these pictures show you how much you can really do in a short period of time. I am not done with my transformation. I have some pounds to lose still as you can see in the pictures. Still, looking at the difference of where I was in 2009, 2010 and early 2011 compared with today, I cannot help but be just a little bit proud of myself! More importantly, I want YOU to know that you can make small changes that over a short period of time (8 months) like I have that will in turn, make a MAJOR difference for YOU too!

I am excited to know where I will be on my 1 year anniversary of visiting Hilton Head Health on April 24.

An Unhealthy Man On a Cruise - April 2008

An Unhealthy Man With Dr. Opheim (College Choir Conductor) - May 2010

An Unhealthy Father with Ashlie...

Black's BBQ in Lockhart, TX - November 2010 (yummy though!)

A Sick Puppy....(not the dog....ME). Christmas 2010

March 2011....A Throwback...Just About Rock Bottom!

March 2011...Last You'll See This Guy! DJing a Party

1 Week Before Leaving for Hilton Head Health...373 Pounds

The Beginning....Feeling GREAT After 1 Hour With Karla Doing Some Cardio Boxing at H3!

Finishing My First 5K With A Co-Worker....down 100 Pounds That Day!

Celebrating With A GREAT GUY at H3 After Devin's Dash - My 2nd 5K with Hardware!

January 3, 2012 - Wearing My Pre-H3 Pants and Shirt

Just a Little Extra Room...

Old Clothes...54" Waist (worn below belly) and a 5XL Shirt!

My Pre-H3 Belt....I Was On The LAST Hole!

The NEW and IMPROVED Orracle!

Now 120 Pounds Less

38" Waist (Still below the belly!)

XL Shirt Size

New Year, New Goals To Keep You Motivated

2011-12-30T00:14:00.000-06:00

I have to say that I have hit my major goals that I have been pushing for since my visit to Hilton Head Health in April/May 2011. I have never really stopped pushing and certainly have not regressed in any manner. Lately though, I have found myself with some distance goals in mind but that was it. Something has been missing.

Tonight I was at a sporting goods store which actually is dangerous for me now since so many things are appealing and fit my new body that I could easily spend $500 and not break a sweat. I saw ski boots and thought I'd look at them.

Some of you know that in high school, I was an avid downhill skier with my buddies. I found that after college as I gained weight, I could barely get ski boots buckled around my legs until the point where it was completely impossible. I have wanted to ski with my kids for years but have not been able to.

I tried on a few boots tonight and unfortunately, none would close around my legs. It is good though because I would not be tempted to spend the $300+ on them right away. It is a little disheartening since I really wanted to ski this winter. The best thing about it is that I now have a new goal to reach! I needed this!

Now as we move towards 2012, it is time for you to find your goals. Call them resolutions or whatever you want but make them. Make them SMART goals!

Specific.....Measurable.....Attainable....Realistic.....Timely

I think most importantly, they need to be behavior based goals. This was one of the most critical things I took away from Adam Martin's goal setting class at H3. Don't think about numbers or sizes. Think about things you want to be doing as a goal. For me, skiiing is a behavior based goal.

Think about using a website to help you reach your goals. A while ago on www.h3daily.com, Amy Kelderhouse posted about a goal setting website called STIKK.com. I like the idea behind this site!

One that a co-worker showed me today is one to track your activity where you can join challenges of various levels and where you earn points for activities. These points drive your 'fitness level'. I really like this site for creative workout ideas for when you are having less time, traveling or just need a change of pace from your normal routine. Here is the link to this site which is called Fleetly and free to use as well. I like the ability to link yourself with friends on this site. Accountability is KING!

When you are standing at the bottom of a giant hill, the climb looks daunting. You know you can do it but it will be such a long, hard task. That is how I felt in March of this year before I started this journey. Now, it has been 8 months since the day I checked into H3 and time has flown by. That day, looking up at the hill seems like just yesterday. It has been easier to climb this hill than I ever could have imagined while standing at the bottom looking up. Don't let your mind get in the way of you taking that first step! This is YOUR YEAR! YOU have ALL the tools you need to start right now!

To everyone that has cheered me on this year and supported me, whether from work, home, New Richmond or someone I have met along the way, I am truly grateful for you and your support. I cherish each and every one of you for what you have brought to my life and I only wish I could repay every one of you back for the support you have shown me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Beat The Resolution Rush!

2011-12-09T22:02:00.000-06:00

Here we are in the middle of December, officially in Christmas mode (only allowable AFTER The ORRacle's birthday on the 8th). Those of you out there that have been giving yourself the, "I am going to start eating right and exercising on Monday" talk are probably now shifting to the, "I am going to kick my butt in gear when the New Year comes" talk.

I know. I have been there.

Why not start now? Does it mean you cannot have a nice Christmas dinner? Does it mean you cannot have fun on New Year's? Absolutely not! There is no reason to wait! Just think how much better you will feel at your health club having pushed through the beginning workouts BEFORE the newbie rush at the club on January 3. You will already be on the ground running!

This year has been the best of my life. I feel better than I can ever remember and love my new lifestyle. I have one regret about the whole thing. That regret is that I waited until April of this year to make the change. I have had amazing success but just imagine where I would be now if I had started last December at this time. My everyday life is so much easier and especially my work life. As I type this post, I am flying back from a business trip, sitting in an exit row seat. This is something I could have not done last December because I had to use a seatbelt extender. Back then, I could only imagine how freeing it would be to not have to worry about not getting an upgrade or sitting next to someone on a full flight. It stressed me out beyond belief.

Whether you just have a few pounds of 200 to lose, take that step today. Don't wait.....you will be glad you did it!

First Ever Thanksgiving Post

2011-11-24T08:25:00.000-06:00

I have been blogging for a few years but this will be my first Thanksgiving post. Sure, I think we're all thankful for our family, friends and our life we get to live in this country. I think many of us say they are most thankful for the day or two off from work and maybe the Tryptophan coma they put themselves into.

This year as you may suppose, my thoughts are running high on the thankful chart. I look back on the year that started rough for me with the end of a long, gruelling project at work in March. Then I realized I was at rock-bottom with my health and needed to make changes. I found Hilton Head Health. From that point on April 24, my life would be forever changed and it is something that I cannot express enough thanks for.

I need to start with my employer for granting me the leave of absence and work accomodations. Then add in my sister for helping me financially with the cost of going to H3. My wife and kids had to sacrifice as well with me gone for 28 days straight. Traveling for work has me home on the weekends at least but this was a full month of absence.

Now we come to the H3 staff. EVERYONE needs to get a mention. Bob for his wisdom and understanding, Beth for her good ear to hear my story, Adam for the fitness leadership and knowledge, Amber for being tough on us sick guys, Katie for being so awesome as a trainer in and out of the pool, Kat and Kelia for their awesomeness in keeping us happy while onsite. Christie and John at the front desk to help out with anything or just chat with when you are too sore to go to another workout. Karla gets a special nod because she is sweet, can cook up a storm and then kick your butt in Cardio Boxing which is my most favorite thing at H3! Louise for being so kind to chat with and also as a trainer...I miss doing step with her! Chef Jen for showing me that you can eat different food for 28 days that is healthy and tasty without any exception. Plus, she is a former Minnesotan...special in my heart. She understands us from up north! Alicia for her chat the day I made my testimonial....you made that easy and are a great asset to H3!

Jeff gets his own paragraph. When I went to H3 if you would have told me that my closest friend leaving would be a 22 year old guy that does ironman competitions, I would have laughed you off. Jeff is that guy. We hit it off in class with our mutual love of the challenge but also in how we enjoy the energy and dare I say cutting it up in class. I fed off of his energy and I think that is mutual. Then add in the @home coaching. I looked forward to our sessions which at first were keeping me stable and eliminating the risks of my upcoming weeks. In the latter meetings, it was more about success and just chatting about what he and I had going on in training and life in general. I could go on forever about Jeff but I will save something for later/

Now, we come to the amazing people I met at H3, Lifelong friends. Dale B, Kelly B, James W, Big Daddy, John, the man that showed me what a metabo-oyster is, my lady friends from North Carolina and Lousiana Lisa, Liz F, John D., Maglio C, Cari D, Chemain, the new friends I made from the cast of Heavy like Stacia, Julia, Johnny and Debbie plus so many others I know I am forgetting. Throw in the new crew that was there for Devin's Dash that knew me before I got there. Keep reading these posts and keep working hard! You inspire me knowing I may have inspired you!

This year with 118 pounds lost to date has been my best year. I feel amazing and can do amazing things. Thankful does not even begin to cut it. I look forward to the next year and the challenges I have before me such as losing an additional 60 pounds, transitioning to 10Ks, 10 milers and an eventual 1/2 marathon. Yes Jeff, a spring tri is in there too. I look forward to having amazing health as I turn 41 in a couple of weeks.

Thank you all for helping me make this monumental change in my life. Thank you for SAVING my life. That is something worth being thankful for.

I should save something for a New Year's post but I want to wish you all on a quest to get healthy and lose weight the courage, stamina and strength to beat your demons and kick obesity's butt! You have all the tools you need to do it.

Why A Pill For Everything?

2011-11-18T08:41:00.000-06:00

USAToday ran this story recently on rasining good cholesterol (HDL). We all know we need to keep our HDL higher and our LDL lower....well, we (I) know this now. When I got to Hilton Head Health (H3), I was surprised that the day I arrived, my HDL was 7. Just....7. Despite my total cholesterol being in a decent range, the fact that I had all bad LDL was not good news. To quote Bob Wright, I had lots of garbage (LDL) but no garbage trucks (HDL) to take it away.

Over the course of my stay at H3 for 28 days, I managed to raise my HDL significantly through diet and exercise. This is not something that is necessarily a common outcome at H3 since their nutrition limits us to 1200 calories a day. Given my starting point of 7, I guess even with those dietary restrictions, mine had nowhere to go but up!

When I read the story, I found myself with mixed feelings about it. Another drug is possibly coming available to help raise your HDL. That is just what America does NOT need....another pill to help accomodate their bad eating and fitness habits. Have Type II Diabetes....we have pumps, pills and shots. If you have bad cholesterol, we have pills that lower and soon pills that raise the good.

The piece that nobody seems to pay attention to in drugs like this is the risk of taking it. The story points out that an earlier CETP inhibitor actually raised the risk of heart problems.

Now, like obesity, I believe some people are just not blessed with the right genetics to fend it off. Same goes for limited diabetics. If your pancreas just does not do what it is supposed to, that is when the meds are a GREAT innovention in our lives. The problem with having a pill for everything is that it is far too easy to swallow compared to putting in some effort of eating right and moving your body.

Before jumping into a lap band, pill or medicine to address your cholesterol, weight or diabetes, give yourself one seriously honest effort at fixing it through diet and exercise. If that does not work after a truly devoted effort, then turn the page to medicine. You can do this like I have and feel so much better about it down the line!

Finding Pillars In Your Life

2011-11-02T22:40:00.000-05:00

Last week, I learned that my college choral conductor, Dr. Vernon Opheim passed at the age of 79. It the big picture of things, I was only with Doc for a few years in college and saw him a few times after college; the most recent being in May 2010 at his home in Tucson, AZ. Still, I think to how much I learned from Doc about music, about myself and saw how I wanted to live as a man. Doc was a pillar in my life. It breaks my heart to know I will never get to see and chat with him again.

I also look at the time I spent at Hilton Head Health. So many people there are top notch, loving caring people. The entire crew there represents a pillar in my life but especially Jeff. We connected and we celebrated making the change in my life together. Jeff is a pillar in my life. I continually look forward to the next race we might be a part of together or the next visit I make to H3.

My parents are also pillars in my life. I look at how they started their family at 16 and managed to build an awesome life for us through nothing but hard work and dedication to their work. There is so much I take from that kind of mentality every day.

My very own family represents a pillar for me. Jess for how hard she works and manages things while I am on the road. Ashlie for her talents and having the best parts of me in her character. Jake for being the guy that keeps us honest...always being real and honest about everything he says and does.

Obviously, we have these people in our lives that have touched us. Some by a lifetime of knowing them and some for brief periods of time recent or not. These pillars need to be our foundation of strength when times are tough. As I continue down my weightloss and wellness journey, I find myself looking inward and continually find these pillars holding me up...keeping me strong. I am doing this for me but I also do it for them.

Don't let these pillars collect dust in your memory. Keep them to the front of your mind whenever you find challenges or rough spots. Keep them to the front when you are succeeding too! Use them and the values they have brought to you personally to keep you strong.

Go Forward With What You Have Available

2011-11-01T00:20:00.000-05:00

I had a conversation with someone on my flight from MSP-FLL today about technology and how tethered we are to it. I need to come clean that for The Orracle, if not for technology, he could not pay the bills...but hang with me on this one. As I talked, it dawned on me on how much we concern ourselves with purchases around technology.

For example, those of you that know me understand how much I really dislike (cr)apple products. I would never buy an iPad. I still do desire a tablet. I really like the new Kindle Fire that is coming out for just $200 but with a smaller screen and just 8 GB of memory. Listen again...just 8 GIGABYTES of memory.

Go back to when we were in a space race. Our brilliant minds in this country used slide rules and their mind. Nowhere did they stop and say they could not do something or could not get by without bigger slide rules or slide rules with bigger numbers let alone calculators and 1/2" thick computers with Gigabytes of memory. No, they used the technology they had and made amazing things happen around them day after day.

In my case, I am consumed with possibly waiting for the 2nd generation Kindle fire to come out that will most likely have a bigger screen and 16 GB of memory. We are just not willing to get by with what is available apparently.

I think we can take the same analogy to healthy living and eating. Sometimes when we do not have the best food available or access to a top notch gym or even any gym, we just cannot make it happen. We are tied mentally to looking for that easier way to do it when a simple 'slide rule' will do. Unfortunately, there are wolves lurking on every TV station to sell you today's version of the Thigh Master or . They know what your mindset is! You have EVERYTHING you need to do whatever those gimmick items suggest they can do for you within your house already but it looks easier. It looks like you can have more success if you buy it, right?

Tomorrow, take what tools you have for dinner and for exercise and make them work. Don't wait until you have the perfect tool set to take your next step. Don't assume you need the gym. Make a slide-rule change tomorrow because what you have is exactly enough to do what you need to do tomorrow.

Finding a New Way to Think or React

2011-10-16T10:45:00.000-05:00

An interesting theme has developed with my day today. First, I was reading an article in the NY Times while my flight was boarding and landed on a business article about a guy named Dan Schneider, founder of SIB. He is a high school dropout that founded his first business when he was 16 and had his first store at 18. Since then, he has built other companies which brings me to his most recent. What the company is does not matter. He has some work practices that I find absolutely excellent.
1) Unless it is a dire emergency, nobody is allowed to bring bad news to him after 3 PM. It provokes a culture where people are motivated to leave good situations to share at the end of the day which is what will be on your mind when you go home to your family and friends.

2) When someone makes a mistake that costs them time or money, rather than rant, rave and swear (like he said he used to), he makes that person go buy everyone ice cream complete with toppings which they all sit around and eat as a team. Like he describes, "Even when a little league team loses, they get ice cream!" It changes the culture about how we handle mistakes and ties a positive to it. He said errors have dropped significantly which is the desired outcome. They have only had ice cream 3 or 4 times since the first time.

3) Lastly, he handles employee retention by rewarding employees that stay 5 years with $50,000 and again after each additional 5 years! WOW! This keeps retraining costs down as well as a positive motivation to keep employees engaged, doing their best job they can. In my line of work, ramping up new employees is difficult and then when they bolt after 1-2 years, you really lose more money and productivity than a company realizes.

Then, I jumped on the Gogo Inflight and saw that my buddy Jeff Ford posted a new blog about one of his recent half marathons. He talked about running with the outright women's champion and her awesome sportsmanship. I'd tell you about it but I think you should read it for yourself by following this link!

While I spent 4 weeks at Hilton Head Health, the piece of the journey that I did not expect was the 'SELF' piece. We respond to the condition of our mind. If our mind is not in a good place, we will have a tendency to treat ourselves or others near us poorly. Positivity counts. Find a new way of thinking like the examples above. It will pay back to you ten-fold. Wellness is a multi-faceted task to embrace!

How will you change the way you think or react starting today?

Beginning My Next Chapter

2011-10-09T23:31:00.000-05:00

Since finding my way to Hilton Head Health in April, my life has not been better. It was the beginning of this incredible journey towards personal wellness. We will call that chapter 1. My stay of 28 days at H3 was great and was very difficult to leave. I wondered how great it would have been to have been able to do a stay of 3 months or even 6 months as others have done. My success at home was just as great despite not being able to do it in a 'bubble' having classes with Jeff, Bob, Amber, Karla, Louise and others.

My leaving H3 had 2 key goals for the upcoming months.
1) No more use of a seatbelt extender on ANY airplane. I still carry the old extender with...more as a reminder of where I was.
2) Return to H3 to run Devin's Dash on 10/8/11 without walking Not only did I complete this but I did one on September 17th in Minneapolis. Placing 2nd in my age group at H3 was so uplifting and will push me to do more races and get faster!

Now with the goals met, it is time to start the next chapter in this journey. I have not yet decided on the goals which surprisingly is the most difficult thing for me to do. Keep in mind that the goals are behavior or activity based and not based on a number such as pounds lost or size clothing to be in. The weight lost and clothing changes are just the beautiful by-product of reaching for the behavior goals.

I know that my future goals will include involving others at work and my great friends that I met at H3, especially those that were on the TV show filmed there, HEAVY.

As I returned to H3 this week, I realized how many people are reading this blog or have watched my now very old H3 testimonial video on YouTube. I felt like a celebrity! A big thanks to Jeff for talking me up and using me as an example. I am so glad that Jeff is my at home coach. I want to thank everyone at H3, at work, in my hometown and my family for the support.

You all inspire me to continue this trek!

9-28-11 Red Road Rush Hour Rage by orr333 at Garmin Connect - Details

2011-09-28T08:51:00.000-05:00

9-28-11 Red Road Rush Hour Rage by orr333 at Garmin Connect - Details

Testing the autopost feature from my Garmin Connect to my blog. This is my ride today in Miramar. Ended up missing a turn onto 37th and had to ride the very busy Red Road for a while in rush hour. A little scary for a small town Wisconsin Boy like me! Times are bad because of too many streets to cross. I most likely will not ride this route again.

Find A Way To Stay Inspired

2011-09-23T12:49:00.000-05:00

Since my visit to Hilton Head Health, I have not had much of a problem staying motivated. I have had terrific success in weight loss now over 100 pounds. I can honestly say that most of that can be accounted for by my steadfast focus on what I eat. Bob tells us that it is 80% diet but I did not believe it was so true. Truth is, I have had patterns of good weeks and bad when it comes to working out. My travel schedule has been crazy and the hotel I stay at has really bad treadmills. I now have a bike in Florida so that will certainly help me get more workouts in.

For you, it may be that you have lost the inspiration you need to push through a workout or even start one. Last week before my first ever 5K, I purchased a Garmin GPS Watch.(Garmin 405CX). Since my purchase, I have used it on the race and 2 bike rides here in Florida.

For those that do not know me, I am a geek. Specifically, I am a data geek.....and I love toys. This is the coolest thing! It tracks your route, speed and split times between miles. I have not used the heartrate monitor yet, but am excited to add that component to it so I can not only see my speed, pace and elevation changes over time but my heartrate as well.

If you go to this link, you can see my bike ride from this morning. This link goes to my first ever 5K.

I have had a few rides/workouts when I was just struggling to keep the pace or intensity. This has given me that added new inspiration to push through. Go fast. Work a little harder. I don't want to look at those stats later on and see proof that I was dogging it! Maybe that is just my competetive nature mixed with a little OCD.

Whatever it takes, mix it up and find the tools or methods that make you push it and keep the inspiration! Do this whether you are fit and staying that way, or on a journey like me.

Confronting A Problem

2011-09-12T12:03:00.000-05:00

So many people face challenges with addiction today. Whether that addiction is substance or if that addiction is food, there comes a time when you have to own up to why you are where you are. I think back to some of the reasons I used to give for my weight gain.

“We were poor and I worked 3 jobs.”

“Money is tight so we have to buy cheap foods which are unhealthy.”

“My work is crazy and I have to eat out all of the time.”

“I don’t have time to work out.”

I used to say all of these things. Never did I admit to anyone that I would binge after going through one or sometimes even 2 different drive thrus! There were times that I could not decide what I wanted to eat so I would just visit both! Sometimes, I literally would realize how embarrassing it was to order that much food for one person and therefore would split it between 2 stops. I even ordered 2 drinks a few times to make it look like I was bringing it home to someone else. I even reached the point in early 2011 where I would rush out of work too late to get home for dinner but early enough to make a Chinese buffet or Old Country Buffet before they closed. Restaurants were chosen based on my knowledge that I would leave – not full – but completely stuffed. I knew who had the biggest portions!

WARNING: Prepare to wince and groan….I decided to add up a few usual stops for me at fast food restaurants. Note – I always would have diet soda (to offset of course) so no need to add into the calories.

McDonald’s. One of my favorite combinations was a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese combo which is 740 calories for the burger, 380 for fries (1120 total). But the meal would not stop there. With this, I’d probably get a filet of fish a well for 380 more. Meal total: 1500 calories.
Another order at McD’s was to ‘downsize’ my combo to the Big Mac. Then I’d have to add 2 additional sandwiches. Big Mac (540), fries (380), filet of fish (380) and topped off with a Mc Chicken (360). Total: 1,660.
How about breakfast at McD’s (sometimes in the same day as one of the dinners or lunches above). Steak, Egg and Cheese bagel (710), hash brown (150), 2 sausage burritos (600), large OJ (280). Total: 1,740 (that is a half of pound of weight for those playing at home)
Let’s change it up to Taco Bell. I have some favorites there such as a Grilled Stuft Burrito (880), 7 layer burrito (500), 2 hardshell supremes (400). Total: 1,780.
I could come up with 15 combos at taco bell – but let’s do one more: Two ½ pound cheesy potato burritos (1,090), volcano burrito (780), crunchwrap supreme (540), cheesy fiesta potatoes (270). Total (OMG….2,680).
Let’s try Taco John’s: 1 meat and potato burrito (520), small potato ole (480) 2 beefy burritos (880), 2 crispy tacos (340). Total: 2,220.
One more Taco John’s: 2 beefy burritos (880), 2 crispy tacos (340), regular super potato ole (1,090!). Total: 2,310
Burger King: Double Whopper with cheese (950), chicken sandwich with heavy mayo (850) and 1 double cheeseburger (450). Total: 2,250.
How about a sit down restaurant? Applebee’s (which incidentally is one of my favorites now for LOW calories meals). I used to get wings (710) and riblets platter (1,820). Total: 2,530.

I have not even started with the list I could create. What about business trips where there were fast food places that I cannot get at home? All the more reason to binge to try everything! I have not covered White Castle, Sonic or Wendy’s.

I realize that everyone with weight problems did not do this to themselves like I did. Chances are that except in rare cases, there was some reason a person gained so much weight like me. I get it….it is an addiction. It is also a beatable addiction. I crave these foods frequently. Just typing them out makes me salivate. Seeing the numbers also convinces me that I do not need it and I know I can live without it. In fact, I feel better than I ever did when I was eating like that on a daily basis.

It will be hard for me to press ‘PUBLISH POST’ on this. As I read it, it is utterly embarrassing how I treated myself. This will get posted though because I have found that talking about my past behaviors and writing about them is therapeutic. I have nothing to hide. The past is just that. I have today to deal with and will look forward to tomorrow. You can do the same!

"5 Reasons Why Flavored Milk Matters" Propaganda....

2011-09-05T21:41:00.000-05:00

Today at the Minnesota State Fair, we made an annual stop at the "All You Can Drink Milk" booth. This is a popular booth at the fair with roughly 15 lines of people minimally 10-15 people deep at all times. Most people are toting buckets of Sweet Martha's Chocolate Chip Cookies. For $1, you can have all the milk, white or chocolate that you can handle. With Jacob having been part calf most of his life and being a non soda drinker, this is his Mecca.

People Lined Up For AYCD Milk!

This year was the first time that I found propaganda in their space. Without question, the pressures being put on schools by people like Jamie Oliver as I talked about in this post are causing more than just regional impact on how people are thinking differently. I picked up a flyer titled "5 Reasons Flavored Milk Matters". Let's review them from a counterpoint perspective and see if they really have 5 valid points.

Nine Essential Nutients - It says right on the flyer that flavored milk has the same nine essential nutrients as white milk. So if it is the same, what is the gain here? No point.
Kids Love The Taste - Seriously? Kids love chocolate? I would never have guessed. Next they will start publishing studies that if given a choice, kids will choose cookies over fruits and veggies! No point.
Helps Kids Get 3 Servings A Day - Like #1, no different than white milk. No point.
Better Diet Quality - Kids that drink flavored milk meet more of their nutrient needs; do not consume more added sugar, fat or calories; and are not heavier than non-milk drinkers. This makes me want to scream! Flavored milk contains 10g added sugar than white milk for a 1/2 pint. That already disqualifies this. Also, to compare the weight of flavored milk drinkers to non-milk drinkers in terms of weight, etc is a farse! Milk drinkers or not, kids are eating junk everywhere so you are comparing 2 like groups! ABSOLUTELY NO POINT!
Top Choice In Schools - Low Fat chocolate milk is the most popular choice in schools, and kids drink less milk, and get fewer nutrients, if it's taken away. This is just a restated version of #2. Of course kids will choose chocolate over white! Maybe if the schools served up better food overall, those that dislike white milk won't be missing out so much. There is more than 1 way to get these essential nutients aside from milk without caving in with flavored milk every day. No point!

This all comes to you courtesy of the Midwest Dairy Association. A member of our community wellness group made a comment in a meeting that she did not feel flavored milk was the enemy. Maybe not completely but in the state of things with how our children eat, let's get balance back before we make that call. This could be the first generation of kids that do not outlive their parents in life expectancy. This is from a plethora of causes but right now we need big changes across the board. Yes, that includes removal of flavored milk.

If Jake wanted chocolate today (they were sold out), would I have said no? Absolutely not. This was the fair - a treat - a diversion from everyday life. That is what eating outside of the norms should be based on. Every day in school is a completely different story and why we as a country are so overweight. We have lost that sense of what a treat is. Our 90/10 split is more like 99/1 but in the wrong direction.

When You Really Think About It...

2011-08-31T23:18:00.000-05:00

I was watching a special on one of the CNN channels the other day. They were talking about a doctor that is pitching a staunch vegetarian diet to prevent future heart attacks in people having had one or more. He also was pitching it to have shown that people with artery calcification actually having it reduced or removed by following his plan.

I do not foresee myself going that far but knowing how I have changed my diet and life and how much better I feel, I do believe what he is saying. Even looking at former President Clinton you can see how much better he looks and feels by now following such a strict plant based diet.

He said something that caught my ear and I wrote it down.

"Heart disease could be as rare as malaria if we only put into practice what we already know."

If there was suddenly an outbreak of malaria in the US, we'd be nuts yet heart disease fueled by poor diet and obesity does not seem to have us up in arms. If malaria was present, we'd be demanding that somebody or some government body protect us!

When you really think about it....we should be up in arms about the trend in our country. I do not want you to think that I believe the government is the answer or needs to be the source of the solution. The solution exists. We just need to act on it.

When you really think about it, even at my company where we are perpetually the biggest fundraisers for the Alzheimer's Association in the Twin Cities, the cost of Alzheimer's pales in comparison to obesity. Disclaimer: I am not against the Alzheimer's Association at all and believe companies like ours SHOULD support it. As I think about the numbers that our fundraising team posted on the wall about the cost of Alzheimer's, it is staggering. Now imagine that number being tiny in comparison to the cost of obesity and all of the co-morbidities because it is tiny in comparison!

When you really think about it....this quote really sums it up. We can help ourselves not just with heart health but complete wellness. The tools exist now. Just implement them into your life!

Little of This, Little of That...

2011-08-26T15:54:00.001-05:00

As I get to know more people in our Florida office, the more I like it down here. The people in our office are SO warm and friendly. I want to welcome a couple of ladies from the Florida office to the Orracle pages! I am excited to share ideas and maybe start some walking groups down in that office.

A word on WHACK.... It looks to be spreading again! It is like Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution except just WHACK! HA! I love it when someone tries it and they say how much they love it. Better yet is when they say how good they felt that day and how they were not hungry. That is the beauty of Breakfast Whack. I literally don't leave home without it.
One thing that I was thinking about this week was how we are truly products of our environment and while we cannot control every aspect of our environment, we can avoid putting ourselves in situations that may become higher risk depending on who you are and what your vices are. If you take the steps necessary to control the situations you are in, you stand a much better chance of succeeding and meeting any goals you are trying to reach.

I also wanted to put a link to a great post by Bob Wright on the H3 blog related to the newest fad diet, the HCG diet. In South Florida, I have seen ads on TV for this and even had a conversation with a server at Red Lobster about it. At the risk of restating Bob's thoughts - I'll give you my perspective....

When I first heard of this, my first thoughts were related to the calorie restrictions. First of all, are you losing weight rapidly because of the drug or because of the calorie restrictions? Secondly, if this diet is so amazing, why do you have to restrict your intake so much? Lastly, what is their suggested plan for when you finish the 500 calorie regiment? My hunch is that you will go back to what you were doing before.

Now, even eating healthy, I could restrict myself to 500 calories. The truth is, I am not on a diet. I am living this way. There will be a day when I stop losing weight but continue to eat this way. It does seem simple when I think about it but before my eye-opening, life changing experience at H3, I like so many others just did not see this simple solution. We are blinded by the thousands of diets, books and TV shows with every other concoction for weight loss success when in reality they are just short term fixes and usually very restrictive.

Have a great weekend everyone! Keep thinking wellness and keep living well!

A New Favorite Restaurant!

2011-08-23T22:20:00.000-05:00

I remembered Bob Wright from Hilton Head Health talking about a great place to eat where everything on the menu was low calorie and made from real, healthy ingredients. I realized that place was Seasons 52 and they are all over South Florida where I have been spending much of my time. I was alone for dinner tonight and headed that way.

I liked the short but diverse menu. Every item is under 475 calories. I asked about the appetizers also and they also are all under 475 calories. Not wanting to eat 2 items at 475, I asked for specifics. Not only were specifics available, but they had the numbers for calories, fat and cholesterol! WOW! I knew I wanted the Snapper Piperade which is mentioned in this article. I was curious about the Chipotle Glazed Shrimp or the Buffalo Chili for an appetizer. The shrimp was 270 calories and the chili was 210 or 260 depending on the size ordered. I went for the chili which was possibly the most amazing thing I have tasted in ages! WOW! The waiter told me that the secret ingredient was Guinness.

The Snapper Piperade was 380 calories and served over a stack of marinated jicama, black beans, thin and crispy green beans and shredded red and yellow bell peppers.

If more people could taste this food, I think they would realize how GOOD this food can taste without blowing your budget on calories. Why do the Cheesecake Factory? Why do that to yourself when such amazing flavors and combinations await somewhere else?

Bob was (W)right again! This place is the real deal! I cannot wait to go back.

How Changing Habits Can Change How You Are Influenced

2011-08-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

As I flew back down to Fort Lauderdale this week, I checked my phone in Cincinnati to see if I could get a status of Jeff Ford's Timerman Half Ironman effort. I was happy to see that my ancient Blackberry was able to interpret the website and had status of the 1.2 mile swim and the 56 mile bike. Jeff was killing it. On the bike, he had a negative split with the 2nd half coming quicker than the first. I thought about him and his determination to keep pushing through such a gruelling course as he transitioned into the half marathon at the end.

As I thought about this, it made me think about how I view a race such as the Timberman now vs. how I might have viewed it prior to my visit to Hilton Head Health. The truth is, in the past, races like this, a sprint triathlon or even a 5K would not have crossed my mind and I certainly would not have had anyone to look up. This is mostly because I was not surrounding myself with people like Jeff. Even people I knew before such as a colleague in Richmond, VA that runs frequently and has run several races would not have discussed this with me in the past. What I realized was that my changed habits and new motivations have changed the people I surround myself with as well as the context of some of the discussion. It opens a new window to what is happening around me. This is not to say that existing friends and co-workers are any less important because they absolutely are not.

It makes me so proud to have selected Jeff to be my @home coach when I left H3i. I appreciate his level of effort to accomplish intense races like the one he did today finishing 18th in his division and 255th overall which included a large list of professional triathletes. Most of all, I enjoy having something new to anticipate and follow!

If you are an athlete or aspiring to be one like me, you might also want to check out Jeff's blog that chronicles his quest to compete in the Kona Ironman and discusses the importance of Crossfit Training. Check it out!!

Delta Forces Man To Survive On Pretzels!

2011-08-19T00:21:00.000-05:00

Today as I flew home from Richmond, VA, I had a very early flight and a short leg to Atlanta. I had a moderate layover but found very little decent, healthy food to eat in the terminal where I was waiting. I had checked my itinerary knowing that I was sitting in first to see if the longer ATL-MSP flight had food. It declared that lunch would be served. Knowing this, I decided to just wait for the flight and live on the banana I had on the first leg.

Once airborne, the FA came by with the usual peanuts, pretzels, twix, cookies and Sun Chips. I held off awaiting the choice of salad or sandwich. She never came back.

I used the lavatory and asked if lunch would be served and was shot down! OH NO! I am starving!

To hold me over, I had enough pretzels (45 cals per baggie) and peanuts (60 cals per tiny baggie) to get me through to MSP.

While I did not blow my calories out the door by just eating whatever she had in the goodie box, I sure did not get much. It reinforced to me that I should always double check with the gate agent first of all and secondly, that good food for the same calories is always a better choice. Whether it is between a bunch of peanuts and pretzels and a salad or between a quota of calories in fast food vs. a meal of filling food that prevents you from being hungry and at risk for a slip, picking the better or BEST is always the way to go!

Finding Something Normal

2011-08-14T11:25:00.004-05:00

The last four weeks for The Orracle have been kind of crazy. As I look back, my schedule has looked something like below (hang in there through the list - the point of the post is down there somewhere).

Sunday July 10 - Fly to Fort Lauderdale -work there all week

Saturday July 16 - Fly back home with one week at home planned and then back on the road

Friday, July 22 - my Father in Law, Dan passes away

Friday, July 22 - still have to DJ a wedding after such a bad day. Do this with Ashlie since Jess needs to go up to Duluth

Take care of 'home' while Jess is in Duluth. Friday, July 29 is the funeral in Duluth

Saturday, July 30 - DJ in the farthest reaches of Northern Wisconsin - work around funeral by staying up north, bringing kids to wedding.

NOW IT STARTS TO REALLY GET FUN!

Leave the wedding at 1:35 AM to drive home - arrive in New Richmond at 4:15 AM, unload truck, shower, pack remaining toiletries in my bag and head to airport. Fly to Fort Lauderdale on the early flight via Cincinnatti on July 31.

Work all week and fly home on Friday, August 5.

Saturday, August 6 DJ another wedding. Get home in the wee hours of the morning. Actually SLEEP this time for 2-3 hours and then get up to head back to the airport.

Sunday, August 7 - morning flight to Fort Lauderdale - stay there all week and fly home Saturday, August 13.

YOU HAVE REACHED THE PRESENT TIME

Monday, August 15 - actually go to the office here for 1/2 day, then flying to Richmond, VA.

Thursday, August 18, 6 AM flight to MSP via ATL. Back in the home office by 1 PM.

Friday, August 19 - meeting with a company in Minneapolis

Saturday, August 20 -another wedding! This one is in New Richmond thank goodness!

Sunday, August 21- Friday, August 26 - back in Fort Lauderdale

Sunday, August 28 - Friday, September 2 - back in Fort Lauderdale

If you look at this schedule, throw in a family death and all of the travel, you can see how personal events and a train wreck of a personal work/life schedule can put fitness and wellness on the back burner. The truth of the matter is that fitness and especially healthy eating is the one thing you can actually have some control over. This needs to be the one piece of 'normal' in your life. Let the the variable pieces do what they will. Know where the places where you might be in a tough spot with food and plan ahead if necessary. Find the 20 minutes needed for a good thermal walk at a minimum which is also a great time to clear your head of the other turbulence. If you can squeeze in a workout, better yet. Knowing you have maintained a healthy eating regiment through this is the piece of sanity that you can lean on and be proud of your strength to get through anything. I owe some thanks to my Wellness Coach, Jeff Ford also because he gives me that outlet to give up my thoughts and also something to look forward to. Do I want to let him down? No way!

So many of my friends at Hilton Head Health incurred weight gain because of taking care of a loved one or because of a death (and me also going back to 1991 when my mother passed) . These are the hardest times for us as loving, caring people but I wonder how we might cope differently if eating and wellness was not the first thing we chucked to the side of the road. We all know how much better we feel when we eat well and I think that might be true of our strength and emotions as well. Let the good food and fitness be our outlet. Don't cave in to the what we call comfort foods and fast food because it just plays a bigger role in bringing us down.

Wellness is the one thing you can do anywhere and any time. Like the song says, "Let The Rest Of The World Go By".

What Would You Take Away From A Stay At A Wellness Resort?

2011-08-04T00:22:00.004-05:00

My question seems to have a simple answer. Apparently that is not how everyone goes away.

Tonight I had my scheduled call with Jeff Ford, my At Home Coach and writer of a new blog dedicated to training and his personal goals of doing the Kona Ironman called 'Less Mileage, More Crossfit'. He said on the call that of the people he has been a coach for, I have been the most dedicated to the lifestyle that I learned at H3. I found that to be a tremendous compliment and somewhat hard to believe. Yes, I do live and breathe wellness, healthy eating and fitness once again in my life.

I feel like I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to spend 4 weeks at Hilton Head Health. To attend a program like theirs is not inexpensive. In hindsight, I'd say it is worth double what I did pay. When you decide to take that step to overhaul every aspect of your life, I feel you owe it to yourself to follow through not just now and then but with every ounce of your soul. I feel that the gift that anyone that has given themselves to attend H3i is a special one. You leave there armed with so much great information. You should live it and share it. Now, those of you that know me might get the impression that I am a bit of an extrovert. This is a possibility...and therefore talking about wellness and encouraging others is somewhat a natural trait that I have.

Will I slip up? Sure - it is going to happen. Even recently with some family events and a very hectic travel schedule my workouts have taken a back seat which makes me crazy.

I know other guests that have left H3 have maintained awesome lifestyles and just may not have been a part of the H3 @ Home program like I am.

If you are one of the past guests and have lost some of your drive, I encourage you to pull out your binder and read the notes and slides. Find that memory of what your stay was like and use it as motivation to kick it back into gear.

While I still find it hard to believe that I am the poster child, I accept the compliment....thanks, Jeff!

Who Hates Chain Restaurants?

2011-08-02T10:40:00.003-05:00

I am in Miramar, FL this week again. As some co-workers and I talked about my success in losing weight and the terrific plan I have in place thanks to my best friends at Hilton Head Health, I mentioned that I tend to eat mostly at chain restaurants. This co-worker reminded me about a past blog post that I could not find but definitely remember. She reminded me about how I used to rant about hotels referring me to 'great' places to eat only to find out it is a chain restaurant.

She is right. I used to go on and on about how stupid it was to eat at chain restaurants when you were in a new city. Certainly there are better places to eat than a chain! Think of the great BBQ I have had in Richmond or Memphis or numerous places in Texas. Think of the Southern Cooking I had the the Loveless in Nashville. Think about the special wings and fried tacos from Michael's on Main in Omaha. Yes, the mom & pop places certainly are tasty. That might have been part of the problem that brought me to H3 in the first place!

Before I shove the local joints completely under the bus, let's assume I could get away with ordering better food there. Still, it would be somewhat of a mystery if I actually could succeed and therefore avoid them. Now, I know if a place offers steak and fish that I can find something in the safe zone.

I have found the value in chain restaurants. Many now have nutrition information available on the menu or minimally on websites such as calorieking.com. Good luck finding out the number of calories in the buscuits and gravy or the catfish nuggets at The Loveless Cafe.

Yes, my position has changed. We have to change from time to time. We learn and grow with our maturity and knowledge. Even The Rube might suggest I have made some other funamental changes in the way I think about certain things.

With my travel schedule, I am now a junkie and a disciple of Applebee's and Ruby Tuesday or even Red Lobster. After being bashed in the 'worst places to eat out', The Cheesecake Factory has cried Uncle and announced their new Skinnylicious menu debuting in August and September chain wide. With 2 of 3 people in the USA being classified as obese, I think that this is a good thing. These places need to make this information known. The Rube may disagree with this but I am in full support of the new law requiring restaurants to have calorie information on all menus. People just have NO idea how bad the food they are eating really is. I do now and that makes my change of mind justified.

Do You Dream In Color or Miles?

2011-07-27T13:09:00.002-05:00

One of two things is happening to me. Either I am obsessed with making sure I get my training runs in for my first of two 5K races this fall or my entire mindset has changed.

I woke up this morning remembering a dream I had last night. I decided to run from the place where I had dinner to the gates of Sea World where Jess was going to see how late they were open.

Confession - I am beginning to think and plan a possible family trip to Florida and it is stalled because I do not know the school calendar for the year yet and it is driving me nuts not being able to plan this trip....this is where the Sea World comes into play. For those that do not know, I suffer from OCDPD....Obsessive Compulsive Disney Planning Disorder.

I ended up running a little too far and had to backtrack to the actual ticket counter. I ran all the way to the turnstiles. If you have ever been to Disney or Sea World, you know that those two locations are not always right together!

When I arrived, Jess was there and we decided we had time to do the park that night. Thank goodness! I love Sea World! She told me I had run 2.66 miles....to be precise. It was so effortless that I had to verify it with the sales clerk. WOW - I am really getting into this running. In reality, 2.66 miles is not effortless for me yet but I am working on that.

I tried to remember if I ever had dreams about food and now dreams of running might be replacing those. I don't remember dreaming about food before...but I can tell you that I had never dreamed of running before! I know that Hilton Head Health had a profound impact on me but I did not think they would permeate my subconscious too!

Cardio Kickboxing....Miramar 24 Hour Fitness Experience

2011-07-15T22:50:00.005-05:00

I paid for a week pass to the 24 Hour Fitness in Miramar this week because the Hampton Inn I stay at has crappy treads. I met a guy in the fitness center that weighs just 210 and even he said they slip under his running. JUNK!

So, I figure it is worth it to buy a week pass to the 24 Hour Fitness near the hotel. First of all, I really do not care for that club. I don't know if it is 24 Hour Fitness in general or just that location but it is not a friendly club and the equipment is practically on top of itself. They said enrollment drops in the summer....wow...I'd hate to visit when it is at the peak! It was a zoo in there.

I saw cardio kickboxing on the calendar for Thursday night.

First, I met a few dudes that were waiting for the class. I thought I would ask if they have taken it before. They had not but apparently thought they'd come out floating like a butterfly or minimally stinging like a bee as they posed and punched the air like Ali.

Their experience? Uh, they left halfway through...gassed. Goodbye!

Then I met the teacher...Ed. Appearance was that of serious steroid use. Said he was 49. Kind of a meathead. I asked if he used gloves or small dumbells. He said, "No way - it is way too hard the way it is!"

Hmmmm....maybe my friends at Hilton Head Health dial it in a little since most guests are a little soft in the middle. Maybe this class would be really hard for me.

MY experience? Not hard at all. I could have used weights. Shirt was only soaked about 1/3 the way down. The gang at H3 could just about soak my shirt all the way!!

Still, it was a good workout and changed it up a bit from what I have been doing so for that, I am happy. The best part might have been the girl next to me, thick accent - possibly like from Belarus or Russia.....she looked EXACTLY like Zooey Deschanel (from Yes Man!) - totally cute. She told me (hear the accent in your head) - "You do very good job!".

Thank you cute accent girl...you do very good job too!

No, HOLD the Firecracker....It Is SAFER!

2011-07-13T21:08:00.009-05:00

Tonight, I overheard something that shocked me. It perplexed me. It made me want to yell at the top of my lungs. It made me realize why this country is so sick.

I was at Ruby Tuesday's having dinner in Miami Lakes, FL. Ruby Tuesday's is becoming a new favorite when I am traveling because of their huge list of fresh fit sides and other healthy options on their menu.

Today I tried a new summer special item called the Seafood Mixed Grill. I had them 86 the rice pilaf and subbed an extra side in. For the sides I had their roasted spaghetti squash and broccoli. In the main dish it was a smaller cut of Mahi Mahi, 3 grilled shrimp and small portion of grilled salmon made it a SUPER healthy, low calorie dinner.

Back to the tragedy that happened next to me.

It was a family of a mom and three kids. The oldest child was a boy of probably 13-15 years old. He was chubby in all of the places it comes first....butt, chest, hips and tummy. Not grossly fat but certainly overweight. He must be getting picked on about it or is self-conscious because when the waiter took the drink orders, he sheepishly asked for a diet coke. The waiter left and the mom said, "The diet soda is more fattening than the regular!"

What what what?

There is NO way I could have heard that correctly. Maybe she was winking at him and just being sarcastic.

Is this the newest entry in the 'Eat This, Not That' book series?

This is better for you than that?

Now I would agree that water would be the best bet if we were playing Unwise, Better, BEST! **Incidentally, I had that shirt on tonight!!**

Later, the waiter came back and offered refills. The mother spoke up that he should bring COKE this time for her son, not Diet Coke. Picking my jaw off the table, I realized that what I heard the first time was accurate. She believed this. When the waiter brought the new glass, she ACTUALLY TASTED IT to be sure it was not diet! She was CERTAIN that the diet was a horrible choice her son had made.

The only explanations I can conjure up is one of three possibilities:

1) Good old fashioned ignorance. Let's call it 'A lack of education'. This is the main problem in our country when it comes to obesity and health issues.

2) Perhaps she thinks the whole 'Diet' label is a super secret conspiracy and it actually is worse for you!

3) Maybe it is all of the stories about how diet soda tricks the body into thinking that it is real sugar and makes you react in a way that makes you eat more. Perhaps it is a misunderstanding on the study.

I wanted to say something, politely of course....but I did not because if it is scenario 1 or 2, she would never listen. Even on the off chance she would have answered my query as to why she thinks that, it was too risky in the middle of a restaurant and probably not my business.

I have lived both an active, fit life and an unfit, unhealthy life. I know which is easier. I know what it is like to be picked on or judged. That boy was trying to take a small step to make a difference and he was thwarted. I have never been a sugar based soda drinker. I cannot imagine how much worse off I would have been if I had that as an addiction along with food. Food alone put me in a very bad place.

So I ask you....what would you have done? Would you say something or have asked? Would you have left it alone like I did? What if you were an expert in the field like Bob Wright? Would you have said something then?

I am still speechless.

A Unique Connection

2011-07-12T23:57:00.004-05:00

I have this odd feeling we've met before.

A friend recently pointed out that the TV show that was on A&E last year filmed partly at Hilton Head Health is now available on Netflix streaming.

I am on the road this week and so I brought an HDMI cable so I can hook my laptop to the TV in my room. I have stayed up WAY too late rewatching episodes this week. Two ladies from the show, Stacia and Debbie are friends of mine on Facebook. I watched their episodes first.

Keep in mind that the show was complete long before I arrived at H3 for my 4 week stay. Yet somehow as I watch I feel like I know them. I think it is seeing them eat lunch with Robert or weighing in with Bob, Adam or Jeff. Sitting in Beth's office chairs. Working out with Adam or the front desk staff. Seeing the hallways and knowing every inch of them. Knowing EXACTLY where they are by the picture behind them or the chair they are in.

It is more than that. I hear the words they say as they describe the challenges that being obese caused them. I understand that language. I know the scenarios they paint.

When I see how hard they worked, I remember how hard I worked. The sweat soaked shirts and that feeling of complete exhaustion as you pounded on the wall in cardio boxing. I can taste the saline pool.

Watching the episodes makes me want to go back to H3. How much would I have lost in 6 months? I am doing just fine on my own....killing it as Jeff would say but still I wonder how being there for 6 months would have been different for me.

Yes, I feel like I know Stacia and Debbie and the others too. I cannot wait for the big reunion at H3 for Devin's Dash in October. Then these feelings like we've met before will be for real!

For anyone reading this blog that wants to make a change....needs to make a change. I can tell you that there is no time like the present. The days go faster when you are feeling better and living healthier than the days when you keep thinking, 'I will start next Monday'. Just do it!

We Tried?

2011-07-06T23:22:00.003-05:00

I am deviating from my recent flurry of posts on health and wellness to comment on a story today in the papers about the Space Shuttle program.

The headline was suggesting the epitaph for the program.....

"WE TRIED"

Are they serious? The story refers to the shuttles as a failure to deliver cheaper space travel with a reusable vehicle. The program cost $196 billion originating back in the late 70's. First of all, let's compare that to the Federal Stimulus package that was going to save our nation. That cost us $787 billion and promised to keep the unemployment rate below 8% if I remember correctly. It saved a bunch of union jobs and for a good long while now, the jobless rate has been over 9%. I consider the stimulus a MAJOR fail. If my numbers are wrong on the percentages, I am sure The Rube will correct me. Back to the shuttle story...

There were 134 shuttle missions. I looked up the cost of the Apollo Saturn V rockets per launch (non reuseable) and loosely adjusted for inflation, it actually was cheaper at $111 billion which surprised me. Then again, the technology was a little less considering a calculator or cell phone today had more computing power than the computer on the Apollo missions. Furthermore, the Saturn V and capsule limited each mission to 3 people with little room to do experiments and studies. I think the shuttles were VERY good in that regard.

Lastly, they touted the shuttles as having cost 14 lives. Yes, it is sad. I think it is a miracle that only 3 men died on Apollo spacecraft (Apollo 1 fire in a test on the ground). I have read countless books by Gene Krantz and others of the early NASA days and they fully admitted that many of their decisions were by the seat of their pants. They were highly skilled and brilliant people but don't discount being lucky.

Every astronaut knows that they are strapping themselves to a controlled bomb. Given the opportunity and risk, they all go ahead to have that chance. Space travel is not trivial even with as many missions as there have been.

So, to the Space Shuttle program, I wish you well. I think you were a success. We cheer the triumphs and remember those that died doing what they loved. I have seen it launch from Orlando and once from Titusville. It rips on your soul as you watch that magnificent fireball reach into the sky. That is not failure in my book.

Burgers and Fries and Beers, OH MY!

2011-07-01T13:01:00.003-05:00

Fast food and beer? I saw this story today in USA Today. I am so torn on this decision. As many of you know, fast food was one of my biggest obsessions and vices. I LOVED….fast food. Pick a restaurant, any restaurant. I can name you my top 10 items right off the cuff. That of course was the ‘Old Orracle’.

On one hand, I think introducing beer and wine will exacerbate the problem of too many calories in a meal with the addition of the beer and wine. On the other hand maybe it will drive some parents away with their children which would be a good thing. Keeping that taste out of the mouths of our children would not be a bad thing. I realize there is still the drive thru to get a bag of calories. Speaking of the drive thru, does that mean I can get a beer to go….maybe I will reconsider my abstinence from fast food! Of course I am kidding.

One thought was about the wine. Are they getting ‘good’ wine or are they getting Mad Dog 20/20? Perhaps Mogen David or Boone’s? I can see some low-roller hitting the joint for a burger and some tater tots and throwing in some Mad Dog but any real wine snob would not drink those lowly wines. On the other hand, I highly doubt most of your wine aficionados eat many meals at Sonic or Burger King.

If times are really getting tough enough for fast food eateries to have to boost sales with alcohol, I guess that means we are eating less of that junk food. Maybe it is just the lack of money from the Orracle that has driven this deficit in their cash flow!

A Chip Off The BIG PICTURE!!!

2011-06-22T21:55:00.004-05:00

I found this story reprinted in the StarTribune today from the LA Times. I find it completely misleading! You can follow this link or you can just read it below since it is so short.

<from the LA TIMES>

Blame the potato chip. It's the biggest demon behind that pound-a-year weight creep that plagues many of us, a major diet study found. Bigger than soda, candy and ice cream. And the reason is partly that old advertising cliché: You can't eat just one. "They're very tasty and they have a very good texture. People generally don't take one or two chips. They have a whole bag," said obesity expert Dr. F. Xavier Pi-Sunyer of the St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York. In the new study, scientists from Harvard analyzed changes in diet and lifestyle habits of 120,877 people from three long-running medical studies. On average, participants gained nearly 17 pounds over the 20-year period. Potato chips were the biggest dietary offender. Each daily serving containing 1 ounce led to a 1.69-pound uptick over four years. For potatoes other than chips, the gain was 1.28 pounds. Within the spud group, french fries were worse for the waist than boiled, baked or mashed potatoes. By comparison, sugary drinks added a pound over four years and sweets and desserts added 0.41 of a pound.

Seriously? This is the biggest problem we have with the drastic rise in obesity? If the real problem is 'a pound a year of weight gain', then I guess I can go with it. Plus, it makes you think that soft drinks might just be OK. Guess what....they are not!

If you get some space to write a wellness column, use it for something productive like addressing the REAL problems! I think what bugs me the most is that scientists from Harvard analyzed data to come to this conclusion. They are probably tenured jackasses that have nothing better to do but spend some grant money on useless studies like this. I know the concept of 'tenure' bothers me but I know it bothers my buddy, The Rube too!

Why can't they spend their time and money studying and publishing something that stands a chance to change the knowledge level of Americans and nutrition as it relates to obesity? I could rant forever but I think I will just stop now!

Caddyshack....The New Nutritional Guideline!

2011-06-20T12:02:00.003-05:00

Who knew that Caddyshack had a line in the movie that would prove to be a healthy option?

When Spaulding Smails says, “I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips…..” and Judge Smails interrupts with, “You’ll have nothing, and like it!”

Judge & Spaulding Smails

This weekend, I found myself in another very high risk situation. Surrounded by family that is very supportive yet in an environment filled with buffets, pizza and other foods that helped me get to the unhealthy, old version of The Orracle of the past. Dinner in a restaurant is fairly simple. You can usually get a grilled chicken breast or small sirloin/filet, salad and plain baked potatoes (with lemon of course!). Breakfast is a whole different situation. While eggs are not horrible for you and omelets can be made with veggies galore, there is not a grilling option that you can assure yourself will be light on the oil. At 120 calories per tablespoon and 70 calories per egg, this can get out of control quickly. Then, figure it will come with a meat and/or toast which even dry is very high in calories.

Mrs. Orracle and I decided to pack a cooler with all of the ingredients to Breakfast Whack. We ate that before meeting our family for breakfast. I thought about testing the waters at breakfast and once I did, I was very happy that I had already eaten my Whack. I tried to get a poached egg or two. They did not do that but I could get them basted (WARNING!). An egg white omelet was not available either. You had your choice of grease, calories or fat with a side of grease.

I had nothing.....and liked it!

My sister commented how hard that must have been. I would not say it was hard. I felt fine. I was feeling full from my Whack. Was it difficult to sit and have coffee with American fries, omelets, biscuits and gravy and French toast filling every olfactory nook and cranny in my body? Sure. Let’s say for a minute I had the breakfast instead of Whack. Whack was roughly 300 calories. An omelet would have been at least 350-400 plus any extras such as toast at 100 calories a slice if eaten dry (and why would you do that?). Let’s assume I could have survived the breakfast at 550 calories (which might be pushing it). Is the difference of 250 calories that much of a deal breaker for me? Probably not. Could it bring back the taste of some old habits. You bet. Could it have been that it would not have satiated me like the well rounded Whack did? Absolutely.

The point I am trying to make is that we cannot look at the net calories alone. We have to look at where we’ll be after that meal. If that meal will leave you hanging and wanting more food sooner, it probably is not the best choice even if the net difference in calories is small. The food contents and plate design (¼ protein, ¼ starch, ½ fruits and/or vegetables) can make the difference down the road that day!

We can make significant progress in our battles to lose weight and be more healthy by making small adjustments. Just imagine what a difference a big adjustment or two like this can do for you!

Sugar Buzz!

2011-06-15T22:27:00.003-05:00

I saw today that the LAUSD (Los Angeles School District) decided to keep chocolate milk out of schools beginning July 1. This is a good move. For those of you that do not watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, the show was most likely one of the key drivers although another woman had been pushing for this for over a year.

In one episode, to demonstrate the amount of ADDED sugar kids in LAUSD had in one week, he filled a bus with the amount of sugar they were consuming. Pretty scary! It filled the bus and ran out the windows.

The one board member that opposed this change, proclaiming that a TV show host should not have that much influence over the board had it all wrong. She compared the amount of sugar in fruit juices that they serve to be eqivalent to the chocolate milk. The point of the needed change is not the total grams of sugar but the ADDED SUGAR they were getting.

A 1/2 pint of skim white milk has 10g of sugar. A 1/2 pint of skim chocolate milk has 20g of sugar. The juice she compared to had 20g of sugar also but assuming the juice was 100%, it was not added sugar. Now, we all know from what we learned at Hilton Head Health that the sugars and calories in juices need to be moderated too, but I'll still consider this a win! In the realm of Unwise, Better, Best, the chocolate milk is unwise, juice is better and white skim milk is best!

Since I spent 4 weeks at H3, I am so hyper-aware of the sugars and calories in everything around me. I am also very aware of the choices those around me make and have to bite my lip vs. speak out. I am just a short way down my journey I realize. I ended up where I was because of a lack of knowledge.

Thank goodness for people like Bob Wright teaching what he does and for people like Jamie Oliver for taking it to the airwaves. We are plagued by obesity and all of the co-morbidities in this country. Every small change like removing chocolate milk will help!

My First Week On The Road!

2011-06-09T09:22:00.005-05:00

This week I had my first opportunity to try out my travel skills since leaving Hilton Head Health. I find it surprising where my challenges were this week. I planned my trip to come early on Sunday which would allow me time to get to a grocery store. I did well on the plane but was surprised that the meals in first class do not have any nutritional information available. In that situation, go with what you have learned. There is no question that the chicken breast sandwich was the UNWISE or maybe just BETTER choice vs. the chicken breast salad. It was the BEST choice available. The dressing was on the side so I knew I could dip and spear. Fortunately, the tiny breadsticks had calorie information on them as did the brownie that I just looked at. Fortunately, chocolate is not my vice and it was fairly painless to let it slip away.

Let’s talk about groceries. Publix has horrible produce. Just junk. I managed to get apples, bananas, grapes, Rainier cherries and carrots with a new dip from Marzetti that is a greek yogurt, feta, dill dip and low in calories. I hope I can find that at home!

The eating out went well. I can always get lean filets, fish (especially here in Florida), salads, plain baked potatoes (with lemon....try it!) and grilled veggies. I did have a server at Bahama Breeze suggest that I have my fish grilled with olive oil because A) it has less calories than butter and B) the seasonings in the butter would add too many calories. Um, no….wrong and wrong. Butter actually has a few less calories and seasonings generally have none. Is it any wonder why our country is growing at the waist like it is? What I found amazing was how when I ordered FIRST as Bob suggested, every night, people in my group would follow my lead. More people would make healthier choices than those that did not. Many would just say, “I’ll have the same as Lyle!” I have traveled with these people before and KNOW how they normally would order. That is just amazing to me.

I worked out but was frustrated with the treadmills at the Hampton Inn. I think they have a weight limit of about 200 pounds as they slipped underneath me. I decided to not be defeated and hit the pavement. This is the first time I have walked/run on tar and it really beat up my joints. No more of that for a while. The rest of the week I just did fitball and resistance band stuff with dumbbells and managed to get enough work in.

The challenge came at breakfast. Two of my favorite items are the cheese omelet and the bagel toppers. Why did I even open the steam table cover? Still, I managed to have a poor man’s version of breakfast whack which was Total cereal, strawberry yogurt and a banana. Having the sweetened yogurt and the banana made it WAY too sweet compared to the Real Breakfast Whack but at 280 calories, it sufficed and filled me up. I really did not imagine that the breakfast would be my biggest challenge of the week.

One more night then off to home in the morning. I know where my calories have been but it feels like cheating when you eat out every night. I am curious to see if the scale shows what my food log says it should!

My next challenge will be in a couple of weeks when I do back to back 3 day trips to Cincinnati and Austin. I will be traveling with executives and will not have any opportunity to get fruits and veggies for snacking. Lunches will also be provided which means less chance to make a good choice. Control will be the key. This is my life though and I must learn to deal with every aspect of it. The great part about this week was that I proved that it can be done. Even though everyone has big eyes when you say you have to travel, knowing that it means eating out and in their mind, that means you have absolutely NO chance of keeping control, it is refreshing to know that it is possible with only a little preparation and knowledge. For that, I thank Bob Wright!

Something In The Water At Hilton Head Health?

2011-06-03T23:06:00.004-05:00

I know my time at Hilton Head Health (H3i) was life changing. I know that the change in me is likely related to the fact that 1) I was there for 28 days 2) It is a very well rounded program focusing on diet, nutrition education, fitness and mental wellness and 3) The people there were amazing and inspirational. That was my theory up until today.

Today, I decided to not pack a lunch. That also meant no metabo-meals to snack on. I had my Breakfast Whack as usual and then for lunch, I went to Subway with Spiffy. Safe there with a footlong turkey on wheat, no cheese, tons of veggies and just mustard for sauce. 560 calories.

On the way home....well, I got hungry. I stopped for fuel and smelled a nearby Burger King.

--->Uh-oh<---

I started driving and soon found myself at Wal-Mart buying carrots and an apple. Slip, lapse and collape averted.

Now, the theory I posted above certainly was not the only factors at work. I have since given this some additional thought and have arrived at a few more ideas.

1) As the title suggests, there is something in the water. I Sure drank enough of it while I was there!
2) The reflector on the 'reflector tree', turning point for all of our after meal thermal-walks may actually be emitting some kind of mind-altering ray.
3) The pool at H3i was reported to us as being a saline pool. Perhaps that is a cover-up for some other kind of salt in the pool that enters you via osmosis (or via choking from Katie pushing you to do one more lap when you cannot swim well).
4) Could it be the Balsamic Pepper sauce that we became so addicted to?
5) Perhaps Chef Jen is behind this! She is such an amzing chef and extremely friendly that we'd never suspect her of being behind something like this!

I don't know the reason but I can say this....prior to my visit to H3i, even if I was doing well on a 'diet', I would not have avoided eating something bad. It might not have been fast food but probably would not have been 'best' or even 'better'.

No matter their tricks, I hope it never wears off because tonight when I felt better having had something healthy, I felt fantastic knowing I made the best choice I could have.

Breakfast Whack Spreading Like Wildfire!

2011-06-02T22:23:00.002-05:00

Like a bad rumor, the concoction now known as Breakfast Whack is catching on. From its roots to person unknown at Hilton Head Health, it had a following. The following was somewhat limited to H3 guests and past guests however.

In a recent post, I illustrated the way it obtained the catchy name, Breakfast Whack. Since then, my wife's coworkers have started eating it and loving it. Rumor has it that their families have even started on it. Could Breakfast Whack be the next Facebook, multiplying like friend requests to old girlfriends? Just maybe.

Today at lunch, I had something that was not as pretty as Breakfast Whack but it sure was tasty. It just might be the incarnation of Lunch Whack....but Jess will be the judge of that!

The Orracle Goes Viral!

2011-06-01T20:27:00.002-05:00

Disclaimer: I understand that a title like that from me would usually mean that I am sick or have some kind of actual virus. That is not the case today...

Since my friends at Hilton Head Health posted a link to my last blog entry on their facebook page, potentially HUNDREDS of people have found my blog. That means it is time to turn up the intensity and get some more posts out here!

Besides getting a haircut today which along with my glowing Hilton Head Island tan makes me look like a movie star, I have really nothing else to say today! So, I found a little viral video, food related of course for your viewing pleasure. I think this dog just might need a short stay at H3 to control these food driven emotions! ENJOY!

Living Outside The Bubble

2011-05-31T21:16:00.005-05:00

As many of you know, I spent 28 life changing days at Hilton Head Health Institute. Even though you are permitted to leave anytime you'd like, you spend most of your time at the facility. I rode my bike up to the main building from my condo and spent the day there. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and a full slate of fitness options all day long. Even on days when you might not be at the top of your game and decide to take it easy, you find it pleasing just to stay at the main building maybe just laying by the pool or in it. Like monkeys in a cage, your internal clock just knew when it was almost 3:30. Feeding time at the zoo. More appropriately, metabo time. If you were by the pool, you started looking for Adam or one of the other crew from the dining room to bring out the tub of snacks. Having that set plan of food and exercise in a place free of readily accessible stockpiles of chips, wings and drive thru windows is a good place to be. Unfortunately, we have to leave the bubble eventually.

I felt good about coming home after my 3rd week but was thankful to have a 4th week there.

My first time alone in the real world was at the Hampton Inn by the Savannah Airport since I had a very early flight on Sunday morning. Upon entry to the hotel, a tray of warm cookies greeted me. Then, needing some water, I ventured to the 'Suite Shop' to browse. There, I was confronted by frozen dinners (a.k.a. empty calorie food), ice cream and energy drinks. I decided to head upstairs. In my room, to thank me for being such a loyal Hilton Guy, I received a calories free thank you card along with a bag a Doritos. Nice. I felt like a WWII Bomber flying through flak and shrapnel. Fortunately, I planned for the high risk situation by bringing a couple of extra metabo meals as snacks. Staring down the Doritos, I ate my apple and cottage cheese.

Now that I am home, I have found it to be A-U-T-O-M-A-T-I-C. "Breakfast Whack" every morning. Jess named it, not me. What is it?

1/2 cup of Fiber One Honey Crunch

1/2 cup of 1% cottage cheese

1/3-1/2 cup of plain, nonfat yogurt (premixed by YOU with splenda and vanilla extract)

top with cut up strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and/or raspberries

Jess called it Breakfast Whack because the first time I told her of my new obsession, she said it sounded "WHACK" but now she is a believer too!

I have my metabos and a good lunch. Dinner selections have been from the Hilton Head Health cookbook and their blog which is called H3 Daily. GO THERE!

Next week, I travel for the first time. I have no fear. Traveling smarts were just one more lecture given by the amazing Bob Wright (picture with The Orracle below). It will be just like being at home. Planned out, researched and disciplined!

I do have a long road to go but never have I felt this confident in my abilities. This is not a diet. This is a lifestyle....and one I can live with.

Lousiana Lisa Saves The Orracle's Butt....Literally!

2011-05-11T16:31:00.000-05:00

This post must come with a TMI warning.

Continue reading at your own risk!

I meant to post this last week but the 4-5 fitness classes, 6 eating times and the need for 10 hours of sleep a night have certainly hindered my ability to sit at a computer.

I was walking pretty gingerly after dinner. Lisa asked if my muscles were pretty sore. Sure they were but the real problem was chaffing between my legs. Too much time on the treadmill I guess. She offered to drive me to my cottage which was great. She said then that she was going to CVS to get me something. I tried to tell her NO but she would not have it. She returned 20 minutes later and handed me a bag but would not offer any payment for the 'medicine'.

What she bought me was Butt Paste! It is actually used for babies but apparently, it works for 40 year old babies too! WOW - one treatment before bed and I was healed completely by morning ready to bust it on the treadmill again.

So, to my friend, Louisiana Lisa, thank you for literally saving my ass!

Cruising In Week 2!

2011-05-03T20:12:00.005-05:00

Pictures as promised....some comments at the bottom - ENJOY!

A medium sized gator with mouth open

Dr. Frasier Crane

Alert Little Gator!

Baby gator sunning

Chef Jen teaching a cooking class

A sweaty Orracle and Caroline after a little class

Caroline was one of my favorites from my first week! What a class act - especially being willing to take a picture with such a sweaty version of The Orracle!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hi everyone! I have survived my first week at H3i and feel like a million bucks. I have had some monster workouts and am enjoying my time immensely. The people here continue to prove to be amazing and inspirational. Tonight, we had Cordon Bleu for dinner that was to die for. For lunch today was a giant burrito with enchilada sauce. I cannot get over the food quality and how maintaining on 1,200 calories a day is even possible for a big sexy dude like me.

The cooking picture is of former Minnesotan and Head Chef Jenn. Besides maybe having a little crush on her, she is a GREAT cook! In this class, she showed us how to make side dishes in a healthy way such as mac and cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, fried rice, sweet potato nuggets and a fun lemon custard that we baked. I never knew home-ec could be this great!

I will try to keep the posts and pics coming as I continue my 4 week journey here at H3i. Thank you to all of my supporters and well-wishers. You keep me going when it hurts....and it hurts quite a bit of the time.

Thursday Already!

2011-04-28T06:29:00.003-05:00

3 days complete and 25 to go counting today.

I wondered why more people did not blog their time here at H3i. I think I know now (not that I intend to let it deter me entirely). You are busy. It is roughly a 7 AM to 7 PM sprint of activity, lectures and food. YES food! I never thought 1200 calories a day would cut it but it does. I have been under a couple of days yet the food is fantastic. Eggs benedict, chicken parm, french toast, pork tenderloins, etc. It is the portions, quality ingredients (no empty calories) and the all important "metabo-meals" 3 times a day which I find to be too much. Metabos can be any combination of items up to 200 cals for men or 100 for women. I am trying to stick to 100 just to eat something. Choices are pears, bananas, apples, oranges, grapfruit, grapes, rice cakes, yogurt, carrots, celery, dip, cottage cheese, low sodium V8, kiwi, applesauce and more. Some of those items are so low that you have to take 3-4 items to hit your caloric intake for that metabo meal.

The classes are fun and new. My favorite is called ULTRA CIRCUIT. Odd numbers in the cardio room and even numbers in the resistance/weight room. 2 minutes at a station doing as many reps or as hard as you can push on cardio and then you change. ANYBODY can do ANYTHING for 2 minutes! Before you know it, it is time to stretch and you have drenched yet another t-shirt.

My soreness is subsiding although I did get a little sunburned in a pool class yesterday (and DESTROYED my shoulders)! I never thought a pool class could gas me like that!

I promise some pictures coming soon. I brought the camera up here today although we are supposed to get some of the storms that have blasted the south this week today.

Off to breakfast....I wonder what it might be today?

The Orracle is Off the Grid...

2011-04-25T19:54:00.004-05:00

Off the grid? Well, so to speak.

Some of you, actually very few of you know where I am these days. I was not completely open and advising everyone of my upcoming leave of absence from work.

You see, in the nearly 11 years that I have worked at my job, it has been nuts. Al knows this. Many others know that. I enjoy working there but have seriously neglected myself. At 40, my health has been spiraling our of control. Could it be stress? Too many hours? Maybe -but no more excuses.

On Easter Sunday, I flew away from my awesome family down to Savannah, GA via Atlanta. 2 flights, open first class seat next to me on both legs - that NEVER happens - but back on the story.

From Savannah, I took a shuttle to Hilton Head Island and more specifically, Hilton Head Health. This is a wellness resort / spa. I will be here for 4 full weeks finding the tools and respite needed to make a complete behavioral change related to fitness, wellness, health, SELF and nutrition.

Hilton Head Health Institure (H3i) in a nutshell is a bootcamp but before you start thinking about Jillian and Bob (Biggest Loser), imagine it with super nice, concerned people that want nothing other than you to get better. There is a Bob here (he has been here for 30 years) and a Beth but no Jillian. Adam and all of the others are fantastic also.

Today was day 1 of 28. Never did I imagine I would survive and be happy on 1200 calories whilst having my rear end handed to me in fitness classes. I cannot imagine how day 28 might feel in comparison. With any luck, I will always remember what day 1 felt like so I never put myself in this position again.

So watch this space. Pics to come of the facility, gators that roam freely, possibly food, staff, WONDERFUL friends and much more.

Now I lay me down to sleep....quite early....but in less than 12 hours, more instructors await the chance to push The Orracle to the limit.

My Nemesis

2011-03-10T22:55:00.002-06:00

Each year, I have this relationship with a man. No, not that kind of relationship, not that there is anything wrong with that (copyright Seinfeld). This relationship starts in the autumn. There comes that night, maybe on a drive or just out with the dogs for one last time where I spot him. Orion...the constellation. I see him and I know any seemingly tolerable weather is about to be lost to him and his time in the sky. Still, he is low in the sky and I am still not too angry with him.

Then the brutal force of winter sets in. Orion sits high in the sky. Taunting me. Not caring if I hate his guts for the onslaught of frigid temps and feet of snow he has brought our way. There is nothing I can do but wish I had my own bow and arrow that would reach him and blow him from the sky.

Tonight I am in Key Largo, FL. I stood on my balcony and looked out over the water. I saw my friend. He is starting to dip lower in the sky. I thought it could be my imagination since the weather here is a bit nicer than at home but I knew that even in the frozen tundra, he is losing his grip and position in the sky. Slowly, the Earth pushes him back down to the horizon, for the other half of the planet to begin seeing. Maybe he is hated somewhere in that hemisphere as well.

For now, I will watch him slipping downward while my thermometer inches upward. By June, I will have forgotten about him. Then fall will come, all too soon and he will peek at me again. Pissing me off because I know that summer and fall are about to be whitewashed away.

The Waffle House

2011-02-11T13:29:00.003-06:00

As most of you know, I am anti (cr)apple. Therefore, no iPhone. On the same lineage, I was feeling the same towards the whole smart phone revolution. I admired my co-workers HTCs and Driods. I listen to Howard Stern talk about his change recently and loving it.

I just do not see the value of paying $30 a month to have internet between the places that you have internet. Same goes with texting. It is becoming the blight of our country first with kids/teens and now with the parents too. If Darwin has it right with the evolution bit, we'll be a species that cannot talk within 20 years.

What's with the title you say....

Well, Jessica's phone really was a piece of crap. She'd get an alert to voicemail and they would be over a week old. Some calls would not even ring through to her. Basically, it was time to replace the phone.

Into the T-Mobile store I go. I ask for the phones that do not require data plans. My salesperson, Leah, points me to all 6 crusty old phones in the corner. The conversation goes through the paces where I explain how we really do not need touch screens or data plans but I humor her and tell her to sell it to me.

Inside of 15 minutes, she has me ready to come in this weekend for the big 'free phone 4G event'. All phones (with contract extension) are free - even the HTC MyTouch 4G. But I was still waivering on assuming an additional $30 or worse yet $60 a month for data plans if I included Ashlie. She checks my account, nearly falls over having not seen anyone that had been a customer of T-Mobile as long as I (count time with Arial Communications and Voicestream).

She explains that with the texting I have on Ashlie's phone plus the amount I am paying for Jessica's ad-hoc texts, if I would change to their new promo-plan with the same minutes and cost as the plan I am on, the data plan drops to $20 per line and ends up being a net increase of about $20 a month. Now who cannot afford that? Add in the benefits of GPS to two women in my family that have challenges getting from Hudson to New Richmond. Add in the fun things like the bar-code scanners, video, good pics, etc. SOLD!

I brought Jess and Ashlie by last night to pick their phones. Thinking it might be pretty busy tonight, I stopped this AM and waited amost an hour to get 2 new smart phones (that I would NEVER own, right?).

The story is cute that I waffled....sure. I think what made me the most happy was to see a line for phones that were not filled with iPeople looking for iPhones and that these phones are 4G and (cr)apple is just 3G and we have flash support and so on and so on.

The biggest question is: Should I have bought one for The Orracle too?

A New Fan?

2011-02-02T23:18:00.005-06:00

I looked at the computer this morning and saw my shadow (2/2 for those of you that don't get it)...looks like I can blog again.

After some requests from Paul (Mr. Baseball) to start blogging again and then today with a loose comment from my bossman about my blog, I had to come out and dust off the old keys. First of all, to the bossman, I cannot find ANY post related to work. I generally do not post about work so I think you were making it up just to get me concerned. If you are actually reading this, I am sure this post will get a mention...

So long since my last post....yet not much has changed. Same project at work...the one that does not seem to die but actually might! Rumor has it that Spiffy and I will be working together on the next one. If you remember, he is the one that likes to counterfeit money. I just hope he does not try to take me down with him. He and I have not worked directly on the same project in a while and so I am really looking forward to it.

The weather...what is to say there except IT SUCKS! I am really tired of winter. As I type this, my house is popping and creaking over by Ashlie's room. I am sure it is just the frigid temps but I am concerned about the damm ice dams. I am going to have to try to do something about those this weekend. One by my pool room is at least 10" thick. I have not been over by Ashlie's room as the snow is just too deep to get around the house.

Vacations....we love vacations. Nothing planned officially. We are thinking of taking a cruise or something around spring break which is very early for our kids this year but am waiting on a few 'things' before I can book. We have decided to plan our dream vacation though. I should make a post entirely about it....a teaser is fair though, don't you think? We are fortunate that my work travel has enriched my Hilton account with lots of points. I need some more but am in a position to do 2 full weeks at a category 7 resort. SO....we are planning to do a trip to Bora Bora and Moorea in French Polynesia. Hotel (which would be covered by points) is about $5000 per week there. If you've never seen pics, just google it. It is amazing. The trip would have us fly to Tahiti and then hop to Bora Bora. From Bora Bora, we'd fly back to Tahiti and then take a boat/ferry to Moorea as it is the next island to Tahiti. More to come on this. It could happen as soon as this fall but expect it to be the spring of 2012.

I am thinking of getting a new phone with a camera. I think having that to take a picture of something that prompts a blog in my head will help facilitate actually getting it to the page for all 3-5 of my fans.

Anyway - take care. To the boss - I hope you read this. Al - I hope you come back even though you are full blown on Facebook now. Paul....well.....this is for you I guess.

Over and out....The Orracle.

More Proof that (cr)Apple is Evil

2010-11-12T11:15:00.003-06:00

Excerpt below lifted from a CNN.com story on the first Apple created, the Apple I. Originally sold for how much? That's right, the price of The Dark One, Lucifer himself. $666.66.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/innovation/11/12/apple.computer.auction/index.html?hpt=C2

Of course in normal Apple fashion, it will sell to some Lemming for an unrealistic price, currently projected to be in the $160,000 range.

You can't make this stuff up!

The Rule

2010-10-29T23:32:00.002-05:00

DECLARATION

Let it hereby be declared an official rule, throughout the land that no Christmas tree or decoration of any kind may be put up until after Lyle Orr's birthday.

Time For A New Amendment!

2010-07-13T23:23:00.002-05:00

It is time for our country to adopt a new right to add to our bill of rights.

"Owning a hybrid car of any size or shape does not grant special rights"

At work, there is a new sign near the front of the lot even closer than the handicap spaces that says, "Fuel Efficient Vehicle Parking Only".

Perhaps my amendment is wrong...let me explain.

A friend of mine from work decided last year to take advantage of the "trade your gas guzzler" promotion and bought the 2nd most fuel efficient Chevy available. He decided to park in the new spots. He was informed that it is for Hybrid vehicles only. Ahem....the sign does not say that!!

While I am very opposed to any special treatment for vehicles or car owners of any type (except handicapped individuals), I am more maddened by the position of superiority taken by these hybrid owners. Where will they be parking when we realize the decomposing batteries are more of a hazard than our fuel burners to the environment? But I digress...

I think my buddy has every right to park there so long as the signs say what they say. In theory, I could buy a hybrid Escalade (22 city/21 hwy) and park in the special spots when he cannot in his Malibu (22 city/30 hwy) which as you see does as good in the city but way better on the highway in mileage.

Better yet, I think I will go out and buy a hybrid decal for my 2001 F150 Supercrew (13 city/16 hwy) and park there. That might be the best idea yet!

The bottom line is that if you have a hybrid, you should be energy conscious enough to want to park as close to the exit as possible. That is where those people should park. Those of us with trucks need to park close, driving as much as possible since we obviously do not care and therefore are of a lower class. Let us park up front and make an example of us. Maybe we'll change our ways and go buy a hybrid or a stupid car. Then again....probably not.

A Family Connected By A Place to Meet

2010-05-24T22:13:00.004-05:00

Tonight, with my checking account running a bit lower than I wanted, I was hopeful that a flex medical reimbursement check would arrive. We had left work earlier than normal because Ashlie was not feeling well and we wanted to take her into the Doc if possible. We called home and Ashlie confirmed the arrival of the fat flex check. Given the traffic situation, I quickly realized that I would not make it to New Richmond and back to Stillwater before the 6 PM ATM cutoff.

Jess had a brilliant idea. ASHLIE CAN DRIVE! She can meet us there. Knowing that she'd be driving my F150 SuperCrew and her general uneasiness of driving that beast as a new driver, I figured navigating downtown Stillwater was a gamble. We needed a meeting place. What is on the WI side of the river yet near the lift bridge?

THE CAJUN CLUB!

The pic is the best I can find fast on the web. Yes, the Cajun Club is a strip joint. She called as she pulled in saying she wanted us to get there quick....this was not the best place to sit (16 and 12 year olds in truck). I had to laugh. I pulled in and she was literally parked right in the slot (no pun intended) where that car is sitting! CLASSIC!

She said she had to explain to Jake what went on in this place. He was apalled. Apparently the apple fell a little farther from the tree than normal. Then again, if not for Al, I would have never have experienced a place like that before either.

Yes, families with traditions....we have our new tradition. Anyone want to meet us in Stillwater?

The Orracle is HIGH!

2010-05-12T20:56:00.002-05:00

I am posting from 39,000 feet. Flight 2692 from PHX to MSP. First time I have ever used the Gogo inflight and I am actually impressed. It is better than some hotels I have stayed at for speed.

It made me realize something that I think of posting after every flight but forget.

Why the hell am I always behind Mr. Recline All The Frigging Way? It is tight enough for skinny assed people but for me it is just a pain in the butt. Even in First Class where the pitch is much better, it blows.

When I see someone reclining, my eyes go to the person behind them to see their reaction. Bottom line, nobody likes it....even the skinny people.

That's all I have to say. I just had to get it off of my chest and since I was online....DONE!

From 39,000 feet, just south of the South Dakota border (according to www.flightaware.com) this is the Orracle, getting ready for landing.

Newest Bunch of BS

2010-05-06T22:41:00.004-05:00

At work, Spiffy and I were coming back from lunch in my truck. My F-150 Supercrew, 5.4L Triton V8 with 222,000 miles on it. The truck facts have NOTHING to do with the story but it is impressive nonetheless.

He asked if I had seen the new parking signs up front for "Fuel Efficient Vehicles Only".

WTF? Are we serious?

I am OK with front parking for pregnant ladies.....take out at restaurants, etc. But fuel efficient vehicles? Is this a new class system we have? What is next? Daughters cannot marry a man because he drives a non fuel efficient truck?

The word that comes to mind when I think of stupid BS like this does rhyme with truck.

The way I see it, they should put the fuel efficient spots near the back of the lot. People like me need the front spots saved for us because if we do not find a close spot right away, we drive around until we find one which further creates emissions and wasted fuel. My carbon footprint only grows because of their hasty decision to play favorites to the wind-up cars.

We'll see who is the favorite in 20 years when my truck has been 100% recylcled and their batteries are polluting the landfills. From then on, it is front row....movie star parking for me and my truck!

Now That Is Good Advice....

2010-05-04T19:12:00.004-05:00

In the movie "A League of Their Own", Jimmy Dugan played by Tom Hanks is a washed up, knees shot and drunk ex baseball player. When coaching the girls team, he signs a ball for a kid with, "Avoid the clap....Jimmy Dugan".

When the kid does not appreciate that on the ball Jimmy yells, "That's good advice!".

Today, someone close to me that happens to work at the same company was in a meeting that did not go well. In spite of my introduction to this post, she did not suggest that any co-worker or client avoid the clap although it truly is sound advice. She did send me a note about the meeting with these very simple tips to keep in mind when you meet with a client....a client that is VERY prepared without exception:

Easy rules to remember for a successful client meeting:
1. Know your shit.
2. Know your dates.
3. It’s okay to say “I’ll need to check on that for you.”
4. Silence is considered an affirmation of the negative. Never stay quiet when asked a question by an aggressor.
5. Take notes and do what you say you will do right away.

Once again, The Orracle (and a certain someone), providing sound advice for all of you, my faithful readers to absorb and utilize.

Sexting

2010-04-25T21:14:00.003-05:00

I thought of using the title just to get Al's attention. God knows it has been long enough since I last posted. I have NO good reason for that. I have been busy - but we're all busy. I have even had some things jump into my head that I really wanted to post about. Since January, I have had some more management changes at work (not that I'd post anything publicly about that...), I have taken a vacation to Puerto Rico and business travel has heated up again.

The title is real though. I heard the story where a Florida lawmaker is trying to pass the law to hold any underage person that sends a naked photo of themselves to felony level punishment.

Now, as a parent, I really don't want my kids sending naked pics of themselves anywhere. Let's just be clear about that.

Let's go back 30+ years. Did you ever "play Dr."? Did you ever "show me yours and I'll show you mine"? Some of us did, some of us did not. Was that felonious behaviour or just natural to be curious?

Go back less years....maybe you were 15, 16 or 17 when you lost your virginity. Did you blindfold each other so as to not see a minor naked? If you accidentally did see the other person naked, is that a felony? Should you turn yourself in today?

My point is pretty obvious. This is just technology being used to do what we've done all along. Again, it is not the best situation but I am not trying to suggest we should all have our kids exposing themselves. I am saying that I don't think this is a felony.

Obvious rules apply - if an adult requests it from a minor or collects them from minors - well that falls under the same rules as internet junk - and I support that. But on a level playing field - teen to teen - it is just long-distance "Doctor". Frankly, it is safer than the back seat of a car or in someone's bedroom!

You Can Call Me, er HIM Al!

2010-01-05T22:31:00.004-06:00

The time has come to reveal the infamous Al. Featured in numerous posts - some having nothing to do with him yet getting him a "kicker" in the blog mention tally....it is time to show the world who this character is.

He of course has been awaiting this post for about a month now. Not because he was wanting to be revealed but because it is of him and his "favorite" singer for a multitude of reasons. His reviews of her CDs could be called biased. Hell, the way he gets around Kelly Willis is downright diabetic sweet.

I guess I have to admit....I was a fan. Then I saw Kelly and Bruce's Holiday Show at Gruene Hall. She is amazing and is a great singer too! Seriously, watching the two of them perform is a real treat. You can see the connection as they look at each other midsong.

Al, I'll see if I can get you the pics to you via email within the next year or so (at the pace I have been going lately).

Al and Kelly after the show

With that smile, the restraining order may have to be put back in place, Al.

Lyle with Bruce and Kelly - what a great night!

How Did I Miss It?

2009-12-06T16:48:00.004-06:00

I figure the perfect comeback to the blog after a stern verbal thrashing from Al while listening to awesome country music in Texas would have been to post about what we saw, or didn't see last night.

Our weekend was as perfect as could be. Starting at Gruene Hall in Gruene, TX on Thursday night, we saw Buster Jiggs and Reckless Kelly. Great kickoff show!

Then, on Friday, we spent the day in Bandera, TX and capped off with a concert featuring Honeybrowne and Charlie Robison. Charlie is my favorite and did not dissapoint! A near-perfect setlist! I think I sang every word to every song. Killer tamales at Floore's Country Store in Helotes, TX as well which is where the concert was.

Then, off to Gruene again where they had their Christmas festival which as Jessica said, was like being on a movie set. From the music (brass sextet), Kowboy Kringle on horseback and the lights, it was magical. Even the weather was Christmaslike with temps in the high 30's. The show was opened by Warren Hood who was the highlight of the trip. This kid and his band, the Hoodlums are or at least should be destined for an amazing career. If commercial radio would pull their head out long enough to change, these guys would be stars. The final show was the Kelly Willis (her personal site was down) and Bruce Robison Christmas show. It was very good with lots of singles and many Christmas songs. I know why Al has spoken so highly of Kelly too....she is nothing short of a total sweatheart! WOW!

Pictures will come. I have a good one of Al with Kelly which means you all finally get to see the infamous "tag-leading" Al.

Now for the "How did I miss it?" portion.

We left the concert dodging the puke laden sidewalk and headed for our hotel in New Braunfels. Suddenly, a girl running down the MIDDLE of the road. Jess was our sober driver and said, "Was she topless?"

I tried to replay the image in my mind. Was she topless? Seriously, I give you the fact that this is something you don't see everyday but we men are trained on boobs. Fully clothed boobs grab out attention without fail so how could it have been that I missed bare boobs in the middle of the highway and MY WIFE saw it and recognized it.

We decided to follow her since it most likely indicated that she was in trouble. She was frantically trying to get into any door at the nearest hotel. We asked if she needed help and she said no. We waited in disbelief. The cops then arrived and handled it from there althouth Al and I were ready to welcome the topless lass into the vehicle to be sure she was warm. Chivalry is certainly not dead.

Stay tuned for a few pics. Thanks to Al and Sue for joining us for what was a perfect weekend of fun, food and music in San Antonio!

GPS Making Us Dumber...Or Was It The Food?

2009-10-26T00:33:00.003-05:00

I arrived in Nashville today for a 3 night gig. For dinner I thought I would try a Food Network and B0bby Flay favorite which is normally against my rules. I generally prefer the place that the LOCALS eat at vs. the tourists and especially not chains. This was not a chain but it certainly WAS touristy.

I at at The Loveless Cafe. The main check-in area is adorned with quite possibly the most eclectic set of 8x10 celebrity pics. Some are truly celebs. Some, well - maybe not. While most are country singers with Nashville in close proximity, I found Wink Martindale's very unusual with a tic-dac-dough board in his signature.

I ordered a sampler....biscuits (their specialty) with preserves, a chicken breast, pulled pork and catfish. Add on two sides and two more biscuits with the main course and I was in a position I am not used to being in. I was at a point where I did not know if I could finish my dinner. Clean plate club member all of my life and this Southern Gem was kicking my Orracleass. I still managed to order dessert to go - could not pass up the cobbler and am hoping I can actually fathom eating when I wake up tomorrow.

Ah - the GPS thing. I realized tonight when someone in the hottub asked me how to get to The Loveless Cafe. I could not tell them. I take serious pride in being able to get ANYWHERE I have been before and if I was there recently, I could give them road by road, turn by turn directions. I know for certain that I could find Al's place right now. I might not be able to give street names but I bet I could take the correct exit on visuals and find his place very easily and I have only been there one time and it was a few years ago.

The GPS is making us stupid! I just wait for her to tell me what to do without stress of messing up because she will accomodate no matter how badly I miss the mark. Come to think of it, why wasn't there a GPS on the NWA flight that overshot MSP by 150 miles? You'd think the constant voice saying "RECALCULATING" would have prompted them to turn around...but I digress.

I guess more testing will have to be done to see if the GPS simplifying travel in strange towns is actually making my memory less effective or if it was just the fantastic, overstuffing of food that I took on tonight.

Solidarity In Coming Out Of Retirement

2009-10-15T22:53:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have thought or may have even implied in direct contact with me that it has been a wee bit since I posted. It is not that I have had nothing to say. I think it is more that I have been traveling nonstop most of the summer since May. When hotel staff and even flight attendants recognize you, it could be a sign. If I were Garth Brooks, being recognized would be somewhat expected even though he has been retired living a wonderful life in Oklahoma since 2001.

Hold on....someone is talking into my earpiece.

What?

He did?

To perform where?

OK.....and we're back folks. This just in, Garth Brooks has announced that he is coming out of retirement to play in the Danny Gans Theatre at the Wynn Encore in Las Vegas!

Do you think he'll sing "I've got friends in Las Vegas?"

Coming out of retirement might be a little overkill. The details....well, it looks as if he'll play there 15 weekends a year. 1 show Friday, 2 on Saturday and 1 on Sunday. One of Wynn
s Private jets will provide courrier service for the father of 4 girls and husband of Trisha Yearwood.

Tickets are a full $100 more than the highest previous price of $25 that Garth charged in his life which is a shocker but I think it will be worth it for the size of a theater vs. a sports arena not to mention how much better the sound will be.

I am a little dissapointed that it is slated to be just him and his guitar with an occasional guest. Part of the Garth we love is the full blown, lights glaring, fiddle screaming stage show. Maybe he'll do that for an Encore but I digress. I imagine it will be a big, intimate sing along.

I will go. No question about that. I think Garth is fantastic and he will not give a half hearted performance. Good move Steve Wynn and welcome back Garth!

I guess that means I am back too. I am looking forward to a short trip to San Antonio to see my other favorite people in country music (besides Al...). I finally get to see Gruene Hall and get to go to Bandera, TX. Sounds like fun, huh?

The Value of Great Customer Service

2009-08-13T23:38:00.002-05:00

Well, to open, I do realize it has been well over a month since I posted anything at all. My work schedule has had me on the road constantly. I generally do not mind and may even go so far as to say that I enjoy traveling for work but this stretch has been brutal. From May 24-mid July it was 2 out of every 3 weeks but then the last part of July and the first week of August found me in hotels 15 of 18 nights.

To post such information ahead of said schedule might entice Al to hop the first flight to MSP to make sure Jessa did not need anything....but now onto the post.

We are enroute to Disney on Saturday for our annual sojourn to see The Mouse. We found in mid July that our new Canon Rebel XS Digital SLR purchased in November was giving "error 99". Google it and you only need to get to "Canon Er" and the number one hit is correct with so many comments and posts around the web surrouding this mysterious "catch all" error.

Rather than brave a self installed firmware upgrade that if it fails voids the warranty and erases ALL memory from the camera, I brought it back to where I bought it.

Under any other circumstance, I would have bought a unit like this from Best Buy based on prices or package, etc. Back in November, National Camera Exchange had a significantly better deal.

When I brought it to them, they tried some simple remedies such as cleaning the contacts where the lens attaches, etc as it sometimes does the trick. No dice. They then said it is under warranty and proceeded to wrap it up, package it and do the warranty work for me. Still, no "Geek Squad" fee for just looking at it, nothing - only good service and advice.

Now as we depart on our trip, the camera is not back from Canon. They have me come in and write check that they will hold as a deposit and give me a brand new camera body to use on our 11 night trip. Pinch me. Is it still 2009 or have I somehow ended up in the past via the WABAC Machine with Mr. Peabody and Sherman?

In this case, they were cheaper. In the future for camera or video, I think the decision will be very easy for me on where to buy it. It won't be Best Buy. I am not suggesting that I have had a bad experience with BB on a warranty issue or service but I can guarantee that they would not give me a loaner to take for almost 2 weeks! Furthermore, this act at National Camera did not require an extended warranty but Best Buy would have certainly suggested that this level of service would require that extended warranty.

I don't know if I am ready to put a value on this experience for future purchases. I think already that this level of service would be worth at least 10% higher prices - maybe more.

RIP MJ! We Are The World Thinking of You Today

2009-06-25T23:13:00.001-05:00

What is more to say than this song? Michael was one of a kind. Disagree with his choices along the allegations late in his life but nobody can dispute the pop icon that he was. It is too hard to pick a single song so I thought We Are The World would be the perfect alternate. I only wish I was able to see him live just once.

Slip Sliding Away

2009-06-22T22:02:00.002-05:00

I do not think I am any kind of Nostradomus but I would like to be the first to go on record to say that Ultimate Electronics is about to start with the "Everything must go" signs. They are running unprecedented radio ads and have kids standing near their stores with signs saying "We shop Best Buy and Wal-Mart every day!".

For those of you that are not familiar with this store, it is Minnesota based and was formerly known as Audio King. If I want something high-end, it would be the first place I'd look to see and compare but I'd still most likely buy on the internet. I personally would have never changed the name from Audio King as "sound" was and still is their forte.

I used to shop Audio King and have shopped Ultimate Electronics from time to time. Why are they tanking (in my opinion)?

They tend to lean to high end. This economy does not support that.
On most occasions when I have been there, their sales staff has been very stuck up / cocky towards me. They very much have a "too good for you" attitude.
They are trying to compete with Best Buy and Wal-Mart. People go to those stores for something small all the time...ink, CDs, games, memory cards, etc. That gets you in the store where you see the big ticket items. When it comes time to buy those, you find yourself back to the big stores, not deciding to look and see what UE has.
Back on December 26, I mentioned their lack of brands in mp3 players. I see now that they have 35 (cr)apple models and 7 others. At least they are expanding a little. Still, I think they are painted into a very small corner and that is hurting them.
They are trying to win by mentioning the competition....FAIL!

Bottom line is that I hope they succeed since they are Minnesota based and are really the only place to get higher end sound gear. Like #5 says, they are to the point of pointing out how they are better than the competition. That is one step above bad mouthing the competition. What UE needs is to find the place where they are different than the competition.

Like in any business, 99% of what competetors do is the same. Live with it. To succeed you need to find the 1% that sets you apart from your competetors and you NEVER bring them into the conversation. If you do that 1% well, people notice and you don't need to worry about the competition. They need to worry about you!

WWW Plus Two

2009-06-10T23:02:00.004-05:00

I really did not think the day would come. My Dad is not nor has no intentions to change the way he is. I do not have any issues with that. Stay true to who you are.

When my sisters and I found out he wanted a computer for his birthday, I was shocked. We snapped up a nice Dell laptop. I got it all setup with links, accounts, etc.

If you have seen the movie Men In Black, Will Smith "J" goes through a process where his entire identity is deleted all the way to his fingerprints. Every reference to him in society was deleted.

As I created email accounts, facebook accounts (yes, even my dad is on FB, Al).....I realized I was creating his online existence. Nothing about him was there before I created it. I was like Christophe in "The Truman Show". Godlike. "And on the 15th business trip to Carmel, IN, Mr. Orr's online existence was created!" OK, now I am just full of shit as usual.

Finally, an air-card service was found that has good signal in the sticks of Aitkin County. Just like that, they are online.

The challenge is talking them through the where's and what's to see and click on.

ME: Don't you see "login" at the top of the page?
THEM: Where?
ME: At the top of the page.
THEM: No.
ME: Well tell me what you see.
THEM: I see a blue bar with "http".
ME: Oh - not that far up......

You get the drift.

Still, this is a great thing in my opinion. It is not that I don't enjoy the calls from my dad to "look something up on my computer"....as if MY computer had all the world's information stored in it. I still want those calls. I just look forward to him seeing more of what is happening day to day. Sharing email. Jokes. Stuff like that.

Thanks dad for taking the step. Even if Sharon becomes your Information Secretary, I think eventually, you'll get it.

Know When To Retire....

2009-06-02T00:20:00.002-05:00

I am not a huge fan of the NWA - Delta merger. Everyday, more NWA planes are sitting at the gate in Delta Livery. My first trip on an A330-300 was in Delta colors. I just hope I get a chance to ride one still painted in NWA colors.

I don't mind travel for work and certainly love it for play. I have developed a list of favorite airplanes for various reasons mostly related to space and size since I am not quite "waif".

I loved the A330, like 757s in first class but in coach they are a bit cramped like any Boeing plane. I get along very well with the A319/320's.

At one time, NWA Airlink had some RJ-85s which had 4 engines on a regional jet for short runways but were gas hogs. They were great because their coach seats were bigger than most first class seats on other planes. For airlink, I am currently a fan of the Embraer 175s. Nice plane.

YES - I AM GETTING TO THE POINT!!!!

When Delta bought NWA, I expected it to be the end of the old smokers also known as DC-9's. These planes originated with Republic Airlines which was purchased by NWA.

I DESPISE these planes. Small, cramped, immovable armrests and they are LOUD inside. These planes mostly originated in the 60's and are still in service so we'll give them a point for reliability.

I am now seeing these painted in Delta colors. Why? They are gas hogs! They burn in 500 miles what an Airbus or Embraer burns in 1000.

Well, I guess we get the last laugh. I saw one tonight at Indianapolis at a gate. The nice, pretty new Delta paint looked like someone lit a bonfire under the plane behind the engines. The old NWA colors hid the exhaust markings but not the nice, pretty white that Delta has back there.

They should have just left them red and silver until they retire them which should have been yesterday!

Jottings Time....

2009-05-19T23:29:00.003-05:00

I have had so many things on my mind lately and have not found the time to blog the individually. I will try to keep them short but address a few of them here.

Making People Happy - Part Deux

First of all - a while ago, I talked about how those on the USAir flight wanted to sue and get MORE than they already received in this post. Today, a new story about how USAir had all of their belongings returned to them after having everything cleaned professionally to remove the grime and jet fuel. In my opinion - they have gone far beyond what they needed to do! These passengers need to accept that they are alive, have their belongings including diamonds, laptops and wallets returned to them.

Concert!

I had not been to a concert in a while. Not knowing if I would be traveling, I did not buy Billy and Elton tickets early. Plus, I have been lucky in getting last minute seats even on Ticketbastard. Well, last minute came and went and the Saint Paul show was still "sold out". I really wanted to go since I have only seen Billy about 6 times and the Billy/Elton F2F tour 2 times in the past. Many had tix available on Craigslist but were not budging on price which I am sure cost them in the end since many said they could not go at all and HAD to get rid of the tickets. My last dilemma was that Jess did not want to go and so I took Ashlie and her boyfriend (yes, scary for me). Few had 3 seats to sell and I did not need 4. OK, where else will they be? Madison....Ashlie had a conflict.....Omaha - pushing the limits of a road trip....Fargo....BINGO!

We decided on Fargo and got last minute seats on Ticketbastard on the side of the stage, 5th row. Just a meager $580 for 3 seats....but worth it still. Billy was a little sick but still rocked the joint. Elton's voice was as strong as I have ever heard but he just does not tear it up like Billy. Billy's "Fargo" movie references in the accent was completely lost on the people there but I sure thought it was funny as hell!

The Fargodome is bigger than I expected holding 25,000+. By the traffic and uncoordinated parking process, you'd have thought they had 200,000 going in there. What a COMPLETE joke!

State band in Eau Claire until noon....drive to Fargo...concert....home all in one loooong day!

THWARTED!

Work decided to start monitoring the web. Good idea since a trip through some areas of highly paid people yielded a show of various web pages. Abuse was certain. With the monitoring, blocking has also started to the high traffic suspects like BLOGGER, Facebook, YouTube, and streaming sources. So far, Sirius is up for me still. I hope they do not block it. I know our Pres streams XM so fair is fair, right? Don't count on it!

It is too bad that it has reached this level. I know I have never been caught on the net, right Al?

WEATHER

Only in Minnesota. I live in Wisconsin...yes - but for all practical purposes, I am a Minnesotan still. I just live in a WI town that is convenient to MN for work.

No, this is not a global warming rant - although it could be. Saturday we went to the school bus races / crashes at Cedar Lake Speedway....a good time! When we left there it was 41 with frost possible. Today, it was 97. It was 100 in Granite Falls, west of the Twin Cities but just 34 in Grand Marais on Lake Superior. I find that amazing that there is such a variance in towns 260 miles apart (Saint Paul to Grand Marais).

Planning for the weather has been made an "Inconvenient Pattern"....gotta be Al Gore's fault.

TRAVEL

I need to say goodbye to the area for a while I guess. I am currently scheduled for next week in Indiana, the week after in Indiana, one week off (possibly changed to....yep....Indiana) the 4 weeks straight with 2 in Bensalem (Philly area) and 2 in Dallas. The Dallas meetings might get moved to none other than....Indiana or even to MSP which would alleviate those two weeks of travel.

GOOD TRAVEL

Yep, another vacation is planned. Gotta do the late summer Disney run for the free dining. Too good to pass up although it is really getting in the way of our "every 2 years" plan with this being our 3rd trip in 14 months to WDW (2 personal and 1 marching band whirlwind).

We made our Advance Dining Reservations (ADRs) today which means we are 90 days out! It really brings out the little kid in me. I just love that place. It will be my Wal-Mart when I retire. I can hand out strollers instead of carts.

I think that sums it up for the Orracle's life! I know I had more pressing, grinding, under-the-skin issues that have crossed my mind in the last few weeks but they are gone so we'll leave it at this for now.

Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party

2009-04-21T22:06:00.003-05:00

Posting this post on my blog to share some pics with other Disney fans from http://www.passporter.com/ (If you are not a Disney fan....disregard the link....you would not get it)

Now Here's A Guy Who Decided To Retire...

2009-04-16T16:52:00.004-05:00

John Madden. A legend. Maybe for only being the guy that was out there to state the obvious.

"If this team wants to win, they're gonna have to outscore their opponent".

"If your arm gets hit, the ball will not go where you want it to."

"“Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”

That is the fun guy that we all know and comedians make fun of.

The real John Madden was a guy that did things his way. Kind of like Steve Cannon in my last post. John hated flying so he got a big motorhome and traveled in style. He was his own man, his own style.

This made me begin to think about the pop culture we have today. Legends keep retiring and / or dying. How will we replace them?

John Madden. Howard Cosell (a while ago but still applies), Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Paul Harvey, The Rat Pack, Garth Brooks (OK, that was only there for Al).

Who is original today? Apparently nobody because we are forced to allow their children to replace them. Paul Harvey's son even tries to put the same inflection on the words as his dad. Kenny Albert is a loser version of his father. Joe Buck is NOTHING compared to his father Jack.

What gives them the right to become the next guy? Talent? No way in hell. It is their name and the fact that there is nobody original left in entertainment, sports or comedy today. Music is diluted crap. Everyone uses the same beat, same lyrics and same voice treatments as the guy before.

Sports announcers are just has beens in the game without any talent for actual announcing.

We are so washed out by the big guns that we don't allow anything unusual or new today. If Madden was just starting today, would he get the gig? Would Paul Harvey get a job doing Newsss if he auditioned today? I bet no to both. We are 233 years old as a country and have run out of ideas for creativity. It was a good run I guess.

Steve Cannon - Radio Legend

2009-04-07T19:39:00.004-05:00

I had a dream of being on the radio. I loved talk radio. Even living up in the middle of nowhere, WCCO was always on. 24/7/365 on our 5 foot long "Hi-Fi". Boy, that thing (now at my sister's cabin) sure is a throwback to the days when a radio was a piece of furniture. But I digress.

When Jessica and I moved to the cities, I was faithful listener to The Good Neighbor, WCCO. Dark Star (before he turned into a shill), the Morning Show with Dave Lee (better when it was Boone and Erickson) and the good old Cannon Mess in afternoon drive. I probably had my chance at radio with some connections at KSTP in town but I did not pursue anything. I guess you can say I have made up for that with my DJ business. Not even close to the same but it gives me that outlet.

Today, I am a Howard Stern fan. I find terrestrial radio painful to listen to. I liked radio back then because it is not what it is today. It was guys like Steve Cannon and Dark Star being renegades. On KSTP, Tommy Mischke (recently fired) was that guy. It does not surprise me that one of the very few people that Steve Cannon stayed close with is Tommy Mischke. They are cut from the same hunk of fabric.

Loners. Their way. Different. Rebels. Anti Institution.

Steve Cannon did his show alone. Well, him and his characters that certainly more than one person believed was real. Backlash LaRue. Ma Linger. Morgan Mundane.

He declared himself King of the Kilowats....the Prince of the Airwaves. He even dodged his own farewell party by signing off one day earlier than planned.

He signed off every day with, "I've got the money" or some variation like "I've got the sheckles".

On his last day, he said, "I've got the memories".

No, Steve. We do.

RIP Steve Cannon. You were truly one of a kind. I am glad to have been able to listen all of those years.

Cold Hearted Orracle

2009-03-23T18:53:00.003-05:00

The local news is all a-buzz with the rising Red River. 1997 was catastrophic with the river hitting 37.1 feet. I think flood stage is something like 10 feet given the god-forsaken-flat-ass-barren land that it is surrounded by. With the rain this week, extra snow and fairly quick rise in temps to melt the snowbase, it is predicted to crest at or above 40 feet.

So now, we mobilize the National Guard. We close schools so kids can help sandbag. We all go into "caring and giving" mode to help those that are "victims". Are they really victims though?

A tornado? Hit or miss. Could be here or there. Might be big or small.

A blizzard? Hit or miss. Might be Southern, might be Northern. Might cause damage, might not.

An ice storm? Oh, hell - you get the idea.

A flood does not randomly drop itself unsuspectingly on people. It tends to follow the same path. In fact, the Red River Valley is a natural flood plain. It is designed to FLOOD!

Call it a "one in 100 years flood" if you want but it can happen every year....especially to a river that flows NORTH into still frozen waters.

I have the same (lack of) sympathy for those in New Orleans. Hurricanes will come again. You live at and/or below sea level. DON'T BUILD FRIGGIN HOUSES THERE.

Tragedies are sad. I do feel bad for people going though them. There is a demoitvator at www.despair.com that says "Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots!" Then again, there is a poster on that site that says, "BLOGGING: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few."

Farewell from your heartless Orracle.

RSS - My "NEW" Obsession

2009-03-19T17:44:00.002-05:00

I guess I have always spotted the RSS symbol and even knew what it was. I have not taken the time to use it until messing with sharepoint at work and getting issues logs setup for cross team use. RSS feeds are great because it takes the risk of apathetic people out of projects to a degree by bring the new information to them vs them having to take the time to look at it.

Now, I am obsessed. RSS is the coolest thing ever. It brings the internet to you.

I realize that me coming to realize this on March 19, 2009 is kind of like someone finally moving from VHS to DVD. I am loving this especially with the Outlook 2007 RSS functionality.

OK, geekiness be gone now. I just have to learn now if people can use RSS on my blog or if I have to physically add it to the page. Let's enjoy this much for now.

I Need Some New Websites....

2009-03-16T00:23:00.002-05:00

My weblife has become routine, predictable and somewhat boring. I am in a rut! How many MILLION websites are there and I hit the same handful without any idea where to go next?

My Staples...

Startribune.com or wcco.com for the local news
Woot.com to see what the deal of the day is
Facebook.com - many times a day for updates and to see who might be out there now only to be dissapointed that Al has not joined yet
Yahoo mail - I get lots of travel emails there.
Sirius.com (on workdays) to listen to Howard

Most of the time...

USATODAY.com - I always like to see what McPaper has going on - especially the travel section
CNN.com - no idea why - kind of a last resort to find something interesting
videopoker.com - this goes in spurts like recently for the tournament that was held. I like this site - great videopoker. I pay the $5 a month to get access to all of the functionality
EVERY SUNDAY - www.postsecret.blogspot.com - this is good but only once a week
YouTube just to try to find something entertaining

That is about it! I might hit Tripadvisor.com when planning a trip but other than that, I can never think of where to go next.

I need for you, my readers to be the Viagra to my Weblife and spice it up for me! Show me what I have been missing (closed circuit to The Rube - I don't mean porn sites!!).

Old Money....You Don't Know Me!

2009-02-24T21:46:00.006-06:00

An intriguing thing happened to someone I might know. This person, we'll call him "Spiffy", showed me a fistful of sequential, crisp, freshly printed-smelling old-style $20 bills. Innocent enough I guess.

These bills were from 1969.

Alegedly, Spiffy received them from a Wells Fargo cash machine.

Now, I have a few theories about the source of this old money. Let's just hope this guy is on the level and not some 2009 Bonnie and Clyde.

1) We'll go with his thoughts first. Someone found a stack in grandma's sewing machine and brought them to the bank. I guess that is possible but would they still have that freshly printed smell?

2) Maybe this is bailout money from the Feds. Could it be that the bank bailout money sent to the banks was just old cash that the Reserve had in the back corners of the warehouse?

3) Recently, I received some crisp, smelly $20 bills (legitimately of course) from a Wells Fargo machine but they were 1989. A mere 20 years old vs Spiffy's bills that are 40 years old. I am almost 40 and while I have not been circulated or washed, I don't smell very new. Perhaps Wells Fargo found them in an old Stagecoach somewhere and decided to put them into circulation.

4) Maybe Wachovia is the culprit. Wells Fargo after all did just acquire them. Perhaps Wachovia had the old money stashed.

5) Lastly, and I did not want to go here....maybe our guy Spiffy is up to no good.

Closed circuit to Spiffy....you don't know me when they strap you to the polygraph machine and make you explain yourself. Hopefully, you have spent them. Perhaps you'll finally get the flat screen you have been longing for. No matter what, get rid of those bills. I think they are highly suspect.

Making People Happy

2009-02-05T22:53:00.002-06:00

I was listening to the cockpit to tower audio of the USAir flight that ditched in the Hudson today. Sully was so calm. I was pretty surprised at how he sounded. It reminded me of something that kind of made me think a week ago.

The passengers of flight 1549 wee given $5,000 immediately for personal belongings that were lost in the ditching of the aircraft. Then, they were given the highest elite status for a year. Now they are crying that it is not enough.

What in the hell do these people want? They survived. Why do they feel they need more than that? I think USAirways offered more than enough to cover their losses. I know that when I travel for business or even for pleasure when I have WAY too much crap along with me that the total value of our items probably does not exceed $5,000 for all four of us let alone 5K each.

If USAir was negligent in any way, I might see it a little different. Say someone forgot to fuel the plane. Maybe a pilot lands long and goes off the runway into the river. Different story to a degree.

Blame the geese. Blame anyone, but you cannot blame USAir. You should thank them for their generosity and for their highly trained staff of pilots and flight attendants that did absolutely everything correct to save every life on that plane. Some of these rubes did not even get wet!

It's probably pretty easy for me to sit here in my chair and judge them. I imagine it was a sickening feeling. I bet they were filling their drawers thinking of what was to come. You can't sue for soiled panties though. I am sure they will continue to push and some judge will conceed that they suffered or had hardship or some weak-ass excuse enough to give them many thousands more.

I think they have been compensated plentifully and most of that is in the form of life.

Lots On My Mind....But Nothing Big

2009-02-03T21:07:00.003-06:00

I've had a ton of things on my mind lately but none big enough for their own post.

First off - the woman with octuplets. I know - Keep your laws off my body. But seriously - she has 6, lives at home and needs 8 more? I don't think it is a good situation for the kids. Her mom insists she is obsessed with having kids. Wow....I have 2 and feel like we cannot give them enough. Not just material things but time. She is a single parent. I guess I really only think in the long run she is short changing these kids' chances. Even the whack pack family that is always on TV with the 18 "J" kids...Jedediah, Jessie, Joshua, Jeez, etc - they are freaks too. China is not the answer with a 1 kid limit but maybe we need to draw the line at a dozen. In that family's defense, they are (supposedly) debt free and do take care of them although all the bonus freebies from being on the TV show sure did not hurt.

Next up - this frigging weather. I know this is closer to normal than we have been in a while but how many damn days do I have to see the temp in the range of -10 to +9? This is getting rediculous! Global warming....whatta joke! I see some old friends on Facebook living in Hawaii, Florida (hmmmm, both from Palisade...must have been some smart juice in the water up there). At least some of us had the sense to get out of this godforsaken land. I love my house. I love this town. When the kids are gone...all bets are off on whether we stay or not!

Lastly - Christian Bale. On one hand, I think this guy is a jackass. On the other - take out the references to "the set" or "Director of Photography" and this rant could be applied in ANY work setting. We all have our favorite people we work with that do nothing but get in the way and cause a distraction. A word to the millions of Orracle readers out there, this clip has a few F-bombs in it.

What a gem this guy is! You can hear his director even cowering at his feet. Who does he think he is?

I guess that is it. Here is hoping that we see some double digits sometime soon.

The Orracle

A Picture Perfect Story!

2009-01-28T20:19:00.003-06:00

Today I had one of those truly amazing things happen to me. By amazing, I mean something that you could never predict and only see on those last minute "feel good" news stories they play as the newscast ends.

I went to work and before I could be properly motivated to dig in for the day, I decided to check my Facebook account. I saw something in my inbox from a person I do not know. Unlike other social networking sites, I have never received spam on Facebook from people trying to get me to go to their site so I felt it was OK to read and respond.

The e-mail said:

"hi Lyle, You dont know me but im trying to locate someone with you name who i beleive is a wedding dj/entertainer?? and that visited las vegas in 07... trying to contact a Mr lyle o urgently but not sure his full surname.Please let me know if this is youmany thanks alex"

I responded that I do have a DJ business and was in Vegas in November of 07.

He came back with:

"oh my god, Its taken me a while to track you down.....i found something that may belong to you...Did you lose anything on that trip? "

Well, yes we did! We lost a camera.

Once I said that, he actually called me on my cell phone. This gentleman has been looking for me for 14 months only by my first name and last initial. How many Lyle Os could there be? I think he emailed many of them. That clue was only possible because of a picture of me in my tux and name tag on while DJing a wedding. He originally took it to lost and found but when they told him if not claimed, it would be auctioned off, he felt that he could do better.

He said he had given up on the big search process but would think of other ways to search from time to time and this time he tried Facebook and thought I looked like the guy he remembered in the pictures that he saw back in '07.

This story would be amazing enough without the next fact. Alex lives in London, England. I guess the WWW has made this a smaller world for a task like this but still, it adds challenges (thanks Al Gore).

I want to say thank you to Alex L. You truly represent all that is good and honest and would fall into a very small percentage of people in this world and for that, I cannot thank you enough.

We cannot wait to get this camera back and relive the vacation. I am only hoping that the same will happen with the camera we lost at Disney in May 08!

The End Is Coming and I Could Not Be Happier!

2009-01-20T22:58:00.003-06:00

At first glance, one might assume this will be my inauguation blog....how Obama won't change much, how it is a false sense of hope. No, I am gonna let that one cook. My benchmar has been set as I received my 401K statement for July 1-December 31 today and it was only down 30.1%. That is the benchmark I will use to evaluate change.

This post is about radio. Today, Clear Channel cut their workforce by 9% nationwide including some semi-popular talk show hosts and inconsequential jocks at Kool 108 and other stations. The fact that they cut from multiple stations in one town is part of the problem. Any given company should only be allowed one AM and one FM station in a market. But I digress.

This is not about the Chad Hartmans or Doogies or any other half-assed radio personality. The cuts came at WCCO, the juggernaut and at KSTP AM recently. You see, local commercial filled radio is dying. Talk still has some edge but the music side is REALLY dying.

Stations locally like KQRS which advertises "their vault of albums" only plays about .0029% of it. According to them, the Eagles only recorded Witchy Woman and Hotel California. Don't get me started on the copycat morning show idiots such as Tom Barnyard. I am pretty sure his following includes a long list of people without any other exposure to other forms of entertainment and they are convinced HE is it. HE...is a fraud along with every other yuckster on his show.

Yes, the end is coming. It is time for everyone to realize it and make the move to satellite radio. Want top 40 (repeated over and over)? Channel 1. Want 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s deep cuts (seriously deep cuts), alternative country, songs like the Rodeo Song (unedited)? Go to satellite. Want sports? They are all there. Want sports talk, left wing talk, right wing talk, CNN, MSNBC, Gay talk or Oprah (please don't say yes to Oprah Al) - it is there too. Want comedy, playboy talk, or the original, King of all Media Howard Stern? That is there too.

I cannot feel bad for the locals. As the conglomerates continued to buy up every station in every major market, the quality went exponentially downward. I won't even rent a car without satellite anymore.

Good bye Clear Channel, AM/FM inc and all of you other giant medium killers.
Rodger Wilcox....Over and Out.

My Wish For Washington 2009

2009-01-06T21:38:00.005-06:00

I don't think any of us should ever be surprised at the continuous scandal and garbage that happens in Washington. I once heard the statistics of offenses, bankruptcy ocurrences and overall scum committed between the members of the House and Senate in DC and it was apalling. If I could make one wish for the new empire of people designated to "protect" us, it would be that they simply work a little harder on picking low hanging and seemingly more obvious fruit.

You may remember a while ago when I was going on at my disgust for the lengthy process of confirming the Sirius-XM Merger. Stern said this week that he even had to do depositions as did his security guard, Ronnie the Limo Driver. They went through their appointment and notebooks looking for clues to confirm that Stern and others were only planning to railroad the public people and buy short or some stupid stuff like that. It was a total witch hunt.

We also all remember one of our better presidents, Bill Clinton was found guilty of getting a hummer from Monica BlewClinsky. At what cost?

Yet while they were protecting us from the Sirius-XM merger and making sure our president got in trouble for having his pole smoked, Bernard Madoff ripped off tons of people and charities of $50 billion. Simultaneously, Tom Petter did the same to many in Minnesota and elsewhere also in a Ponzi scheme. The totals for Petter are not out yet but numbers in the billions are floating for his scheme as well. I am not a Rhode Scholar but I am pretty sure Ponzi is derrived from the latin for "Invisible to the people set out to protect us".

I met a guy on a flight that is a truck driver. He said he had to go through 7 types of testing and validation to haul hazardous materials. We're not talking Plutonium and TNT....just corrosives and your run of the mill HAZMAT stuff.

So maybe someone will get a clue in Washington or wherever these geniuses reside that make the rules we need to follow and police the system to protect us. Until then, my suggestion is to sell the waterbed and buy a good old-fashioned mattress to put your money under until the Ponzis and Wall Street shenanigans are over.

Happy New Year.....Finally!

2009-01-04T13:18:00.003-06:00

Here we are with 2009. I'll say it again....FINALLY! I like the holidays. Ah, let me adjust, I like most things about the holidays. It comes down to gifts. It is not the financial "hit" you take.....that does not bother me. It is the simple act of going, finding, thinking and buying what you think is a good thing for person "X" but really they could do without. You know this because they get you the same thing. Not the same thing - but just another thing that is nice but you could do without.

I love buying the kids - mine and others tons of things. That is what I love most. For adults, I think it is time for our families to do the name drawing thing and buy one big gift for one person.....from a LIST! It would be so much simpler! We live in a day and age where for the most part, most people but what they want for themselves.

Hey, I **LIKE** that.

And then you go buy it.

Somehow we get through these holidays every year. Maybe someday we'll get to just do the get together....the dinner (I'll even cook again)....and just celebrate not being at work and watching the kids have fun. Don't buy me anything. I really don't need it anyway.

Happy New Year to everyone.

iCannot Stand the iPenetration into the iMarketplace

2008-12-26T11:11:00.002-06:00

Ashlie wanted a new mp3 player. First stop, Best Buy. They carry Sansa and crapple. No Creative Zen. Sansas are not too bad but I see them on woot about 2x a week selling refurbs so I assume they have a high rate of defective units. Best Buy has a deal with Sansa and their eMusic site hence the reason they carry them.

We wanted a Creative because we have had several previous Creative models and have liked them alot! Plus, the Zen has an SD slot to expand the size of the storage. This way - we can buy a 4 GB and add an 8 GB SD card for $20 more. She can use that for the thousands of pictures she wants to put on her mp3 player without eating up all of the music space.

Our second stop was Ultimate Electronics. For those of you that are familiar with the Twin Cities, Ultimate Electronics is the new name (for the last 3-4 years) of the old local Audio King stores. They changed the name so people would assume they did not carry just audio products. UE is a nice store - and carries both low and high end. Their high end is better priced and better displayed than Best Buys Magnolia store within the Best Buy stores. All they carry is crapple!! I could not believe it!

This shopping happened on 12/22. Best Buy had an overflowing parking lot. UE had 5 cars. When the salesgeek said they only had crapple, I asked if he was aware that there is a large contingent of people out there that hate crapple. He said yes but they still decided to go with the single brand. Unable to hold back, I said, "And clearly the store is thriving!". His answer was that they had $40K in sales that day. OK....40K a few days before x-mas....in electronics? Best Buy did 40K in the Oakdale store between 5 PM and 7 PM and it was probably the 4th 40K of the day.

As we walked out, Jess reprimanded me for being an asshole to the salesgeek. "Why do you have to do that?"

The answer is....I don't know. I love to harasss salesgeeks. In Best Buy, I purposely go over to the cables area to listen to their pitches on why you need an $80, 6 foot HDMI cable and then tell their customers that the same cable is available online for $10. I get such personal enjoyment from this side of myself....but it is bad, I know. I have always been this way. In college, I'd go to Sam Goody just to ask why their CD prices were $4-6 higher.

In the end, we found the Creative 4 GB unit at Target. We bought two....one for Ashlie and I went back to get one for Jessa. They earned my business by carrying more than just crapple.

Freshly Blown, Flown and Poked!

2008-12-25T18:01:00.004-06:00

Stormy sent me an email pointing out that the cruise has been over for a long time and insinuated that I have not posted much. She was right. In thinking about a title for this post, I think I nailed it!

Now before you all jump to conclusions, you better read on!

I had to go to Indiana last week one more time this year. That, believe it or not is NOT the flown part. It does have relevance to the story. Bored out of my mind, I went for a drive since I had a car this time by myself (usually we rent together which ties you down more). I found a casino named Indiana Live! Casino. It is actally more of a circus tent until their new, permanent building is done. Still, it was nice. I played some video poker and somewhere in the second $20, I hit a royal flush for $1000 followed by countless quads (four of a kinds). I left the machine up a ton and went to get a burger. Enroute, I played a dollar slot, something the Orracle rarely does and hit another $720.00.

I did proceed to spend back around $800.00 of my winnings playing dollar video poker which is something I have wanted to do but could not because of the steep $5 per play cost. I felt like a whale! I left up $1200 which was less than I could have but I had a great time so no regrets.

Upon getting back home, I decided to buy a snowblower. I have wanted one for 15 years and somehow end up not getting one. Nothing fancy - 2 stage, 6 HP, MTD brand....nice enough. Needless to say, I love it. I have used it 2 times. I think the neighbors are expecting me to blow the entire yard out eventually! I have a wide path for the mailman (even if he is an old, crotchety bastard), paths around every tree and shrubbery for the dogs to run on, and have blown out a major opening to every sidewalk and fire hydrant. I LOVE....that thing.

Then for Christmas, I received Flight Simulator X. I have not had FS since they still had the program on 3.5" disks and I loved it then. I can tell you that having not flown on FS in a long time, not reading many directions and jumping immediately into a 747, I have flown 4 flights and there have been NO survivors. I made it almost out of the metro on my last flight though- so I must be improving. I really need to buy a good joystick to handle the planes better.

Today, I slept in after staying up with the kids until almost 3. I love watching them have fun with their new games and other presents. I slept until 1, cooked a major breakfast complete with Vennie Sausage, eggs, hashbrowns and the secret onion/portabella concoction for over the egg. WOW! Other than that, I have been playing VP on video poker.com which is really fun and costs NOTHING compared to the real casinos which rarely offer up those beautiful royals like I found in Indianapolis!

That is it! I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I hope all is well with everyone as we close out the 2008 and move to 2009.

Closed circuit to Al - I ran into Stacy Voracek in the mall last week (she was Kirt's admin that Crazy Roger fired). She said to tell you hello and that she still listens to Charlie Robison!

Until next time,
The Ho Ho Horracle!

I'm Never Flying Air France Again!

2008-12-05T23:56:00.003-06:00

Just a quickie from the ship since it is .55 per minute online. I was on checking email and bank accounts and thought I'd drop this quickie in.

So today we are at St. Maarten. Island is half French and half Dutch. The local airport is SXM. Search for it on YouTube and you will find amazing vids of large planes landing right over the little beach. There was no question that I had to see it. The plans are 100-150 feet over the beach as they land.

We hired a taxi for an island tour. Saw everything including some things we'd hoped not to on Orient Beach (partly a nude beach and not Hugh Hefner types either). The kids got to hold live urchins which was cool.

After visiting Marigot, the French side capital, we headed for the beach by the airport. We saw a 757 but knew that Air France had an A340 landing at 3:30 local time. Since we were nearly all the way around the island and only about 5 miles from the cruise port, leaving immediately after should not have been an issue. We watched the A340 skim out heads and blow our hats off and left.

1 mile down the road, we hit a dead stop. We sat there. And sat there. Finally, the cabbie (in a Cadillac Escalade) asked an approaching cab what the delay was.

"Accident on the hill."

We waited some more and then I asked for alternate routes since it was now 4 and "All aboard" was at 5. He decided to go back around the island the opposite way. Not a long way - but there is just one road. That road is two lanes. Bad Bad Bad.

We drove in a manner that if I had eaten anytime recently, it would have been on the floor of the Escalade. I was completely panicked since A) my bank account is getting low and B) our passports were on the ship as an oversight for the day's excursion.

We finally made it back to the ship to the jeering of the 1,000 or so people watching from the starboard side of the ship. We were scolded by the crew awaiting us, the last people to board. Another 5 minutes and we'd have been screwed and finding our own way to St. Thomas without passports.

Needless to say, several people tonight recognized us. The "but there was an accident on the hill" story did nothing to convince them.

I think tomorrow, we'll leave for the ship at about 1:00 for a 5:00 curtain call!

Talk to you all soon!
The Orracle - headed back to stateroom 1392 as we sail the Carribbean blue!

What is the Delta Between NWA and the New NWA?

2008-11-27T22:29:00.003-06:00

Today was my first ever flight on Delta. I actually said to the attendant that checked our bags that it was my first flight on the "New NWA". She very quickly scolded me with "NOT EVEN CLOSE!". Apparently Delta employees are convinced they have a far superior product.

So how was my first experience? Not great.

The inbound flight from ATL was late. The pilot told us that there was a major headwind that made the inbound late but I know from watching the flight on www.flightaware.com that it simply left ATL late. Strike 1.

We made up a little time and had plenty of time for our connection. That is until we landed. No gates. We sat for over 1 hour on the tarmac waiting for a gate. I have never had the pilot open the door, shut off the engines and say "feel free to move about the cabin....we're on an active taxiway but we're not going anywhere soon". HOLY SHIT! He was not lying. The issue is that with it being a hub and so many flights terminating there with the holiday, there were no outbounds to open gates. The old addage, "A lack of planning on your part should not constitute an extra hour + on the tarmac for me!". Could someone not have figured this out before today? Strike 2.

We then hiked it through ATL to gate B30 like their website told my blackberry. Nope, that is Chicago bound. We needed gate A30. Long hike again, take a train, long hike again. No moving sidewalks, etc to get from a-z quicker at ATL. Strike 3.

Fortunately, the flight to San Juan also was late getting into the gate so despite the fact that we deplaned our first leg 10 minutes after the scheduled departure of our second, we made the flight. The gate attendant was telling everyone that wanted seats together that the back was oversold. I said I was elite and asked how many seats were open in first. She said 7. I offered our coach seats that were together for her to use for a family if we could get upgraded. She nearly bit my head off! Beeeotch! I am sure she hated life for working on Thanksgiving and having all of the flight issues piling up but I was trying to help. A polite "no" would have done OK. Strike 3 1/2 (1/2 point since we still made our flight).

Then, I had to force down a Diet Coke. Just a cup too....not a whole can like NWA gives. On a 3 1/2 hour flight, I think I can handle a can. Strike 4 1/2.

Lastly, for everyone in Minneapolis that posts comments about "Northworst" having dirty planes, bad service, etc. Delta was no cleaner. Same peanuts on the floor as NWA. I had rude service at the gate. The flight attendants did seem to work a little harder even after the beverage service. Still, you have to pay for everything extra on Delta which we were forced to do with no chance to eat between flights. The Delta movie was on old TVs that probably would have been more in-focus had I taken my contacts out. All in all, I don't see the angst against NWA. My flights are almost always on time. The planes are good and safe. I might not have a movie but whatever.

I know Al will have some constructive criticism. I don't mind the merger. I just hope I don't have to get routed through ATL for more flights after the merger is done. I don't see it as a happy place to travel through.

From humid San Juan....goodnight!

Catch You Later....

2008-11-26T22:56:00.003-06:00

Well, this will be the end of posts for a short while assuming I have no connectivity on vacation. We leave Thursday for Puerto Rico. Staying there for a few days prior to embarking on the Adventure of the Seas. 7 days onboard with stops in Aruba, Curacao, St. Maarten and St. Thomas. We arrive back in PR on 12/7 and will fly home on 12/8.

Hopefully I get some connectivity and can post a picture or 2 from our new camera (Canon Digital SLR - Rebel XS).

Until then, I'll be somewhere on here. The arrow points to our stateroom!

Iowa Scores Again!

2008-11-25T21:45:00.005-06:00

I am not a huge college football fan. I think it will be more fun when the new, on campus stadium opens next year for the Gophers. The last game was Saturday with the Hated Iowa Hawkeyes coming (key word) in and scoring at will against our little rodents. The final score was 55-0. It would have been much funnier had the Hawkeyes scored 2 more touchdowns. As it turned out, per the StarTribune, the happy ending was not only on the field but also in the HandiCrapper in one of the men's rooms. From the story:

Police say a man and woman were "having relations" in a bathroom stall as a crowd cheered them on.
Ross M. Walsh, 26, of Linden, Iowa, and Lois K. Feldman, 38, of Carroll, Iowa, were cited for misdemeanor indecent conduct. Walsh was released to his girlfriend and Feldman to her husband, police said. Both were intoxicated, said Deputy Minneapolis Police Chief Chuck Miner.

The best part is that they were not a couple I presume. Released to their own significant other....classic.

I did not think Iwegians had it in them....well, maybe they all don't....but she sure did.

SAT Question of the Day

2008-11-22T17:56:00.005-06:00

Alright - time to put your thinking caps on. This is your SAT question of the day. Educational AND informative!! No thanks are necessary, I am just here to serve you.

Here it goes.

Northwest Airlines is to Pepsi as Delta is to _____________.

Maybe that is a little too challenging. Let's add some visuals....

IS TO

As......

IS TO......

Yep! You heard it here first. Well, Al probably KNEW this was coming since he is a "Delta from Salt Lake City" guy. A flight attendant told the guy next to me this when he asked for a Diet Coke. I have to say, I am a Pepsi guy. I am dissapointed that I cannot get a Diet Pepsi for very much longer on NWA (now a part of Delta as the flight attendants say).

There could be an upside to this. Perhaps some of those old, jaded, crusty flight attendants on NWA will have a Coke (and finally) a smile!

Flatline....

2008-11-18T22:25:00.002-06:00

All the last week plus, I have had items drifting into my mind that I wanted to post. Sitting in the deer stand (no, Al, I was not a Bambi Killer this year)...driving to and from my dad's....flying today to Richmond. And then....I sit here looking at a blank screen. I cannot remember anything.

What the hell is wrong with me? Certainly something must be bothering me. Something must have sparked my interest enough to post about it.

I KNOW there was something I wanted to post. I am pretty sure it had to do with something Al would relate to. But it is gone. Welcome to old age Lyle....oops, I revealed my true name....take 2....Welcome to old age Orracle.

I guess I will just move on. I will go to my meetings tomorrow. Perhaps then I will have that spark back to come to my room and post the post that everyone has been waiting for. Yep. It's coming. I can feel it.

Living Live! with Smokey!

2008-11-11T15:32:00.004-06:00

Driving by myself usually results in diverse music in the CD player once the replays of Howard Stern on Sirius are done. Last week to go up hunting, I found all kinds of music in the player. Robert Earl Keen, Charlie Robison, Disney Theme Park music, Choral and lastly a couple of Rat Pack CDs. One is from the Sands hotel and the other from "The Summit" in Chicago supposedly tied to mob favors and elections.

Here is the least likely Rat Packer to get my nod, Sammy Davis, Jr. I read a book on the crew once that said it best and if I had read it first, I could have skipped the rest of all of the books I have read on the Rat Pack....

"Sammy wanted to be Frank, Frank wanted to be Dean and Dean just did not give a damn!"

Sammy had the most talent in the group hands down. I think this is true vocally as well in dance, performance and overal ability. Sammy could do impersonations, sang beautifully and could dance like few others.

Here is Sammy doing some impersonations in song. Fun stuff!

I Don't Know What To Think...

2008-11-04T23:58:00.003-06:00

Throughout the campaign, I have had the feeling like neither candidate was worthy. Today, I made an unpopular choice. Yeah, that means I did not vote for Obama. I still don't know what this guy stands for.

He talks nice. He speaks well. He says the right things. His grandma died. He still told me nothing.

This may seem a little obvious, but I think this. It will either be the best thing to happen to America in a long time or the worst....no gray area here. If he can do what he eludes to in "change" and so many supporters think he can do as proven by the most financially rich campaign ever, it would be great.

As I gaze at the local and national crowds gathered to support, I saw some trends.

Young people. Why? They just want to buck the current status - no matter what it is and by that I mean even if Bush was not a dork and no matter if this country was not in the financial crapper, they would buck that system too.

Black people. Dancing, singing.....for a while, the scene was reminiscient of a House of Blues Gospell Brunch I went to in Vegas once (which sucked by the way).

Old people. (no comment)

Urban centers of people. This includes many of my categories above. I have news for you...America was built in the country - not in urban centers filled with college students and minorities.

The resounding image and theme is one that The Rube might be responsible for making me recognize. Largely....BUT NOT ENTIRELY...this group represents the lowest wages, people with the least to lose type of people. If Obama wants to tax the living hell out of us, it is US not THEM that take it in the shorts.

I found myself at odds with this crew. I am not rich but we do make a nice living. I do not relate myself with that crowd. I don't really want to support those that don't work. There is a resounding difference between don't and can't. If you are disabled as my father is, I will be the first to throw my tax money to you. That is a bit of a misstatement by me though as my dad, although a parapalegic, worked his ass off all of his life until retirement. He did NOT just take was was offered to him. Others, well - I think they see this time in our country as a time for entitlement to them.

I heard comments tonight on TV of groups of african-americans saying how this will change things for their kids. Perhaps. I hope they realize that Obama being president will not suddenly stop the gang bangers from gang banging, drive bys from killing others and illicit activity that plagues that community.

Let's hope these few things. A) Hussein is just bad luck in naming convention (geek speak) for him and not a sign of his true roots. B) the white minority does not really become a white minority C) he really is a true American despite his lack of flags on lapels and airplanes

Tonight was historic. Let's hope the historic is not just based on rhetoric.

My New Favorite Site(s)

2008-10-30T12:40:00.004-05:00

Aside from my newfound enjoyment of finding old high school and college friends on Facebook thanks to Sabrina telling me I should try it, I have another new favorite website.

I have always liked aviation. I probably should have gone into it as a career. Even though I used to be scared to death as a child of flying, I love it. I think because of my fear, I immersed myself in it as much as possible. Using a scanner at the airport to watch planes and listen to the communication. Reading a blog of a former United captain. Understanding the elements of flight iteself.

I have long enjoyed looking at pictures on http://www.airliners.net/ When I am at the airport and I see a couple or a small group of people traveling together and they say their connecting gate, i.e. "F12", I find myself guessing where they are going and looking at the monitors to see how close I was. There is logic in this of course...time of day (dictates where remaining flights might be going), age, how they are dressed, etc. Of course, in the MSP terminal where I am so often, I kind of have figured out NWA (read: Delta) has arranged their gate patterns. Indianapolis mostly goes from the low C gates. Omaha, the low F gates (unless it is a CRJ or Embraer). West coast flights from the high Gs.

OK, not done with the story and just reread to this point. My geekiness is even scaring ME a little.

My new favorite site out of all of this is http://www.flightaware.com/ I find myself looking up all kinds of flights to see where they are, how much time they have left, etc. I look at airplanes going to busy places to see if they are doing loops to get in line for landing. On their home page, they have a time lapse quicktime of every flight over the US for 24 hours. I could watch it loop forever I think. The patters of east to west, flights incoming from Europe and then Europe bound is so neat to me. Quite possibly just to me.

Here are some images of my flight from Indy last night and then one from 10/9 from DTW to LGA with some holding circles in it. At least I think it is cool.

Detroit to LaGuardia with 2 loops to await congestion

Nice flight from Indianapolis to Minneapolis - had a great view of Chicago out my window and you can see why! Big turns going into MSP to come in from the west!

NO?

2008-10-26T13:10:00.004-05:00

No surgery. How can that be? Is this doc a crackpot? How can the doc in 2002 be so adamant about it and I went AMA only to have it bleed out in September this year but this doc says I do not need surgery? It's not that I want the surgery. Frankly, I am a chicken shit and it really cramps my schedule.

Well, here is the deal. He saw the mastoiditis although he said it is not the whole mastoid. He thinks a little prednisone and more antibiotic (my gut it gonna be eaten away) should take care of it for now. He does want to see me in two weeks to be 100% sure, but at this point, he thinks we stay away from the knife. The best part of the visit was that Jessa got to witness deep ear suctioning for the first time. The look on my face combined with the sound and the fact that I plugged the suction tip 2 times!!! Having it done really sucks, literally, but I am used to it after having it done so many times in my life.

This just in....Rube Nation Tries a Honeycrisp....

This one day, The Rube calls me. He is shocked at how much the Honeycrisps were on his grocery bill. At this point, still no word on whether he likes them or not. The offer still stands to buy them from you at 1/2 price.

Looks like there is hope to go to Saskatoon yet!

I was reading a story on Lorrie Morgan having just filed bankruptcy to "reorganize her company". Turns out she is broke. What part of "do not spend more than you have" don't you understand Lorrie? I guess when she sang "Something in Red", she was talking about her bottom line. She says she needs to reorganize her company after her recent divorce from Sammy Kershaw. Don't Go Near The IRS Man, Sammy....don't worry about the water! The best part is that this is ex-hubby #5 for Morgan. Al is only through 2. That means we can have a wedding for Al in Saskatoon, then #4 in Moose Jaw and #5 in Winnipeg just to be different and experience a different province. Of course, all divorce celebrations to be held in Vegas.

Prior to being sidetracked on Al's future weddings, I thought about this a little deeper. Lorrie's "company" needs to be reorganized. Company? Look, your music stopped selling. The reorganization needs to be an effort to find a new line of work! In the sprirt of this though, I had a band once with some friends. I'd like to reorganize and try again. To offset my wage loss while I work on this little project, I will just file bankruptcy to protect my assets. Great plan!

The Cost of a Good Meal

2008-10-19T23:11:00.002-05:00

We just returned from a weekend of pheasant hunting. We have enough birds for one meal. So, let's add this trip up.

$110 non resident SD Small Game license
$75 in fuel
$50 Motel (Jake was so happy that we finally got to stay in a "M"otel instead of a "H"otel!)
$80 for shells and what I will classify as hunting food from Fleet Farm
$100 for dinner (treated the guy who let me hunt on his land) - at least he bought my 15 captain morgan's after dinner....like I needed THAT!
$35 breakfast today

That adds up to $450.00! 3 birds makes it $150 a bird. I could have gone to a game farm 10 miles away and bought 56 pheasants all cleaned with no lead in them and frozen for that much money!

Obviously, this is worth so much more. Seeing Dozer (old man Black Lab) possibly on his last hunt. His hips are shot. If not for drugging him with doggie asprin and other hip stuff, he'd not be able to walk. BUT - he did hunt 1/2 of both days. Good for him. He was so happy out there.

Plus, this was Indy's first hunt. By the end of Saturday, he was completely off of the check cord and we never used the shock collar. He totally responded to the whistle which was new for me to try vs. the shock collar. He was completely in his element and instincts took over. For a 6 month old dog, he did wonderfully.

Add in that Jake got to ride in a combine with a 35' head that was picking beans and see how it all works. He was even in there when they did a moving dump into the hopper being pulled next to the combine. Then, later he was able to ride in the other big tractor that pulled the hopper and he got to DRIVE that. He said it was the most awesome thing EVER!

Now as I lick my own wounds from walking through the long grasses, falling over clumps of dirt and running in boots after partially dead pheasants, it is fun to look back on the fun we had as a family this weekend. Very cool. Even if it was $450!

You Have Died of Dysentery

2008-10-15T23:05:00.005-05:00

Anyone who played Oregon Trail knows that line. My travel schedule lately has been similar to that of the 49ers on the Oregon Trail. Maybe not QUITE that bad but it has been a busy stretch of travel. It went something like this:

10/5 - 7 AM flight from MSP to SEA. Went early so I could drive the ~2 hours south near Olympia to see my grandma. Went to the Microsoft BI Conference which was really nice!

10/8 and 10/9 - redeye from SEA to DTW for 60 minutes and then DTW to LGA. Cross country.....wow. It is amazing was sudden, violent turbulence at about the 2 1/2 hour point will do to your sleep pattern.

10/10 - LAAAATE flight from LGA to MSP after a meeting in CT with a client.

10/11 - wake up at home, pretty sure it is CST but feel completely hungover.

10/13 - Fly to Omaha

10/14 - Fly back to MSP. Finally done until 10/27.

Fortunately, I experienced an unprecedented run of first class upgrades by going 6 for 6 on this list of flights. As a silver, I had my doubts on a few legs despite the odd hour flights. I was maning hoping for the redeye and obviously got it along with all others.

I really felt like I hit the point of traveling too much when a flight attendant recognized me from a flight last spring on last nights OMA-MSP flight. The scary part is that this leg was on Compass Airlines on a puddle jumper which I fly on very rarely.

How is the ear you ask?

Well, I had a CT Scan on Monday and tonight received a rather frantic call from my local Doc. He is calling in an "urgent" request to the ENT doc to get me in ASAP. So urgent that if I do not hear from them by noon Thursday, I am to call him to let him know.

You see, I have been diagnosed with Mastoiditis and while my cup size has increased, it has nothing to do with my man-boobs. My mastoid bone is fluid and potentially infection filled. Complications range from hearing loss to brain abcess and death. That is some range....

I know they will threaten surgery. I think I will probably comply this time as my ears have been worse than ever this round. I really hope they will postpone it until after my vacation (cruise) from 11/27-12/8 as the recovery is anywhere from 2-4 weeks at home and quite often requires a second surgery soon after the first.

More to come I suppose....

Third Party Travel Sites

2008-09-29T14:44:00.003-05:00

Why do people use third party travel sites like Orbitz, Expedia, etc?

Obviously, people use them as their growth and longevity is proven. I use them to research but leave it at that. I generally go to the hotel, airline, car rental company directly once I have completed my research. Only in a few cases have I found the rate on the 3rd party site to be lower. For airfare, when it is, it usually involves one or more stops and usually is more than one airline which sounds like confusion and disaster when "flight A" is late. The second airline really could care less and may not have a need or requirement to help you find your way to the final destination. Furthermore, many of their itineraries involve weird connections with 10 hours between and "arriving the next day".

In the Strib Sunday, they run a column called "Travel Troubleshooter" by Christopher Elliott. He also has this website with many more stories.

My observation when reading these is that the resounding theme is, "I booked with Expedia"...."I booked with Orbitz", etc. They get overcharged. They get unreported fees. The hotel could care less about their reservation specifics such as "King bed", etc because it was a cut-rate, surplus room rate reservation. If you read some of the stories on his site, yes, some were booked direct with the carrier. airline, etc. My observation is that the complaints are heavily weighted to third party sites.

What is the draw to these sites other than to provide one set of options as a form of research? I just do not see it. Maybe YOU can tell me!

Pushing The Lines of Honesty?

2008-09-27T20:11:00.004-05:00

Jess and I made a decision to be better shoppers for consumables and groceries. This means planning meals and shopping trips, etc. Through various coupon sites, the Sunday ads and the store specials, it has been amazing watching the savings multiply. Our last 4 grocery trips have yielded savings of $95.00, $48.79, $49.52 and one just over $50 (did not have this one written down).

Add in gas coupons (Cub gives coupons for Holiday gas that are based on your total pre-coupon sales amount so $210 in groceries would give you a 12 gallon coupon for 21 cents off per gallon). The last 4 gas coupons saved us a roughly $11.00 at the pump.

Lastly, the yucky part - mail in rebates (General Mills, etc) have yielded $12.50.

All summed up, it equates to over $266.00 in just about 2 months! That is amazing. It means stocking up on things that are good deals. Combining a store "loss leader" with coupons, etc. For example, we rarely eat Hamburger Helper but bought 6 boxes tonight since combining the $1 per box store loss leader with the coupons brought them to .63 per box**. When we need a quick dinner - now we have it on hand rather than just going out somewhere.

OK, good for us right? The title has to do with honesty. What's that all about?

Well, I have to admit - I squeeze in extra coupons. Not a ton but usually in situations where I am buying a higher quantity of something. See the ** by the Hamburger Helper line? Well, I had 3 coupons for that product. $1.10 off of 3 boxes x 2 and .75 off of 3 boxes. I used three coupons for $2.95 which would have required purchasing 9 boxes but I only bought 6. So - technically, my price per box was .51 at the checkout. I "screwed" them out of .75.

My justification goes like this:

I will use extra coupons when I buy a ton of something like the HH example above.
I will sometimes do it when it requires 3 but I only buy 2 or buy 1 instead of 2.
I will not throw in coupons for things that I do not actually buy.
If a coupon requires the "21 oz size" I might buy the 15 oz size and still use the coupon.
If the store has a set of coupons that are activated by "one additional $25 purchase" and "limit one per household", we will get 2 carts and double up on them if those deals are plentiful and exceptional. For example, today- they had about 8 items that were $1 if you spent $25. They all were savings of 50-65% so we did those items 2x and checked out separately.
Always seek out the youngest checker, preferably a guy. They'll never question you.

The way I see it, for every guy like me that cheats a little, 10 other customers don't use a single coupon. If you combine my order with the next guy, we comply with the coupon's requirement PLUS the store gets reimbursed for the coupons anyway. I guess that logic works for everything except the loss leaders.

Am I wrong? Is this just shades of gray? I don't think so but maybe someone else does.

Why Pawlenty Would Not Have Been a Good VP Either

2008-09-26T11:02:00.004-05:00

Again, with the pre-post disclaimer - I don't think Obama or McCain are decent choices for prez. Certainly, aside from her looks, Palin was not a good VP choice. As a quasi-Minnesotan, I would have though Pawlenty (MN-GOV) would have been a better choice. Then again, maybe not. Here is why...

T-Paw is forcing the whole ethanol/corn BS down our throats in MN. I know it starts at the Fed level but it is his baby here locally.

I sat next to a guy on a flight from DC to MSP once and he enlightened me to some facts that I looked into and he is exactly right.

Why make corn into ethanol instead of sugar beets? Anyone who has been in a biology class knows that sugars convert to alcohol. Starches must first be converted to a sugar to become an alcohol.

Which would be more efficient? A one step process or two? Hmmmmmm.

Then I see a story like today's in the Strib. Sugar beet farmers may have to plow under 10 percent of their crop?

If we had plants that converted a sugar beet to ethanol instead of the 2 step corn process, we could make these beets into GAS GAS GAS with LESS LESS LESS! Here I thought the sugar beet lobby in DC was big and strong like corn. I guessed wrong again.

These are the things in government that so many people don't see but are so clearly wrong. We can raise so much more of a sugar beet crop than corn in this state if we had a reason. Think about it, any storm will destroy a corn field but a sugar beet field will be far less impacted because of it being under ground for the most part. They grow these things in the Moorhead and western MN areas - ANYTHING that can grow there is like a cockroach and will survive anything!

Bottom line, I think this whole initiative of ethanol, at least as it exists today is a waste especially with the extra $$$$$ the subsidies pour into it. We need to be smarter. I would change my mind on ethanol if we truly could do it without the extra subsidized cost and/or use a different renewable source such as sugar beets. Corn is clearly not the answer. With so many ears.....how come nobody is listening?

Wrong Place, Wrong Time...

2008-09-25T10:39:00.003-05:00

I think this is the story of my life. Now, this is not a situation where I am just whining ... ok, maybe a little - because I am pretty happy with my life. Just when I sit back and look at what bugs me, it is because the place I live, the job I do, etc etc etc are impacting what I have.

I'll say it again, I am very fortunate - but look at a few of these things.

If gas goes up, it goes up in my neighborhood when others don't.
If gas is cheap somewhere like now in the north metro ($3.28), my area is still $3.49 or more
When the hailstorm hit New Richmond in May - everyone got a free roof in my neighborhood. Mine only has "marginal" damage which means it will not need replacing until after this winter's snow and ice when it is not covered by the hail event (and my roof is roughly 48 square a.k.a. big and expensive)
At the casino, the guy next to me wins the Royal Flush
At the liquor store in MPLS (years ago) - my truck was the one sprayed with bullets in the drive by shooting.
When other people's friends get married, it is across town or maybe Jamaica. When my friends get married, it is in Regina or Saskatoon.

Yeah, its all minor. After enough of these things you start to feel like John Candy in Summer Rental - where you'd like to win just once.

Oh well, life is good anyway.

On The Day You Were Born....Living Live!

2008-09-24T11:20:00.003-05:00

I rarely find a website so neat that I have a desire to share it. Today, Karissa sent me one that I really like. This site tells you the #1 song the day you were born, married, etc. It is simple and fun. Then again, I am the type of guy that likes to look through the Billboard Top 100 book as comfort reading. I might be a little different.

I am curious to know what the songs for your birthdays, etc are. My songs of note...

Birthday: Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson - somewhat fitting for me I think.
21st Birthday (What we did shots to....): Black or White by Michael Jackson (cool video)
Wedding Day: Take a Bow by Madonna....I don't even know this song.
Day I started at LTCG: Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon....again, I don't know this song and LTCG is NOT everything I want....not yet anyway.

Here is Smokey doing the LIVE cut of my song!

It Is Drug Season

2008-09-22T11:35:00.002-05:00

I would like to post my disclaimer up front to this post - the parallel I will be drawing to actual drugs is meant in no way to diminish the severity of true, hard drug abuse.

Last night, I bought my first bag of Honeycrisp apples. They are as close to a drug or addiction that I have. They will practically put me in the poor house every fall. I just ate my first one. I think I saw the face of God. These gems were bred at the University of MN and are now starting to show up with "Washington" and "Michigan" stickers on them. We need more. Every orchard needs to plant Honeycrisp trees. They can saw down all of the Delicious Red and Gala trees and plant Honeycrisp trees. I saw that there is a grower in Blackfoot, ID. How close to Pocatello is that Al? I can say that even though I can attend a Pocatello funeral online, I'd pay the airfare to go to that orchard. (NOTE: Due to past concern and comments, The Orracle will not speculate as to WHOSE funeral may or may not be attended in Pocatello)

Last night, I bought 6. $12.45 was the total cost. Still cheaper than a gallon of gas.

Normally, I will censor myself and only buy items, even if seasonal when they are finally plentiful and available for much less. Not these babies. If they made them $6 a pound, I'd still buy them. They are far too good to not eat. Fortunately, Jessica cannot eat them because of her TMJ. Jake and Ashlie like them too much too. It gets to be an expensive addiction.

The sad part is that it is already mid September and they will be gone soon. I will be left with withdrawl and sadness and the yearning for next year's crop of Honeycrisps. Heavenly.....

In Sickness and in Health

2008-09-20T12:42:00.003-05:00

No, this is not the announcement that I will be traveling to Saskatoon to see Al venture into marriage again. Sorry.

This is about my sickness and my daughter's health.

WORST FIRST!

I have always had bad ears. As a youngster, they were bad. Tubes helped until I had a SCUBA accident and had to come to the surface without breathing. In 2002, I was diagnosed with a Cholesteatoma. Initially I assumed that meant I had 6 months to live. Technically - it should have had surgery but I was not into the idea. Furthermore, I was told that avoiding infections would prolong the growth of the cystic area. Good enough for me.

Well, I have had a couple of small infections but nothing noteworthy. Until now....it started late August and into my Disney vacation. I came back and noticed some blood in my ear canal every AM. No pain and none of the tell-tale signs of an infection. Logically, I ignored it. I flew to Indy this week and then I felt it coming. By the time I descended into MSP on Wednesday, it was full blown. Thursday AM left me with the most blood coming from my ear that I can ever remember. Doc on Thursday to get my regular regiment of meds including drops, antibiotic and a steriod dosepack to reduce inflamation in the ear canal which is now swelled shut.

It is now 2 days into the meds and draining is high but I am not confident we are nailing the thing. Kind of scary....

ON TO BETTER THINGS!

New Richmond has a rich history of marching bands. Currently, the middle school is perceived as better than the high school for a variety of reasons. The MS director is the former director of the HS bands that won national awards.

Ashlie has a dream of pursuing music. Her piano and guitar abilities are great. Her sax is second nature. She felt she needed something to boost her resume and when they announced tryouts for the future Major/Majorette, she wanted it. As a ninth grader, this was a lofty goal. This would mean she would begin learning it yet this year as the current Major is a Sr. She as been in this band just since June.

Of course, the reason for the post is that Ashlie was selected Majorette of the NR Tigers Marching Band beginning her learning from Andy this year and taking over next summer. This is huge and he competition was tough. She will have 3 years to help refine this band to the quality it once was. I could not be more proud of her. This is a great achievement.

CONGRATS ASHLIE!

Change is Everywhere

2008-09-12T22:18:00.002-05:00

In a time when all we hear is "CHANGE!" from our prezzy hopefuls, I bring you several items of change for me.

1) The biggest, most important. Boxers. No, not Mike Tyson like - but underwear type. You see, I tried them once when I was very young and I could not handle the looseness. That is to say that I was flippin and floppin....too much excitement for a young stud like I once was. You see, in Disney last week, I had a bad chafing problem. I know, TMI - but in the interest of full disclosure, I feel compelled to tell you all. Knowing I could not go 7 days at Disney in 95 degree weather, I had to try them and I LOVE THEM! So for all of you that ever asked me, "Boxers or Briefs?" well, it used to be briefs (boxer-briefs actually) and now is full blown boxers.

2) Change #2 is to formally announce that since we are "back to school", I will be changing my blogging pattern to something more than once a month.

3) #3 - ah, hell....there is no #3. This was really about #1. All about the freedom in my pants. OK, enough, I know.

Here is to change, wherever you are.....whoever you support or whatever supports you!

Die Online

2008-08-15T15:08:00.002-05:00

Before we hit the morbid subject today, I just realized that I launched this blog on 8/4/07 so happy birthday to The Orracle ten days ago. Now the subject of the post....

I was just watching videos on CNN.com because the data analysis I have on my plate is absolutley boring me not to mention that I have 1 program manager and 2 project managers asking me for status on it (nothing makes me want to work slower than repeated PM "what's the status on this?" email)....but I digress.

Back to the video on CNN.com. Downard Funeral Home in Pocatello, ID, has a new service. If you cannot make it to the funeral, you can watch it online. This can happen real time or after once it is archived.

Genius. Let's talk about Al. He is a great guy. I love him like a brother or something like that. We always have hit it off and there is nothing I would want remotely close to Al's funeral. Since he lives in Pocatello, I am compelled to use him as an example (plus it ups his reference count on my blog).

Given my need to save 14 grand for my first class trip to Dubai on the A380-800, I will not be able to make it to Pocatello for Al's funeral. I now can watch it from work and can legitimately track my time to that activity as "bereavment". Ultimately, the "kicker" here is that everyone wins (except Al because he is no longer with us hypothetically).

I think weddings should go this route too. Imagine you have hit your capacity at the wedding but still have people that you want to invite. You can send them a coupon to Chic-fil-a or McDonald's for some McNuggets (all weddings have chicken) and a bottle of beer with the link to the ceremony and reception video. Problem solved!

A Call For Help!

2008-08-04T22:54:00.003-05:00

No, despite your concerns, the call for help is not to locate The Orracle. I'm OK. Busy at work - new CIO (again) and therefore the usual changes and new order that creates a little extra work...and we were busy before all of that!

A while ago, I asked for help. Financial help. I wanted to go to Disney yet this summer (free dining plan) along with the cruise in November still. Well, depspite all better financial judgement and 2 fortune cookies advising me to save my money, we are booked and pretty much paid up on both trips. Now, my dead van is in the driveway since I cannot afford the new tranny it needs (not that kind of tranny, Al). More to come on the van's fate...

Now I am pressed one more time to ask my faithful readers, both of you, for help. I love to travel. I love airplanes. I REALLY love first class.

I was reading on usatoday about the first ever A380-800 flight to JFK on Emirates. So, I did a little research on the booking. This is what it looks like to leave a day after my birthday (can't leave on the 8th since we get back from our cruise on the 8th).

Seriously, if you plan to fly 12-14 hours being a bigger guy, you need some space. I figure with the extra amenities of first class on this plane, I should be OK.

Well, you have your orders. Let me know if you need my Paypal account to deposit your donation to the "Send The Orracle To Dubai In First Class" fund. I'll let you know when I reach the $14,635.47 goal.

Living Live Swimming In Tears!

2008-07-16T21:21:00.002-05:00

I liked matching a living live song up to something on my mind so much last time with the (non) global warming theme that I decided to do it again.

I am a Minnesotan. I bleed purple. I just happen to live in Wisconsin. That changes nothing.

There's this guy...named Brett Favre. He is an OK QB that has retired twice. (Al might argue that he is starting to look like Garth Brooks). Editor's note: The Orracle likes to imagine what Al might think.

Anyway, this clown, whom I have never liked cannot make up his mind. He wants to retire, he wants to play. He cries when he retires. He cries when he decides to come back. He needs therapy.

Commuting to the cities, I see so many Cheesehead Rubes (not to be mistaken for "The Rube") with the "G" license plates. I think they need a new plate for Packer fans with a tear on it next to a number 4. Honestly Brett, grow a pair and stop the sniveling.

So, for the crybaby Brett, here is Roy Orbison singing Crying. P.S., I looked for an old 80's one hit wonder song called CRY but could not find it because I do not know who sings it. Oh well, Orbison is the bomb.